Episode Seven: A Pink Handkerchief

Har na karasa dakin mu ina tunanin maganganun Amira. Tabbas duk abinda ta fada gaskiya ne. I know my biology and I know I am in adolescent stage. But am I really attracted to Ibrahim? It is not as if we are in love or something amma kuma do I even know what love is? Am I ready for this? Har na kwanta ina ta lissafi a raina. Soyayya da Ibrahim ba abu ne me yiwuwa ba. Wata tafiya ce mai tsaho. Family na, familyn shi, everyone will be against us. Hatta Hafsat ta saurara masa ne yanzu saboda nace mata ba soyayya tsakani na dashi. But i know what I am feeling. Ba zance ina son shi ba saboda ban san menene son ba. Amma nasan ina son kasancewa tare dashi, yana sani dariya, kuma duk sanda bana tare dashi inajin kamar ina missing wani abu. Is this love 💘? Ni na san ba zan iya yiwa Hafsat wannan tambayar ba in ba so nake in tsokano tsuliyar dodo ba. Tambayar da nake yiwa kaina itace: if abinda nake ji shine love din, am I willing to take the chance for him? And more important, is he willing to take the chance for me? Tun daga lokacin sai na samu kaina da yin baya baya da Ibrahim. Bana barin mu hada ido dashi sam, in ya taho zai rako ni kuma na kan jawo Amira ko Hafsat mu tafi tare, ita ma kuma Amiran ba ta ki saboda ta fahimci maganar da tayi min rannan ne ta saka nake gyarawa. Kullum in muna tafiya kuma maganar mu bata wuce ta karatu ko labarin gida. Muna haka har muka fara exams komai ya koma serious, Amira ma tayi joining karatun mu, kullum tare muke karatu mu uku shi kuma Ibrahim in mun gama sai ya dunga yi mana questions muna amsawa. Ana gobe zamu yi hutu mun fito daga Exam sai Ibrahim yayi kirana, muka tafi ni da Amira. Muna zuwa muka tarar dashi yana waya. Sai da ya gama wayar sannan ya kallemu yace "so you guys are going home tomorrow, right?" Amira tace "yes sir" yayi dariya yace "oh su Amira harda saurin amsawa ko? Wato kin gaji da ganin mu ko? Dadinta dai muma gidan zamu tafi muma mu huta" sai a sannan nayi magana nace "are you going home also" ya kalleni da seriousness yace "yes, I am going tomorrow, there is nothing for me to do here in kun tafi" na hadiye wani kululu da ya tsaya min a wuya na nace a hankali "ok". Mukayi shiru for sometimes sannan yace "I will see you guys tomorrow before you go" Amira ce kawai ta bashi amsa da ok sir. Daganan muka tafi hostel. Duk jikina a sanyaye nake shirin tafiya, tamkar wacce ta tashi daga jinya haka nake ji na. Washegari tun a assembly ground nake ware ido ko zan ganshi amma babu shi babu alamar sa. Gashi wannan abun da ya tsaya min a makogwaro na har yanzu yaki wucewa. Wajen karfe goma aka bude gate motoci suka fara shigowa. Hafsat sai ware ido take tana neman motar gidan mu ni kuwa addu'a nake yi a raina kar su zo yanzu sai na ganshi. Muna cikin haka na hango motar mu tana shigowa, na lura Hafsat bata ganta ba sai nayi sauri nace mata "Hafsat zan dan je toilet kafin azo daukan mu" batare data kalli inda nake ba tace "ok" na juya da sauri nayi hanyar classes ina ta waige waigen ko zan ganshi, har naje gate din hostel ban banshi ba, kuma na tarar har an rufe get din dan haka na juyo, hawaye naji mai zafi yana tahowa daga kirjina amma naki na barshi ya karaso idona saboda kar a gani a tambayeni dalilinsa. Ina tafiya kaina a kasa naji an kama hannuna an jani da sauri cikin wani class, da sauri na kwace hannuna ina neman hanyar gudu sannan naji wannan mayataccen kamshin nasa ya ziyarci