Not Again!
# CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
### Not Again
A month passed.
Not dramatically.Not with some great event that announced its arrival.
It simply slipped into the spaces between lectures, phone calls, late-night conversations and ordinary days until Se’ad suddenly realized that an entire month had gone by. And somehow, life had begun feeling normal again.
A different kind of normal. She was still a student. Still had mornings when getting out of bed felt like a personal attack, complained about assignments, argued with Hauwa over clothes, and called Mama whenever she missed home.
Still found herself smiling whenever Abba made one of his dry jokes during their calls.
And, unfortunately for her peace of mind— still had a certain Nass💵 appearing on her phone at the most unexpected moments.
Her second-semester examinations were barely a month away. Which meant her lecturers had suddenly remembered that they had an entire syllabus to finish. Se’ad had remembered too.
She simply preferred pretending she hadn't.
---
“Se’ad!” She didn't answer. “Se’ad!” Nothing.
Hauwa stood at the doorway of their room with both hands on her waist. “Wallahi, if you don't wake up now, I'll pour water on you.” A muffled voice came from beneath the blanket. “Leave me.”
“Lecture is by eight.”
“I know.” “It is seven-thirty.” Silence. Hauwa narrowed her eyes. Se’ad spoke softly“Seven-thirty?” A head slowly emerged from beneath the blanket. Se’ad's hair was everywhere.
Her face was bare, her long lashes making her already prominent cat-shaped eyes appear even larger in the morning light. Without makeup, the softness of her features was more obvious—the delicate pointed nose, naturally pink lips and the small beauty mark close to her cheek that Hauwa constantly teased her about. She blinked sleepily. “Seven-thirty?” Hauwa replied “Yes.”
Se’ad sat up so quickly the blanket fell from her shoulders. “WHAT?” Hauwa burst out laughing.“I told you!” “You said seven!”
“I said seven-thirty!”
“Why didn't you wake me earlier?”
“I did!”
“You didn't!” “I called your name four times!” Se’ad glared.Hauwa smiled innocently. “Good morning.” Se’ad mufed “You're wicked.”
“I know.”Hauww laughed
---
Their mornings were often like that. Chaotic. Loud. Unnecessarily dramatic. But somewhere between the arguments, laughter and hurried preparations, there was comfort.Hauwa had changed too. Or perhaps Se’ad was simply beginning to understand her sister better.
They still fought. Hauwa still annoyed her more than anyone else on earth.
But the distance between them had softened.
There were now evenings when they sat together and talked about everything. Campus gossip. Lecturers, Clothes, People they disliked and People Hauwa claimed were secretly in love with her. “You know that boy from our faculty?” Hauwa asked one afternoon. Se’ad looked up from her notes. “Which one?”
“The tall one.” se’ad looked at her “Half the boys here are tall.”
hauwa scuffed “The one with the black Prado.”
Se’ad frowned. “You have to be more specific.”
Hauwa laughed. “The one who thinks I'm his girlfriend.”
Se’ad stared. “Again?”
“I never told him I was his girlfriend.” “You didn't correct him either.”Why would I waste my energy?” Se’ad shook her head. “You're shameless.” Hauwa laughed “Thank you.”
“That wasn't a compliment.” “I know.”
---
Some afternoons, they went shopping together.
Nothing extravagant. Just the kind of random outings that started with: “I need one thing.”
And somehow ended with three bags each. One Saturday, they left the hostel intending to buy toiletries.
Two hours later, Se’ad was holding a new handbag, two scarves, a pair of sandals and a small perfume bottle. She stared at everything in disbelief. “Hauwa.” “Yes?” “We came here for toothpaste. Hauwa looked at her own shopping bags. “And?” Se’ad laughed. “You're a bad influence.”
Hauwa replied “You're the one who bought half of this.” Se’ad “Because you encouraged me!”
“I'm your sister. It's my duty.” Se’ad rolled her eyes. But she was smiling.
The afternoon sun caught the smoothness of her complexion as they walked back, her long black hair tucked beneath her scarf, the hem of her abaya moving lightly around her ankles. She had always been conscious of her height. At barely five-foot-five, she sometimes complained that Allah had forgotten to add a few more inches.
Hauwa, considerably taller and fuller, never allowed her to forget it.
