BENEATH THE DENIAL
ZAYD ARMAAN
CHAPTER FIFTY SIX:56
BENEATH THE DENIAL
JIDDAAH BARKUM
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Mommy Hauwa ta sauke wani nannauyan numfashi, sannan a hankali ta sake sa hannayenta biyu ta kamo Seeyama. Cikin wata irin muryar rarrashi mai cike da sanyi, ta zaunar da ita sosai kusa da ita.
“Ehh, Seeyama… an ɗaura masa aure,” Mommy Hauwa ta faɗa a hankali.
Ta ɗan dakata, tana kallon yadda hawaye suke zuba daga idanun Seeyama, kafin ta ƙara da cewa:
“Kuma yanzu da kike ganina nan, daga gidansu yarinyar muke.”
Seeyama ta buɗe baki a hankali, amma babu wata kalma da ta iya fitowa. Kawai ta zuba wa Mommy Hauwa idanu, kamar wadda ke ƙoƙarin fahimtar abin da kunnuwanta suka ji.
“Aure…?” Ta maimaita cikin raɗa-raɗa.
Mommy Hauwa ta ɗan gyada kai.
“Ehh, darling.”
Seeyama ta sauke idanunta ƙasa, hawaye suka sake gangarowa. Ta girgiza kai a hankali kamar wadda take ƙin yarda da gaskiyar.
“Amma… Mommy…” Muryarta ta karye. “Yaya zai yi aure? Yaya zai aure ta alhalin… alhalin an ce ni ce—”
Ta kasa ƙarasa maganar.
Mommy Hauwa ta matse hannunta.
“Seeyama, listen to me.”
Ta ɗan dakata, sannan ta sauke muryarta ƙasa sosai, idanunta cike da stern seriousness.
“Listen to me very attentively, Seeyama.”
A take Seeyama ta tsaya cak.
Gaba ɗaya jikinta ya daskare, tamkar an ɗaure ta a wajen. Idanunta suka sauka a kan Mommy Hauwa, bakinta a buɗe saboda tsananin tashin hankalin da kalaman suka jefa ta. A wannan lokacin, numfashinta ya kusa tsayawa, zuciyarta kuwa tana mata wani irin mahaukacin duka da zafi.
Ganin yadda duk ta fita daga nutsuwarta ya sa Mommy Hauwa sake matse hannayenta, tana ƙoƙarin kwantar mata da hankali.
“Look at me, my darling,” ta faɗa tare da yi mata wani sanyayyan murmushin kwantar da hankali.
Seeyama ta ɗago idanunta a hankali.
“Your wedding with Zayd is still happening on Friday. Babu fashi!”
Ta faɗa da ƙarfi kaɗan, kamar tana son ta tabbatar mata da abin da take faɗa.
“Niyyar Inno tana nan, kuma babu abin da ya sauya akan zancen aurenku.”
Seeyama ta yi shiru. Kawai ta kalli Mommy Hauwa, kamar wadda ba ta gama processing ɗin abin da ta ji ba.
“Amma… ya riga ya auri wata,” ta furta cikin rawar murya.
Mommy Hauwa ta yi saurin girgiza kai.
“Marriage ɗin da aka yi bai canza komai ba game da naki auren.”
“Amma Mommy—”
“Seeyama.”
Muryar Mommy Hauwa ta sake ɗaukar wani irin authority.
“Trust me.”
Ta ɗan shafa gefen kumatunta.
“Everything is still under control.”
Seeyama ta lumshe idanunta, hawaye suka sake zubo mata.
Mommy Hauwa ta ɗan karkata kanta, fuskarta na ɗauke da wata irin girman kai da jin kamar kowa a ƙasanta yake.
“Kuma kinsan kalar yarinyar da ya aura kuwa?”
Ta saki wata ɗan gajeruwar dariyar takaici.
“She’s completely beneath you, Seeyama!”
Seeyama ta ɗan ɗago kai.
“A poor, obscure girl from a totally local background… Gidansu fa? Wani matsiyacin gida ne mara tsari a can ƙuryar unguwa.”
Ta ɗan ɗaga gira, tana kallon Seeyama kai tsaye.
“She has absolute nothing to offer him!”
“Ba ta da ajin da za ta yi standing a matsayin rival ɗinki, let alone take your place in Zayd’s life.”
Seeyama ta share hawayenta da sauri, amma duk da kalaman Mommy Hauwa, wani irin zafi ya ci gaba da cin zuciyarta.
“Amma ya aure ta…” ta furta a hankali.
Mommy Hauwa ta yi murmushi mai sanyi.
