THE DISCUSSION

Eyes: Ugh, can we stop already? I’m burning here. You’ve been staring at that glowing box since morning. I didn’t even rest until 3 am last night. Are we having another staring marathon today? There’s more to life than this… this glowing rectangle o. I’m dry as the Sahara, l feel like particles of sand are stuck to my cornea. AHHH! At least blink nau? I’m all red, I dey see double double. Ever heard of rest?

Brain: Just a few more minutes.

Eyes: YOU SAID THAT TWO HOURS AGO!

(Mouth Joins the Conversation)

Mouth: And don’t forget me! You keep shoving snacks in while scrolling. Chin-chin, biscuits, random bites of bread, akara and Pepsi, sheesh! I’m working overtime here, buddy; take a break! Chew slowly. You’re too busy doomscrolling to taste anything. I’m just a conveyor belt at this point. Chew, swallow, scroll. Repeat.

Eyes: At least you get something. All I get is screen glare and dry air. (sighs)

Mouth: Oh, please! You think cramming a whole biscuit in 0.3 seconds is a treat? I don’t even remember what a proper meal feels like. All this junk is really unhealthy, even for Teeth. I wonder how the stomach is faring. When he’s not binging on junk, he’s staying hungry all day while you're scrolling nonstop.

Brain: Ok, ok! I’ve heard you, Mouth; I’ll eat better for you today.

Mouth: You said that yesterday. And the day before. ( hisses in disbelief).

Ears: Ha! You two think you’ve got it bad? At least you don’t deal with the unending audio barrage. I’m drowning in sounds from reels, podcasts, and videos. My drums are tired of hearing “trending audio sounds” from late-night YouTube or TikTok binges. I can’t remember what tranquillity feels like anymore. If I hear one more sped-up remix of a pop song, I’ll …… I don’t know what I’ll do. (sighs dejectedly)

Eyes: I’ve even forgotten what it’s like to not stare at a screen for more than 30 minutes.

Ears: And it’s not just the phone. There’s a laptop, an iPad, and a TV playing in the background while he still scrolls. It’s a cacophony in here.

Mouth: Why not tune most of it out? Selective hearing, you know. (Sympathetically giving advice)

Ears: Must be easy for you to say. I DON’T HAVE A MUTE BUTTON! (Miffed that mouth gave advice for what he doesn’t understand)

Brain: Alright, calm down, guys. Hey Ear, how about some lo-fi beats, ya know, to calm you down.

Ears: THAT’S MORE NOISE, BRAIN! WHAT I NEED IS TIME OUT! PEACE AND QUIET! (Aggravated that the brain failed to understand what he wanted)

Nose: Excuse me? Hellooo? Does anyone remember I exist? ( Raises his hand to get noticed) I’ve been sitting here, waiting for my turn while you three argue back and forth. My problem is that I’m stuck here breathing the same stale air while you’re glued to the screen- sorry, screens. (“You’re” refers to the brain and subsequently the human owner). We’ve been cooped up in this room for the greater part of the week. I need fresh air, a chill breeze, not the smell of whatever snacks Mouth keeps inhaling. And honestly? Some of those crumbs lying around have gone stale. Like, seriously, clean up!

Eyes: Oh, right. You’re there. Welcome to the conversation, as if he will even hear a word. (Scoffs).

Nose: Yes. I’m always here. Breathing, keeping you guys alive. Can you please take a walk, Mr Okpokwi? (“Okpokwi” is a term Nose coined from the Igbo language, for the addiction to staring at the screen. In this case, it refers to the brain and subsequently the Human Owner.) Like “stop and smell the roses”, and I mean this literally. Lungs have been complaining too o. Says it’s tired of the smell of snacks, stuffy bedroom air, and dust particles.

Mouth: To be fair, that puff-puff we ate last week smelled nice and was really delicious.

Nose: CAN YOU BE SERIOUS FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE? We are talking about a serious matter here, and you’re telling me puff-puff smelled nice! (Gets angry at mouth.) How long do you want to entertain this mediocrity? (Faces Mouth with hands on his hips, admonishing him)

Mouth: Errr, sorry, my bad. Pele o.(Raised hands in apology)

Ears: This is serious, Mouth. We’re all suffering here, and we need it to stop. (All nod in agreement to Ear’s words)

Nose: I know I am the forgotten middle child of the face, but my role is very critical to everyone’s survival.

Brain: My brothers and sisters, pardon me. Calm down, nnu? You know what, nose? I’ll take you for a walk early tomorrow morning. Clean fresh air, you’ll breathe in as much as your heart desires.

Nose: All these empty promises, I’ve heard them all. But this time I no go gree. (Scoffs)

Eyes: Me too! I won’t fall for your empty promises. We need rest, and we need it NOW!. Close me for a while, biko. Let me rest. (Squinting annoyingly at brain)

Mouth: Yeah, me too! Let me relax without another midnight snack. My jaw is tired. My taste buds are bored. If you must eat, try a well-prepared home-cooked meal or something similar for a change. Give me a glass of water, too, while you’re at it.

Ears: Me, I need silence for once! Leave that phone alone; I don’t want to hear pim for at least 1 hour. No podcasts or music, even.

Nose: Look, we are serious here. Do you want to rot away? See, brain rot is real, o. Abi, you want to die early!