hancina, na juyo da sauri muka hada ido. Ya saka complete kaki na NYSC a jikin sa, p-cap din ya juya ta tana kallon bayansa, da backpack a goye a bayansa. Fuskarsa babu murmushi. Mun jima muna kallon juna sannan nace "I thought ka tafi" ya hadiye yawu adams apple dinsa ya motsa sannan yace "I am sorry, an kira mu meeting ne tun safe, I was really pissed na dauka bazan same ki ba" naji dadin maganarsa har cikin raina, take naji wannan kululun da ya tsaya min a wuya ya narke yana tafiya. Nayi murmushi nace "I was afraid ka tafi without saying goodbye" ya matso gaf dani yanda har muna iya jin lumfashin juna, sa saka hannayensa biyu ya ruko fuskata idonsa cikin nawa yace "I will never" a can kasan zuciya ta nake jin tana min warning cewa in kwace fuskata daga hannunsa in matsa daga kusa dashi amma jikina yaki yayi responding, na kasa koda dauke ido na daga cikin nasa ballantana in matsa. Mun jima a haka kamar masu haddace fuskokin juna sannan kuma ya sake ni da sauri ya juya bayansa ba tare da ya sake kallona ba yace "go Maimunatu, just go" da sauri na bude kofar class din na fita kirjina yana bugawa da karfi amma kuma ina jin tamkar na bar zuciyata a cikin ajin. Ina fita na hango Hafsat tana tahowa daga hanyar hostel, daga dukkan alama ni take nema, gurinta na tafi da sauri ina kiran ta. A tare muka karasa gurin motar mu Ya Walid yana ta fada wai na bata masa lokaci, ni kuwa waige nake yi zuciyata cike da fatan ko zan sake ganin sa, one last time. Muna shiga mota sai ga Amira da sauri tana tsayar damu. Muna tsayawa ta bani wani littafi wai inji Ibrahim. Wani novel dinsa ne "Sands of Time". Abin mamakin shine ni ban ce masa ina so ba, asali ma ni ba ma'abociyar karatun novel bace. Na karba na saka a hand bag dina muka yi sallama da amira muka tafi. Kafin muje gida har na ware, Ya Walid yana gaya mana su Inna sun zo tare da Amina (wata cousin din mu sa'a ta a 'yalleman) dan haka muna zuwa gida da murnar mu muka tafi gurin Mommy, Daddy baya kasar a lokacin, muka tarar an shirya mana abinciccika iri iri, nan muka hadu gaba daya a falon su inna har Daada muna cin abinci muna hirar yaushe gamo, Ya Walid yayi tayi mana hotuna saboda washegari zai tafi Oxford hutun sa ya kare. Gaskiya ba abinda yafi Family dadi. Kowa ya bar gida gida ya barshi. Har dare muna tare ana ta hira, ga mamaki na Hafsat bata yi zancen Ibrahim ba. Sai mommy ce ma tace "Hafsat kina zuwa extra lessons din kuwa?" Hafsat tace "Eh, Mommy ina zuwa" Mommy tace "good, saboda bana son Moon take zama ita kadai tare da wannan malamin naku, kuma bana son in hana ta saboda naga tana benefitting" sai a sannan na gane manufar Mommy ta hada mu da Hafsat, lallai ance abinda babba ya hango yaro ko ya hau dutsen dala ba zai hango ba. Sai da dare yayi sannan muka koma part din mu. Na hada ruwan wanka na shiga tub sannan na fara lissafa abubuwan da suka faru. Tabbas maganar da Amira ta gayamin gaskiya ce, tabbas I am attracted to Ibrahim kamar yadda ta fada. I am weak. Zuciya ta is too soft. Ko zan cigaba da alaka da Ibrahim sai na dage sosai. Daganan na tuna da littafinsa a cikin hand bag dina. Bayan na fito daga wanka da shirya cikin riga da wando na bacci sai na dauko littafin na kwanta ina dubawa kawai sai naga takarda ta fado. Ina dauka naji kanshin turarensa a jiki, na bude naga rubutun sa kamar haka. MAIMUNATU I CAN NO LONGER STOP MYSELF FROM SAYING THIS, BELIEVE ME I TRIED. MAIMUNATU I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU. I