“Let him.”
Ta ɗan matsa kusa da ita.
“Being married to her doesn’t mean she’s important to him.”
Ta shafi fuskar Seeyama tana sake ƙarfafa mata gwiwa.
“So don’t waste your tears over someone who isn’t even on your level.”
Ta ɗan ɗaga haɓarta.
“Ke ce asalin matar Zayd, Seeyama.”
Seeyama ta yi shiru na ƴan seconds.
Kalaman sun kama ta a wani ɓangare, amma ba su iya kashe wutar da ke ci a zuciyarta ba.
A maimakon zuciyarta ta kwanta, sai ma wani irin mugun takaici da ambaliyar kishi suka sake turnuke ta.
Ta fisge hannayenta daga riƙon da Mommy Hauwa ta yi mata.
“Amma Mommy…”
Ta tsaya, numfashinta yana rawa.
“Idan har ba komai ba ne… why does it hurt this much?”
Mommy Hauwa ta ɗan yi shiru.
Seeyama ta girgiza kai, hawaye suka sake zubo mata.
“Me ya sa nake jin kamar komai ya ƙare?”
Mommy Hauwa ta buɗe baki za ta yi magana, amma Seeyama ba ta jira amsar ba.
Ta ja baya, tana shessheƙa da wani irin ɓacin rai.
Kafin Mommy Hauwa ta samu damar riƙe ta, Seeyama ta ruga gudu ta doshi matakala, ta nufi upstairs zuwa ɗakinta.
“Seeyama!”
Mommy Hauwa ta kira ta da ƙarfi.
Amma Seeyama ba ta waiwayo ba.
Ta bi ta da kallo kawai, tana kallon bayanta har sai da ta ji ƙarar rufe ƙofar ɗakin da wata irin amsa kuwwa mai ƙarfi.
Mommy Hauwa ta yi shiru.
Ta jingina da sofa, ta sauke numfashi a hankali.
Bayan ya fito daga motar, Zayd ya doshi cikin gidan da nutsuwarshi ta ko yaushe, sai dai duk da ba mai fara’a ba ne dama can, amma yau fuskarsa ta fi kullum a murtuke take, babu ko alamar wasa; tsantsar ɓacin rai da takaici ne suka mamaye fuskarsa, ƙirjinsa na tashi yana sauka da ƙarfi, yayin da hannunsa ɗaya ya matse a hankali kamar yana ƙoƙarin danne fushin da ke tafasa a zuciyarsa.
Directly, ya wuce ɓangaren Ummie.
A lokacin, Ummie tana tsaye a tsakiyar ɗakinta tana linke veil ɗin da ta dawo da shi daga gidan Baffa.
Ya yi knocking a hankali.
“Shigo,” Ummie ta amsa daga ciki, ba tare da ta juyo ba saboda ta zaci ɗaya daga cikin ƴan aikin gidan ne.
Zayd ya tura ƙofar ya shiga, sannan ya ƙarasa kusa da ita.
Sensing his strong presence, Ummie ta juyo.
Kallo guda ta yi masa, ta gane akwai babbar damuwa damƙare a fuskarsa. Ba fushi kaɗai ba ne take gani a idanunsa; akwai takaici, ruɗani da wani irin ciwo da yake ƙoƙarin ɓoyewa a bayan wannan tsaurin fuskar tasa.
With a worried look on her face, ta ajiye mayafin da ke hannunta da sauri.
Ta matso kusa da shi, hannayenta suka kama nasa biyu, tana ƙoƙarin haɗa idanunsa da nata.
“What’s wrong, habibi?”
Zayd bai amsa nan take ba.
Ya zuba mata waɗancan lumsasshun idanunsa masu zurfi, amma a wannan karon babu kwarjinin da aka saba gani a cikinsu. Idanunsa sun yi nauyi, kamar mutum ne da ke fama da wani abu da ya fi ƙarfinsa.
Ya ja dogon numfashin, amma numfashin bai sauke masa nauyin da ke ƙirjinsa ba.
Ya haɗiye yawu da ƙyar kafin muryarsa mai sanyi da zurfi ta fito:
“Ummie… me ya sa za a haɗa ni da yarinyar can without my consent?”
Ya ɗan juya fuskarsa gefe, kamar ba ya son ta ga irin yadda maganar ta taɓa shi. Sai ya sake kallonta, idanunsa suka ƙara cika da takaici.
“Bana son auren nan… and you know this, Ummie! You know I don’t have any feelings for her!”
A ƙarshen maganar muryarsa ta ɗan karye.
Ummie ta yi shiru.
