The girl in the field

For several seconds, the phone remained suspended between trembling fingers.The third snap had already disappeared. The horse. That beautiful golden-brown horse with its glossy coat and proud head. 

And before it— Her. The Chocolate skin elegant postured girl . A perfectly fitted riding outfit. A small, pointed nose. Beautiful oval eyes lifted toward the camera, her hair falling flawlessly around her shoulders.

Beautiful. Too beautiful.The kind of beautiful that made comparison feel inevitable. Se’ad swallowed. The room suddenly seemed warmer “Not again…” The words escaped in a whisper. “No.” A hand pressed against her chest. This couldn’t be happening. Not again. Not after everything. Not after finally convincing herself that love didn’t have to arrive carrying the same pain as the last one.

The phone screen went dark. For a moment, there was nothing but the quiet hum of the fan overhead. Then it lit up again. Nass💵 is typing…

Her heart nearly stopped. The message arrived. “You disappeared.” A long breath escaped. The fingers hovered over the keyboard. Then: “I saw the snaps.”. Three dots appeared almost instantly. “And?” The simplicity of that reply almost made her angry. And? That was all?A beautiful mystery woman appeared on a horse in the middle of nowhere, and the man responsible had the audacity to ask and? Se’ad typed. Who is she?” Then his reply came. “Who?”  A disbelieving laugh escaped.“Really the girl?”  Another message followed.“The girl” A few seconds. What girl? Se’ad stared at the screen. This man was impossible. “Nasib!!”. His response came with a laughing emoji. “Yes, Se’ad?”  The smile disappeared from her face. He knew exactly what she meant. The girl on the horse. This time, the typing indicator stayed for longer. Then: “Ah. Her.”  Just her? Something twisted unpleasantly inside Se’ad’s stomach.“Yes. Her” Another pause. Then: “Why?” The question was innocent enough. But somehow it felt dangerous. “Why?”Because she was beautiful. Because Nassib had never mentioned her Because that photograph had awakened a fear Se’ad had spent months trying to bury.  Because, somewhere between late-night conversations and ridiculous Spider-Man arguments, Nassib had quietly become importantt. Far more important than intended. The answer came slowly. “Nothing. Just asking.”  A few seconds passed. Then: “You sure?”  She looked away from the screen “Yes” A reply came almost immediately.“You’re lying.” A small smile appeared despite everything. Typical Nassib. Always somehow noticing what wasn’t said. “Maybe I’m curious.”  “You’re very curious.”he replied   sead replied “And you’re very secretive.”  His response: “Fair.”  That was it. No explanation. No name. No context.Just fair. Se’ad dropped the phone onto the bed “Wallahi, this man will finish me” 

The next morning arrived with the ordinary chaos of university life.Lectures. Assignments. Hauwa complaining about something that had happened in class. A roommate shouting from across the room. The smell of noodles from somewhere down the corridor. Life continued with an almost insulting normality. Yet beneath it all, the previous night’s image remained.

There was no legitimate reason to feel threatened.  Nasib had never promised anything. Neither had Se’ad. Whatever existed between them was still unnamed.A beautiful, dangerous little thing suspended somewhere between friendship and something neither had been brave enough to define. So why did one photograph hurt?

Perhaps because healing had created the illusion of safety. Perhaps because the heart, once broken, became suspicious of happiness. Or perhaps because a tiny part of Se’ad had already begun imagining what it would feel like to be chosen. And that thought was frightening.

“Se’ad!” The door flew open. Hauwa entered carrying two shopping bags and wearing the expression of someone who had just survived a personal war.“Come and see what happened to me.”Se’ad looked up. “What happened?”“Nothing happened. That’s the problem. I spent almost two hours looking for one particular shoe, and when I finally found it, the woman told me the size was finished.” A laugh escaped her mouth. “Then why did you buy all those things? Hauwa looked down at the bags “Because I’m not leaving a shopping trip empty-handed.” “Ajebo princess.”“Don’t start.” That only made the laughter louder. Hauwa dropped onto the bed. For a while, the conversation moved to clothes, campus gossip, lecturers and an upcoming event. Normal comforting things. The kind of ordinary conversation Then Hauwa’s eyes narrowed.“Why are you smiling at your phone?” The smile vanished.“I’m not.” hauwa leaned in close “You are.”. “No.” Hauwa leaned closer.  “Who is it?”. “No one.” se’ad said turning off her phone.   Hauwa laughed “Ah-ah. So there is somebody.”. “There’s nobody.”

“Then why are you blushing?”. “I am not blushing!” Hauwa burst into laughter.  “Wallahi, you’re finished.” “Please get out Hauwa.  “No.” “Hauwa! “Okay, okay.” She stood, still laughing. But before leaving, she turned around. “Whatever it is, don’t forget yourself.” The teasing expression disappeared for a brief second. That was the closest Hauwa ever came to giving serious advice without wrapping it in sarcasm “People are not always what they seem. Se’ad’s smile faded. For a moment, those words felt strangely deliberate. Then Hauwa walked out. 

That evening, another snap arrived.  Nass💵A photograph of a cup of coffee. Nothing unusual.Then another. A road disappearing beneath the evening sky. Then a message: “You’re quiet today.” Se’ad stared at it then typed “Busy”  His reply came: “Liar.”  she smiled “How do you know?” Because your replies are shorter. He noticed everything. Even the smallest changes.Then she replied “Maybe I’m tired.” His next message came after a moment. “Then rest.”Simple. No pressure. No questions. No demand for attention. Something softened inside her “Goodnight, Sugar.” His reply came almost instantly. “Goodnight, gorgeous “ The smile on her face stayed long after the screen went dark.

A week passed. Then another. The second-semester examination drew closer and lectures became more intense, revision timetables appeared on walls, and the hostel gradually transformed into a miniature examination camp.

Hauwa became impossible, Notes everywhere, Past questions on the bed. Sleep sacrificed for topics that would probably not even appear. Se’ad tried to maintain balance. There was school, Family,Prayers.Calls with Mama. Occasional conversations with Abba. And Nassib. Always somewhere in the background. Never demanding the centre. Yet somehow always present.

One afternoon, Mama called.

“Ya Se’ad?”

“I’m here, Mama.”

“How is school?”

“Alhamdulillah.”

“Are you eating?”

“Yes.”

Mama became suspiciously quiet.

“Why did you pause?”

A laugh escaped.

“Because you always ask that.”

“Because you always forget.”

“Mama, wallahi I’m eating.”

“Good. And Hauwa?”

“She’s here.”

“Put her on the phone.”

“Mama!”

“Put her on.”

Hauwa appeared beside her with a dramatic sigh.

“Mama, I’m studying.”

“Studying what? Your voice?”

Se’ad burst out laughing.

Hauwa rolled her eyes.

“See what I have to deal with?”

Mama laughed from the other end.

For those few minutes, everything felt normal.

Safe.

Home.

After the call ended, Se’ad remained quiet for a while.

There had been a time when happiness felt dangerous. Now, perhaps, happiness was slowly becoming ordinary again. Until Nassib sent another message. “Can I ask you something?” 

Se’ad replied: Of course.

A pause.

Then he asked “Do you trust me?”  The question landed differently. No teasing.

No emoji.