#14

he felt a bit at ease, as if things will be fine again like

"by Allah's will everything will be fine again!" a simple hopeful smile escaped his lips and at least it was genuine this time "Hang in a bit Anaya... we will make it to halal In-Shaa-Allah!" he added before placing his hands under his head

Meanwhile his comforter Zahra, sat on her bed well prepared for her book, joy and excitement brushing her a lot, her heart carrying heavy pain and grief yet she finds happiness in little things ... books.. kids... gardens.. simple but happy always

She opened the book with excitement today as if she didn't deny it when he gave it at first, remembering how stubborn and nervous she was when he gave that book made her smile and feel the taste of her silliness 

"you are so silly Zahra... and clumsy!" she said to herself 

The first page of the book surprised her with a folded paper again, this time it was at the very beginning of the book and yes specifically to her the paper had her neatly written name as if he put all his focus in discipline when writing that name

ZAHRA a smirk escaped her lips, never in her life did she ever 

think her name would look that good on a piece of paper,,,, and the best part was when she read it.. in his tone the way he elongated the "a" at the end zahraaa

Her heart did a crazy flip, she could feel her cheeks' temperature rise, they turned red unknowingly

"subh-haana-Allah!.. Zahra what am I even doing... astaghfirullah!" she said to herself rearranging herself as if that would change her excitement

She unfolded her paper with a slight shake on her hands, then it came into vision again, his neat and beautiful handwriting

"everything about this man is..." she bit her lips before she could finish her sentence, she turned her mind to the poem before her

The definition of beauty starts with her name

anyone would lose himself in her beauty

her eyes feels like an endless ocean

that I want to drown into, 

without getting saved

The first day I saw her, I praised ALLAH a lot, for HE is the creator and designer of such beauty

the beauty that my mind has memorized with just one glare

The beauty that my soul makes prayers for

the beauty that have my heart yearning for

the endless beauty that would never fade ever

The beauty that came with it's space in my heart

the beauty that's hard to ignore, not for a moment

the beauty in her heart, soul even her face

if beauty is a name then it's hers

and if it's a person then it's her

she folded the paper back, placed it in the book as fast as she could, slummed the book closed, her heart was racing unstoppable this time

"subh-haana-Allah Zahra...it's just a poem... sleep now!" she told herself before laying on bed for the sleep that didn't come and neither is the reading mood 

"astagh-firullah....!" Her lips repeated the words several time

She knew where this was leading, and she wasn't ready for that yet, she covered herself completely with the bedsheets

"no... no... Zahra.. you are not doing this... you are not!" she told herself repeatedly but her heart and mind both knew she didn't mean the words

"this man is a manipulator I just know this for sure!" she swallowed hard

"I will forget this by tomorrow morning... I just know I will" she convinced herself hoping she will

"astagh-firullah!" she repeated several times again, before sleep took her over

---

He walked back and forth, confused and nervous at the very same moment

"I shouldn't have written her name,,... I just know she will get angry about that!" 

"No.... Waqas,... uuuh what did I do this time... uuuffff!" he sat on the edge on his bed

"writing the name means.... It was specifically for her.... Ooh my God... I swear it's not fine.... It's just not... like she will feel like I'm flirting with her... but I'm not... am i?"

"I'm a straight man,,,, and I know what I'm doing.... I mean.. I'm not flirting with her.... I just fell in love.... And that's not a sin is it?" he kept om convincing himself endlessly 

He dumped his upper body on bed

"maybe next time I should open up completely!" a mischievous smirk escaped his lips, aware of how bad he is destroying himself

---

the brighter son reached the inside of the Mirza mansion but still it didn't lighten the sad souls withing the walls

But somehow Yazid got to have a warm morning with the girls before he left for work earlier than before while Hania assigned herself to deliver the gift Yazid failed to hand over on his own to his own son

"morning son... are you in a hurry?" Said Hania after the salam exchange that came after she walked into Waqas' room

He turned back to his face bright enough, and a soft smile tagged along

"who is in a rush when it's about their mothers waleeda?" 

"well.. you are allowed to be" she retorted teasingly

"I know.... But in don't want to!" he retorted

Then Hania led herself to the bed sat there then patted the space beside her and he followed the silent instructions without questioning despite being confused and before he analysed the whole situation Hania placed a gift box on his laps

Waqas' gaze narrowed towards his mother questioning so hard without even saying a word, then his hand reached for the box "can I open it?" he asked 

Hania nodded, and with that Waqas opened the box, casually as it felt like a normal gift at first

As he opened it he saw a piece of fabric folded neatly, white in color a shawl and that's when it felt special

only his late grandfather Mr.Mirza used to gift him shawls

"A shawl!" a blissfully smirk escaped his lips "I mean.... Ooh..wow!... shukran... waleeda this reminded me of grandpa!" he muttered putting the box aside then held her hands together and kissed them

"i'm not the one who bought it!" her words cut through his excitement and that shocked him even more cause if it's not her then there could be only one person to do that, "is it him?" he asked in despair Hania nodded with smile 

"dad?... you mean my father... this Yazid Abba?" he questioned and once again she nodded, that made Waqas chuckle lightly confused knowing for sure he shouldn't be laughing 

"mmh... so he knows what these mean to me huh?" he asked knowing the answer

"yes he does!" she muttered blissfully

"he ...!" he touched the fabric " he even knows the color!"