Ta kalle shi na ƴan seconds, kafin ta ɗan matsa kusa da shi. Hannunta ɗaya ta ɗaga zuwa gefen fuskarsa, ta shafa shi a hankali kamar yadda uwa ke kwantar da hankalin ɗanta.
“Habibi…”
Muryarta ta yi laushi sosai.
“Ka kalle ni…”
Sai ta ɗan matsa masa hannunsa, tana neman ya maida hankalinsa gare ta.
A hankali ta ja hannunsa ta ƙarasa gaban sofa da shi.
Ta zauna, sannan ta zaunar da shi a gefenta. Duk da yadda jikinsa ya nuna tsananin damuwa, Ummie ba ta sake hannunsa ba. Ta riƙe shi sosai, tana shafa bayan tafin hannunsa da babban yatsanta a hankali.
Ta kalle shi cikin tausayawa ta fara bayani:
“Habibi, look at me…” ta faɗa cikin lallashi da sanyi. “Haka Inno ta yanke wannan hukuncin. Kuma ita da kanta ta gargaɗe mu akan kar a sanar maka har sai komai ya kammala. Sanin kanki ne sarai, Zayd… ba zan iya ja da Inno ba. Whatever she decides in this family stays, and you know how much weight her words carry.”
Zayd ya sauke idanunta ƙasa.
Ƙirjinsa ya sake bubbugawa.
Ya buɗe baki kamar zai yi magana, amma sai ya yi shiru.
Ummie ta lura da hakan.
Ta matsa kusa da shi, ta kama hannunsa da hannayenta biyu.
“I know you’re angry…”
Ta ɗan dakata.
“And I know you feel betrayed because nobody asked you.”
Ta shafa hannunsa a hankali.
“But please, habibi… ka yi haƙuri.”
Ta ƙara damƙe hannayensa cikin nata, idanunta cike da roƙo da alhini.
“I know this is hard for you, but please… kayi haƙuri. Kayi accepting auren nan saboda ni, da kuma mahaifinka. Don Allah, Zayd, kar ka nuna ba ka son auren nan a gaban Inno. Do this for me, my son… just for my sake.”
Zayd ya lumshe idanunsa.
Kalaman Ummie suka sauka a kansa tamkar wani nauyayan dutse.
Adam’s apple ɗinsa ya fara hawa yana sauka a hankali, yayin da ya matse leɓensa, yana ƙoƙarin haɗiye duk wata magana da take son kubuce masa.
Hannunsa ya ɗan saki a cikin nata.
Ya dafe goshinsa da ɗaya hannunsa, ya sauke ajiyar zuciya mai nauyi.
“Ummie…”
Muryarsa ta fito a hankali, cike da gajiyawa.
“I don’t even know what to do anymore.”
Ummie ta ji kalmar ta taɓa zuciyarta.
Nan take ta janyo shi kusa da ita.
“Shhh… habibi.”
Ta ɗora hannunta a kansa.
“Kar ka damu. Komai zai yi daidai, in sha Allah.”
Zayd bai sake magana ba.
Kawai ya bari ta janyo shi jikinta.
A hankali, ta ɗora kansa a kan shoulder ɗinta, ta rungume shi sosai kamar yadda ta saba yi tun yana ƙarami.
Hannunta ya fara shafar bayansa a hankali, daga kafaɗarsa zuwa bayansa, cikin wani irin lallashi mai cike da tsantsar soyayyar uwa.
“Ka bar komai yanzu,” ta raɗa masa.
“Just breathe…”
Ta sake shafa bayansa.
Zayd ya lumshe idanunsa gam a jikinta.
A wannan karon, duk ƙarfinsa da tsaurin da ya saba nunawa babu.
Ya sauke ajiyar zuciya ɗaya.
Sai wata.
Ummie ta ci gaba da shafa bayansa ba tare da ta ce komai ba.
A ɓangaren Raihana kuwa, suna shiga falon Umma, Maryam ta janyo hannunta cikin sauri da tsantsar farin ciki. Ta ja ta kai tsaye zuwa cikin ɗakin Raihana, ta tura ƙofar ta rufe bam tare da sanya sakata.
Fuskarta na ɗauke da wani irin excitement mai ƙarfi, Maryam ta juyo tana kallon Raihana, tana girgiza kai da farin ciki.
“Ke Rayy! Kin kusa barin gidan nan wallahi!”
Ta faɗa tana murna, tana faɗaɗa murmushin fuskarta.
“An ce ba wani biki, nothing nothing! Kawai miƙa ki gidanki za a yi. Oh my God, da gaske dai kinyi aure! Wallahi Baffa ya ce nan da Thursday za a kai ki!”