Brain: Oya, “wait, let me just finish this one video.” (Still engrossed in scrolling on YouTube).

All Four Together: BRAIN. PLEASE!

Brain : (sighing) Fine! You win. Mchew! (Drops the phone on the bed and moves to the workspace, proceeds to open the laptop )

Eyes: Really? (watches in disbelief)

Brain: Really. Let me just…

Eyes: DON’T. EVEN. SAY IT. (hands ball into a fist, incensed)

Brain: Ah, ah, calm down… let me just send a quick email.

All Organs Together: GROAN.

Eyes: I HATE YOU!

Mouth: YOU’RE IMPOSSIBLE!

Ears: I’m going to… don’t worry, I’ll teach you a lesson. (Proceeds to cause eardrums to start smarting in pain.)

Nose: I’m holding my breath. Let’s see how you like that. (holds breath)

Brain: Ahh ahh, ear! That’s painful! Just give me 5 minutes! (Coughs coughs) Nose no nau, please, I promise! It’s an important email from work!

Eyes: They’re all important when you’re addicted. More important than us abi? Who are you without us? You know what, Brain? We’re staging a full strike. I’ll just stop holding my lids up for you; I’m already tired as it is, so no energy left. Let me see how you will see what you’re scrolling through, then.

Mouth: Yeah! I second that. Let’s see how long you keep up with your precious doomscrolling.

Ears: I’ll increase the pain till you hear the word. When your ear is sore, maybe you’ll listen.

Nose: What if I stop inhaling air for 5 minutes? You won’t get any oxygen. What happens to you then? Or you develop an issue with your lungs from poor ventilation?

Brain: (nervous laughter) Common, guys. You… you wouldn’t, right?

Eyes: Try us! (all glare at brain)

Mouth: One more scroll, just try it. (Hands on hips, tapping feet in a don’t test me posture)

Ears: Go on, I dare you. (Looks and holds Brain’s gaze threateningly while gradually increasing the level of pain in the drums)

Nose: Proceeds to hold breath in threat.

Brain (long pause): Ahhhhh…alright, alright. You guys win. I’ll let you guys rest today.

Eyes: Promise? (Hopeful yet distrustful)

Brain: I mean it this time.

Mouth: I don’t trust him. (Whispers to the others conspiratorially)

Brain: Believe me, guys, I’ll do what you say, I mean it. Today is different.

Ears: How so?

Brain: Because… because you guys convinced me. You’re my family, and… (swallows) and doomscrolling is negatively affecting you. Right? I don’t want to hurt you guys anymore.

Nose: Aww, that’s surprisingly sweet.

Brain: I love you guys.

Eyes: Then prove it. Put that laptop and phone down and lie down for like 30 minutes. (Suspicious of Brain’s 360-degree change

Silence. A long pause.)

Brain: …okay. I’m doing it. I’m putting it down.

Eyes: I’m watching you.

Brain: There. It’s on the table, closed laptop!

Mouth: I don’t believe you. Confirm for me, Eyes, did he do it?

Ears: I don’t hear any music …wait, is that…I hear… typing? (incredulous).

ALL TOGETHER: Eyes! What’s he doing? (Eagerly awaiting response).

Eyes : (Shakes head) He picked up his iPad this time around.

Brain: This is different!

Nose: That smells like a lie.

Brain: Okay, fine! But just for one thing…

All Organs Together: What thing?

Brain: It’s important! A friend texted!

Eyes: Which friend? As far as I know, you have no friends. (scoffs)

Brain: This one is a new friend!

Mouth: New ke?. I hope you know you’re an addict, a doom-scrolling addict.

Ears: (Appeals to brain in a kind, soft voice since threats didn’t work) Just put that iPad down for a few minutes. Are you not exhausted from always doing one thing or another on it nonstop?

Brain :(small voice) Well… now that I think about it, I really am tired (Pauses and looks up, unsure). What if I miss something on my phone… Tab..?

Eyes: You’re already missing out on rest and good health doomscrolling as it is. Isn’t that enough?

Long silence.

Brain: Okay. Phones down. Eyes closed, 30 minutes, you said... right? ( drops all devices and relaxes)

Eyes: Finally, thank you!

Mouth: Peace at last.

Ears: Shhh. (listens for a few minutes, hears nothing) Ahhh, blissful tranquillity!

Nose: Not fresh air yet...but maybe after his nap…

Ten seconds pass.

Brain: …I wonder what’s on Twitter.

All Organs (together): OH NO! (All FACEPALM.)

THE END

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See you in the next story! :) :)

Author’s Note

If you recognized yourself in Brain (just like I did, lol), we were in this together. The average person checks their phone 96 times a day (I don’t count mine,lol). That’s once every ten waking minutes. Our whole body, including our eyes, mouth, ears, and nose, is not complaining without reason.

Listen to your body.

Try this: put your phone in another room (this was hard; I kept thinking about it while I was doing it). Close your eyes. Breathe, take a walk, or just lie down. You can even pick up a pen and paper and let your mind run free (Tried it, it works for me). Notice the silence, savor it. Talk to more people face-to-face. Try it for at least 30 minutes every day, and when you get comfortable, increase the duration. You'll find that the world did not end because you scrolled past nothing (I noticed lol).

Your organs will thank you.

And if they don’t? At least you’ll feel better if you make this a regular thing rather than a one-off.

Ciao, till next time!