"mmhhmm!"

"ooh Subh-haana-Allah!" he held his mouth blissfully "Wallahi this made my morning... I mean... Yazid Abba... bringing a Shawl for me... like this is not just something for me!" that satisfied the little kid in him without even his realization

"thank you!" he muttered pulling her into a hug

"you should be saying that to him!" she smiled, blinking away the tears

"I will... I will waleeda!" he muttered blissfully before releasing her from his hold

------

Waqas walked into the boardroom with Salim beside him as always, not as a bodyguard but as a supporter and assistant

Yazid's eyes scanned him, his expression unreadable, then he saw it a white Shawl on his black outfit shiny as new

He smiled secretly brief but Waqas noticed, that wasn't just a normal smile, it was a smile a person would give whenever a thing made them proud and happy at the same time

Waqas returned it with a simple fast smile too, before giving greetings to the present board members

"Assalaamu aleykum!"

"waaleykumusaalam!" the whole boardroom responded

"you are late Mr. Chairperson!" muttered Yazid

"you always have to do this... Yazid Abba!"

he glanced at his watch "or maybe you are too early Mr.Mirza!" he retorted with the same energy

both him and Salim took their respective seats

"Bismillah... let's start!" he ordered and the board members obeyed starting the conversations and discussions that bought them there

-

Saad chuckled "with this level of stubbornness... I'm not sure if Anaya will manage such a man!"

Aasif shot his father with that annoying but less threatening stare before he rolled his eyes off him without saying a single word

"look how love drives you crazy... loverboy!" he teased

"there you go again Mr. Khan!"

"by the way instead of being here at this time... I think you should have been talking to your mom!"

he smiled lazily the one that didn't reach his eyes 

"what if she still says no?" his tone and expression biot filled with sorrow and concern he couldn't manage to hide

"she will give it a thought that's what she told me.. that means there is hope now!"

"yaa Rab.. I hope she agrees!" he muttered rolling the chair his hands rubbing his face

"I did my part... the ball is in your court now!" 

"should I really talk to her now?.... I mean this time!"

"Aasif... she is your mother.. you can talk to her anytime you want!"

He jumped off the chair "I will go then... pray for me!" he muttered holding his phone

"May Allah help you through!" he prayed

"Amiyn!" muttered Aasif walking towards the door before he turned again to Saad who sat there watching him

"Thank you so much Abba... you are the best!" he smiled with his eyes too

"khuda Hafiz... drive safe!" muttered Saad with a polite smile on and with that Aasif walked away in a rush

-

She walked inside the classroom quietly and sat beside Naysal who gave her a questioning stare

"why... are you looking at me like that!"

Naysal didn't say a word she just shot her with that judging sharp gaze like a detective she wasn't 

she showed a piece of paper with a name on it ZAHRA 

"hey where did you get that!" she almost snatched it but Naysal was faster that

"where you placed it!" she muttered playfully

"Nay... give me that!"

"explain first... then I will give it back!"

"why were you checking my bag first of all?"

"I was looking for the notebook then as I took the novel book out... it fell... and the way your beautiful name was written it caught my attention!"

"okay... you read it?"

"no.. but I want to... I mean... if you permit me to!"

"your faithful trait didn't let you huh?.... okay then give it back!" she extended her hand waiting for the paper to be place there

"Zahraaa... let me read it please... please!"

"No... I want my privacy so it's a big No!" 

"privacy?... from who?... I can even tell the color of pants you're wearing right now!" she raised a brow 

"yeah.. but I need privacy in this one!"

"fine... take it!" she gave away the paper dramatically furious

"you can read... but don't judge me please... I beg!"

"I promise I won't!" she took the paper again opening it excitedly then a silence between them took over as Naysal read the poem quietly.... Her eyes widening in confusion, her lips smiling questioningly but confusedly

For every line she read she turned to Zahra, her lips parted words came but she swallowed them back, she promised not to judge so she won't after finishing she folded the paper slowly as if scared to tear it apart

Naysal stared at her friend in the shock she collected for the whole year, her eyes speaking words her tongue refused to, and the worse part is that she feels like she knows who wrote those letters without even having to ask

"ooh come on Naysal... you promised not to judge me!"

"Waqas?" she asked and Zahra nodded innocently lowering her head 

"for how long has this been going on?" 

"third time... remember when I told you I found a poem in the book he gave me.. and you said it might be a special thing from the author?"

Nay's eyes widened they were almost escaping the lids, she opened her mouth to speak but swallowed the words instead

"that's when it started... third time now... each book he gives have a poem.... Same handwriting... and this is more specific... he wrote the name on it!" Zahra explained herself

Excitement filled Nay's chest now like she wanted to know more so she should know if it's a safe ship or she should not let it take off

"mmh.... Okay... you mean... okay.. i... uuh!" she stuttered "I don't even know what to say... I mean.. this is it!"