Sai kuma cikin sakan guda, Maryam ta rage muryarta ƙasa sosai. Murmushin da ke fuskarta ya ɗan gushe, ta kalli Raihana da wani irin concerned expression.
“Amma abu ɗaya ne damuwata yanzu… wai auren da za a masa a gidansu dole ne? Shi ne kawai abin da ya dame ni.”
Raihana stayed completely still, staring blankly at Maryam.
Ba ta motsa ba ko kaɗan.
Idanunta suka yi zuru-zuru, kamar kalaman Maryam sun cire mata duk wani tunani daga kanta. Ta kasa cewa komai. Kwakwalwarta ta daskare gaba ɗaya, ta kasa sarrafa maganar.
Kamar ya jibi za ta tare?
Jibi fa?!
The reality was hitting her like a heavy blow, leaving her utterly numb.
Maryam ta lura da yadda Raihana ta yi tsit, ta kuma ga yadda laɓɓanta suka ɗan rabu ba tare da ta iya furta kalma ba.
Ganin yadda Raihana ta shiga damuwa ya sa Maryam ta ƙarasa kusa da ita, ta kama hannunta guda biyu tare da yi mata wani soothing gaze.
“I know this second marriage issue is disturbing you, Rayy. Amma kar ki ɗaga wa kanki hankali. Ke ma mace ce, za ki iya ƙwatar mijinki da dabarunki! Every woman has her own subtle tactics to win her man’s heart.”
Raihana ta wani ja baya, ta kalli Maryam da guntun tsaki.
“Mtswww!”
Ta harare ta gaba ɗaya, ta ɗaga gira ɗaya sama cikin wani irin kallon “Are you serious right now?”.
Fuskarta na cika da tsantsar takaici. Ta girgiza kai a hankali, tana jin haushin ma maganar da Maryam ta yi mata.
Kalamanta suka fara fitowa bitterly, cike da wani irin mugun haushi da ɗaci.
“Na ce miki na damu da shi ne balle wani auren nashi?!” ta faɗa a fusace, muryarta na rawa saboda fushi. “Allah ya sa a aura masa duk mata Kaduna a jibin! Wallahi ko a jikina, that’s completely none of my business!”
Ta ƙwace hannunta daga na Maryam, sannan ta fara pacing a tsakiyar ɗakin, tana kaiwa da komowa cikin rashin nutsuwa.
Fuskarta a murtuke take, hannayenta kuma suna motsawa lokaci-lokaci yayin da take ƙoƙarin fitar da abin da ke damunta.
“Matsala ta ɗaya ne: me ya sa Baffa zai ce na tare jibi?”
Ta tsaya cak, ta juyo wajen Maryam.
“Kamar dai ya gaji da ni!”
Muryarta ta ɗan karye, amma ta yi saurin haɗiye abin da ke maƙale a maƙogwaronta.
“Ai sai su ce ba a so na… daga zuwansu fa ya ɗaura musu aurena, kuma yanzu a ce na tare ba shiri?”
Ta ɗan buɗe hannayenta biyu cikin takaici.
“Kamar dama neman kai yake da ni!”
Ta faɗa tana karkata kanta gefe guda, kafin ta sauke idanunta ƙasa.
Wani irin ciwo ya ɗanƙare ƙirjinta.
Hawayen takaici suka taru a idanunta, amma ta yi saurin lumshe su, tana ƙoƙarin hana su subucewa.
Ba maganar aure kaɗai ce ke damunta ba.
Abin da ya fi ci mata tuwo a ƙwarya shi ne yadda komai yake faruwa ba tare da an ba ta damar shirya kanta ba.
Kamar ba ita ce za ta bar gidan da ta saba da shi ba.
Kamar dai an yanke komai a kanta, ita kuma babu abin da za ta iya cewa.
Ta share gefen idonta da sauri, tana ƙoƙarin mayar da muryarta normal.
“Wallahi Maryam, ni ban fahimci wannan auren ba…”
Ta furta a hankali, muryarta ta ɗan yi ƙasa.
“Yanzu kawai sai aka ce Thursday?”
“Yaya zan shirya kaina cikin kwana ɗaya?”
Maryam ta yi shiru tana kallonta.
A wannan karon ma, babu abin da ta ce.
Domin a karon farko ta fahimci cewa a bayan duk wannan “ko a jikina” da Raihana ke faɗa…
Akwai wata zuciya da take tsoron abin da ke gabanta fiye da yadda take son ta nuna.
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