NEVER KNOW WHAT LOVE FEELS LIKE BUT I AM 100% SURE THAT THIS IS IT. I AM NOT SURE IF YOU FEEL ABOUT ME AS I FEEL ABOUT YOU. PLEASE MAIMUNATU, IF MY ANSWER IS NO, CALL THE NUMBER AT THE END OF THIS LETTER AND JUST SAY NO, THEN I WILL ASK FOR REDEPLOYMENT BEFORE YOU RESUME. I CAN'T KEEP SEEING YOU KNOWING YOU WON'T BE MINE. YOUR'S IN LOVE IBRAHIM A O Na jima ina karanta takardar hannuna ina maimaitawa. Sannan na dora ta akan kirjina na kuma lumshe idona. Amma Ibrahim baka yi min adalci ba, yanzu me kake so ince maka? Yes or No? Ni dai nasan koda wasa bazan tunkari Hafsat da sunan neman shawara ba. Na sake karanta takardar kamar me saka ran ganin chanji a rubutun. Tabbas handwriting dinsa ne, kuma kamshin turarensa ne. Na kai ido na kan number daya rubuta a kasan takardar lokaci daya na haddace ta. Na ninke takardar na mayar cikin littafin, a lokacin Hafsat ta shigo tana hamma, ta kalleni tace "kasa! a gidan ma sai kinyi baccin wuri?" na danyi dariya ban bata amsa ba saboda I was not in the mood. Ina kallonta tana shirin wanka na dauko littafin Ibrahim na fara karantawa saboda nasan sa idon Hafsat, tana shiga wanka na rufe littafin na saka a kasan filona na kwanta akai. Har ta fito ta shirya ta kwanta banyi bacci ba ina ta sakawa da warwarewa. What should I do? A yau da safe ne na tabbatar wa kaina cewa ina son Ibrahim har cikin rai na, yanzu bani da tantama akan wannan, amma nasan abu ne mai wahala kasancewar mu tare. Bani da problem da Daddy sai Mommy nake ji, kallo daya idan tayi min sai na gwammace ban taba ganin Ibrahim ba, Inna da baffa da kawunnai na na 'yalleman zasu iya haka rami su binne ni akan su barni in auri Ibrahim. Ina son family na fiye da komai dan haka maganar inbijire musu ma bata taso ba. A daya side din kuma in na cewa Ibrahim no nasan ba wasa yake yi ba akan maganar barin school din mu, kuma bazan sake ganin sa ba har abada sai dai wani ikon Allah. Anya zuciya ta zata iya daukan haka kuwa? Anya yadda nake jinsa a zuciya ta a yanzu zan iya ci gaba da rayuwa ba tare da shi ba kuwa? What should I do? A haka bacci barawo ya dauke ni. Cikin bacci nayi mafarki wai gashi muna tafiya da family na a mota a nata hira ana dariya sai naga Ibrahim yana tafiya a kasa shi kadai, sai yayi mun murmushi nima nayi masa, mun wuce shi kenan sai ya fara bin mu da gudu yana kirana a haka har muka yi nisa na daina ganinsa. Na farka a firgice ina addu'ah. Na jima a zaune ina ta maimaitawa a raina cewa 'it is only a dream, you will see him again". Ina tashi na daga pillow na na dauko letter dinsa na je na bude locker din textbooks din mu na saka ta acikin wani biology textbook na mayar na rufe. Hutun sam banji dadinsa ba, kona saki raina da na tuno da takardar da take cikin locker dina sai inji gaba na ya fadi. Rannan na fito daga wanka ina shirya wa kawai na kalli mudubi sai na fara wondering what happenned to me? Yaushe har nayi girman da zan fara tunanin soyayya? Yaushe Daada ta daina goyani? Ni ba shekaru ba ni ba girman jiki ba amma na dora wa kaina wahala? Na tuno daddy da yadda zai zama disappointed in yaji labarin abinda yake faruwa. Da wannan tunanin na saka kayana direct na tafi part din Daada, luckily na tarar tana bacci, banyi wata wata ba na dau wayarta na saka number din Ibrahim. Sai da ta kusa katsewa sannan ya dauka yace "hello" da muryar bacci. Dif duka nepar jikina ta dauke na tsaya sororo da waya a kunnena na kasa magana. Ya