“Walk faster, small girl.”
I'm not small.”
“You're tiny.”
“I hate you.”
“No, you don't.”
Se’ad smiled.
Perhaps she didn't.
---
Her family remained a constant presence. Mama called almost every evening. Sometimes the conversations lasted ten minutes. Sometimes forty. Sometimes Mama simply wanted to know whether her daughters had eaten.
“Kin ci abinci?” “Yes, Mama.”
“Me kika ci?” Se’ad hesitated. “Rice.” “With what?” She smiled. “Meat. Mama sighed.
“Se’ad, kullum rice da nama. You will not eat vegetables?” “I ate vegetables yesterday.” “Yesterday isn't today.” Hauwa shouted from across the room, “Mama, tell her!”
“I heard you!” Se’ad yelled. Mama laughed. “Ku biyu dai, kullum kuna rigima.” They both smiled.
Then Mama's voice softened. “Allah ya kiyaye ku.” “Amin.” “kuna karatu fah .” “I will.”
“Don't leave everything until examination week.” Se’ad looked at the pile of untouched notes beside her. “Of course.” Mama was silent for a moment. “Se’ad.” “Hm?” “Are you really okay?”
The question caught her off guard. She looked down. “Yes, Mama”. “ Are you sure?” “Yes.”
Mama exhaled. “Alhamdulillah.” Se’ad smiled.
She knew her mother was still watching her carefully. Still remembering.
Still worried that the girl who had returned home broken months earlier might still be somewhere inside her. But Se’ad truly believed she was better now. She had learned to live again.
And perhaps that was enough.
---
Abba's calls were different. He rarely asked emotional questions. Instead, he asked practical ones. “How is school?” “Fine.” “Your fees?” “Paid.” Then: “Your examination?” she replied “Next month.” “Good.” Then, after a pause:
Sometimes she could hear the faint background noise of his office or the movement of people around him. Other times, he called from the car.
And whenever Labeeb was nearby, the conversation was immediately hijacked. “Se’ad!”
“Bibi!” “Look what Abba bought me!” “Abba bought you again?” “Yes!” Abba's voice came from the background. “Leave the boy.” Se’ad laughed. “You spoil him. “He's my son.”
“So?” “So nothing.” Labeeb laughed triumphantly. Se’ad could practically see the mischievous grin on his face. “Bibi, don't finish all the chocolate.” “I won't.”
“You will.” Abba laughed. And Se’ad smiled.
These little things had become precious to her. Perhaps healing wasn't dramatic after all. Perhaps it was simply being able to laugh at Labeeb's nonsense again.
---
And then there was Nass. Always somewhere.
Never entirely absent. Sometimes he sent a snap at noon. Sometimes at midnight. Sometimes he disappeared for hours. other times he appeared with a photograph so random that Se’ad wondered whether his brain functioned normally. He was becoming less of a mystery. But not entirely. He still had secrets.
A lot of them.
And Se’ad had decided not to force him to reveal them. She wanted to discover them naturally.
---
One evening, they were talking. Nothing serious.
Just teasing each other. Then Se’ad suddenly typed: “Can I get a selfie?” His reply: “Again?”
She typed: “Yes.” a notification cane through: “Why?” She rolled her eyes “Because I asked nicely.” A few seconds later, a snap arrived. She opened it. Blurred. Again. She burst out laughing. “Haha. Very funny.” He replied: Thank you.
“Nasib, stop playing. Send me properly.” A sticker appeared. A cartoonish dark-skinned man wearing black sunglasses. Se’ad stared at it. Then burst into uncontrollable laughter.
NASIBBBB 😭😭
Another message came.
What?
She typed:
I'm going to bite you some day.
His reply came almost instantly. “Careful there. I might just like it.” Se’ad covered her face. “Ya Allah!” The confidence and sheer lack of shame.
She laughed so hard her stomach hurt. But then, perhaps because she was feeling unusually brave that evening, she typed: “Come to me then.” She stared at the words. Her heart thumped. Did I really just say that? His reply appeared. “That's actually something I see myself doing.” Her heart skipped. Then typed:
“And what exactly are you waiting for?”No reply.
She smiled.Maybe he had finally been silenced.