"what?.. I mean what is it?"

"don't play dumb Zahra... this is love... I know love things at a first glance I mean.... Look he follows you behind all days in the name of protection?"

"yes....!"

"he brings you books... because you are a book girl" "he writes you love poems" blurted Naysal and all Zahra was doing is humming her back

"then what do you think is that?.... charity? Or?"

"ooh come on Naysal... you are taking this far!"

"mmh.. this!... this is why I say you behave differently when it is about him... are you into him?"

"Ssshhh!... Naysal what are you saying!"

"the fact... look when it was about Nawaz sir... I used to hear your laments all day long" she raised a brow 

"Nay I hate that man... he irritates me... I feel uncomfortable around him" she mimicked her 

"but I'm not hearing the same about Mr. follower now!" that came with a brow pull up that was too judgemental to be hidden

"ohh please... you are really overthinking it now...!

"okay... fine we will see to it then!"

"there is nothing to see there" she shot back as if secretly proving herself wrong 

--

After two rakaat of Dhuha Namaz Aasif led his way to his mother's room, for few minutes sweet talk maybe she would see how much he is into the wom she is strongly denying him from

"Aasif.... Did you even think about the future ... life with her?... have you?" she lamented instead of yelling this time

"I have mom... I know she isn't educated... but education isn't the standard I'm looking for in my woman,,, my heart wants her.... Otherwise there will be no me!" he pleaded

"Aasif...!

"mom please... I'm begging you because I can't do anything against your wish... please mother!"

"you know this is not what you deserve Aasif!"

"mom!" his tone came out politely, locking eyes with his 

An awkward silence took over none of them had words to say

Zulekha clearly saw the pain in her son's eyes.. for a moment she felt guilty as if she is the one causing that pain .. 

"does it hurt you that much Aasif?" she asked staring direct into his eyes

"more than this ....!" He muttered politely, a tear escaped his eye 

"Aasif!" she lamented affectionately

"I love her.... So much mom!" another tear

her hand reached to is cheek wiping away the tears "don't... don't punish your mother like this son!" she said softer this time, tears threatening

"I'm not punishing you mom... I'm just begging you!"

"with tears?... what could be a worst punishment for a mother then?"

"if you grant me your permission I promise you won't see no tear from me!"

"only that??"

"only that...!"

Another moment of an awkward silence before Zulekha broke it again, 

"fine.... You can marry her... if you love her that much!" she muttered half willingly half self-forcing but at least she agreed that's what matters the most

"really mom?.." he almost jumped off her

"yes...!"

"willingly?" a smile tagged along

"willingly... I would agree to anything that would bring back this precious smile...

he hugged her blissfully "thank you.... Thank... you!" he repeated as if not believing what was really going on

"anything for you son!" her smile showed too, hugging him back

"I swear I don't know how to repay you!"

"You don't have too.... Just be happy!" she patted his back affectionately

-------

She laid on her bed facing the ceiling as the soft hum of the widow pushed the curtains moving, a book opened and placed by her chest

"What if Naysal was saying the truth?" her mind screamed "No... it's not like that is it?... I mean I'm not into him... I just like his poems.. not him.. absolutely not him it's just the poems!" she muttered inwardly convincing herself 

"he is a good man though... I mean he...seems to be religious... he has a mannered gaze and it doesn't feel unsafe around him.... Like it feels safe.... Real safe when he is around!" she didn't know she was biting her finger as her mind had those lovely thoughts

she hurriedly sat upright "Astaghfirullah... Zahra what are you thinking... Subh-haana-Allah that's haram,,,,!" 

her palms pressed hard on her cheeks hardly brushing away the thoughts of him as she felt the warmth on her cheeks rising

"Astaghfirullah!" she whispered repeatedly hoping that would help to erase the thoughts of him

Meanwhile to the other side the guy sat on the cold floor papers spread all over the space surrounding him

"you are for sure turning me into a poet Zahraa isn't it?" his lips curved into a sweet smirk 

"my beautiful flower ... beautiful daisy.. Wallahi had it not been haram I would have never taken my eyes off you" he swallowed hard his hand stopped writing

"I'm just worried about how you will translate that poem... today you looked like you were ignoring me!" he paused "I hope you were not!" 

"anhaaaa Zahraaaa!" he smirked unknowingly "do you even know what you are doing to this crazy heart of mine?" 

"I'm not only in love.... I have lost it now... I'm going mad I swear!" he muttered holding his head helplessly lost 

And the same way one man was celebrating his in-love era thinking about that one girl, the very same way another man was grieving over the same innocent girl who unknowing took two men's sleep without even ding a thing

"do I really don't deserve you Zahraa!" he lamented his tone low, looking at plenty of pictures of her, only he knows where he got them

"is my love less Zahra..... did I really love you any less?" he laid his head on the table

"I'm not a bad person... I swear I'm not... I'm just in love..... Zahra I have loved you with all my mighty.... Since day one!" tears threatening

With all his masculinity, Nawaz shed tears today, for Zahra, for the woman he loved for so long, for the woman his heart has been praying for