sake cewa "hello, who is there?" Still na kasa magana kuma na kasa kashe wayar. Ina jinsa yayi tsaki yana kunkuni kasa kasa ya kashe wayar. Na durkushe a kasa ina jin haushin kaina. What has Ibrahim done to me? Done to my heart? I can't even say no to him. Tun daga ranar ban sake gwada kiransa ba kuma har hutun mu ya kare banyi making decision ba. Ranar da zamu koma haka kawai naji ni kamar marar lafiya, Mommy duk ta dauka bana son komawa ne har tana yi min fada. Kamar tasan abinda yake raina tace "Moon zaku cigaba da lessons din da wannan copper din?" Na kalleta truthfully nace "I don't know Mommy" tace "ok in zaku cigaba ki tabbatar kuna zuwa tare da Hafsat, I don't want you staying alone with him" na sunkuyar da kaina kasa ina jin kamar zanyi kuka nace "ok Mommy". Da haka mukayi sallama muka tafi. Motar mu tana packing na hangoshi a jikin staff room, ya jingina da jikin katanga ya rungume hannayensa a kirjinsa, idonsa akan inda motoci suke ajiye students. Muna fitowa Hafsat ta matso kusa dani tace "wow, he can't wait to see you Moon, can he?" Nayi banza na rabu da ita ina fito da bags din mu, ta sake matsowa tace "au ba zaki bani answer ba? Ko saina fada da karfi ya Habeeb yaji? Maybe they can even be friends" na ajiye jakar hannuna nace mata "what exactly do you want to know?" Ta tsare ni da ido tace "your answer, the answer he is waiting for, is it a Yes or a No?" Nan take naji daci a bakina, so Hafsat ta karanta letter din Ibrahim kenan, amma ban taba ganin mutum mai sa ido a rayuwata irin Hafsat ba. Na tsaya kawai ina kallonta ita kuma tana yi min murmushin mugunta. Ya Habeeb ya zagayo yace "Hey, zaku fara fadan tun kafin in tafi ko?" Hafsat tace "No, yaya Habeeb ba fada muke ba, we are just catching up akan harkar makaranta" Ya Habeeb ya kalleni yace "is she maltreating you, I know Hafsat can be bossy at times" na kalle shi kawai sai naji kwalla tazo min, na rungume shi sai kuka, nayi kuka na mai isata sannan na sake shi, sai a lokacin na lura ashe fada ya ke yiwa Hafsat ita kuma sai rantse rantse take yi cewa sharri nake yi mata babu abinda tayi min. Su duk basu san me yake damuna ba. Ina gama share hawayena na dauki handbag dina na wuce hostel. Ina zuwa hostel ko gado na ban gyara ba na dauko wani pink handkerchief dina mai cin-bakin purple, na duba locker dina da dauko permanent marker na zauna nayi rubutu a jikin handkerchief din na barshi ya bushe sannan na yi folding na fita daga hostel din da sauri da shi a hannuna. Hanyar staff room na nufa ina tafiya ina share kwalla a ido na, a hanya muka hadu da Hafsat ta fara yi min bala'in na taho na barta da daukan kaya, ban kula ta ba na wuce na bini da kallo. Ina shiga staff room na ganshi yana arranging desk dinsa ya dago da sauri yana kallona, ya taho kamar zaiyi min magana na wuce shi na ajiye handkerchief din hannuna a kan desk dinsa na juya na fita. Ina kallonsa yayi sauri ya dauki handkerchief din sai naga murmushi ya baiyana a fuskarsa. Abinda na rubuta masa shine "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS, BUT I WANT TO FIND OUT WITH YOU" Washe gari muna shiga class naga students a tsaye a gaban board suna karanta wani abu, na buda su na shiga, rubutun Ibrahim ne akan board "THEN I WILL BE THE HAPPIEST MAN ON EARTH" na juya naje nayi zamana a seat dina. Ina zama sai ga Hafsat ta zo ta tsaya a gaba na tace "then it is a yes" na kalleta cikin ido nace "yes, it is" The battle has begun.