She put her phone aside. Then went back to studying. At least, she tried.
---
Two hours later—
Her phone vibrated. Three snaps.She glanced at the screen. Nass💵 She smiled. “Finally.”
She opened the first And immediately frowned.
A vast stretch of green unfolded across the screen. It was beautiful. Almost unreal.
A large field covered in perfectly maintained grass stretched toward the horizon, the blades glowing beneath the soft afternoon sun. The grounds were immaculate. Beyond them were scattered trees, their branches moving gently in the breeze. A white fence curved elegantly around part of the field.
There was something peaceful about the place. Something expensive. The kind of quiet beauty that suggested maintenance cost more than most people could imagine. At one side stood what looked like an equestrian facility.
Se’ad narrowed her eyes. Horse riding? She looked again. Then opened the second snap.
Her heart stopped. For a second, she genuinely forgot to breathe. The photograph appeared to have been taken from above.
She could see the lower part of a man standing on something—perhaps a mounting platform.
White riding boots. white trousers.And in front of him— a woman. Se’ad stared. The girl had deep chocolate skin. A beautiful oval face.Large, striking eyes. A tiny, perfectly pointed nose. Full lips.
Her hair looked flawless beneath what appeared to be a carefully styled wig. She was dressed in proper horse-riding attire. Elegant. Expensive.
Effortless. She stood beside a horse as though she had done it a thousand times. And something about the way she carried herself made it obvious that this was not her first visit to a stable.
Se’ad's fingers went cold. She stared at the screen.The room suddenly felt too quiet.She looked around. Then back at the phone. “No…”
Her voice was barely audible. She swallowed.
“No.” The ground seemed to tilt beneath her.
She sat down. Her hands were trembling.
The words escaped before she could stop them.“Not again.” she screamed “Nooo.” She stared at the girl. Who was she? Why was she there?
Why had Nass sent this?
And why—
why did something inside her already feel afraid of the answer?
She opened the third snap. And everything became even more confusing.
A horse. A magnificent golden-brown horse stood a few steps ahead, its coat gleaming beneath the sunlight. Its mane was dark and neatly groomed. Its head was held proudly.
Beautiful. Powerful. Expensive.Se’ad stared.
Then she noticed something else. The horse wasn't alone. There was another rider.
A woman seated elegantly on a dark-brown horse. The same woman. Her posture was effortless. Confident. Almost graceful enough to make the entire scene look like something from a luxury equestrian magazine. Se’ad's stomach dropped. She slowly lowered the phone. Her mind was racing. What the hell? This wasn't a restaurant. This wasn't an office and certainly wasn't another expensive car. This was a completely different world. And suddenly, the little pieces Nass had shown her began rearranging themselves.
There was clearly more to him than she had imagined. Much more.
But the question that frightened her wasn't about his money. It was the girl. Who was she? A sister? A friend? A colleague? Someone from his past? Or—
Se’ad swallowed. Someone special?
She hated that the thought even crossed her mind. She opened the second snap again. Stared at the girl. Then at the black riding boots.
Then at the horse. Then at the surroundings.
Her chest tightened. For months, she had been asking herself who Nasib Wali really was.
Now, for the first time, she wondered whether she had been asking the wrong question. Maybe the question wasn't— Who is Nasib?
Maybe it was— What kind of life does Nasib live? And could a girl like Se’ad ever belong in it? She looked down at her simple room.
Her books, notes and her scarf lying beside her.
Her ordinary university life. Then back at the picture. A strange fear settled over her. Not jealousy. Not yet. Something deeper. Uncertainty.
Because perhaps Nasib wasn't merely a mysterious man with an interesting life.
Perhaps he belonged to a world she had only been seeing through the narrowest crack in a door.
And now— someone had opened that door just a little wider.
Se’ad picked up her phone again. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard. She wanted to ask.
Who is she? She wanted to demand an explanation. She wanted to pretend she hadn't cared and just to laugh it off.
Instead, she simply stared at the three snaps.
And one thought refused to leave her mind. Who the hell was Nasib Wali?
And more importantly— who was the beautiful girl standing in his world? Because if Se’ad had learned anything about Nass💵 over the past few months, it was this: Whenever he chose to reveal something— there was always something else hidden behind it.