A HEART IN DENIAL

ZAYD ARMAAN

CHAPTER SIXTY TWO: 62

A HEART IN DENIAL 

JIDDAAH BARKUM

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Zayd bai nuna ko alamar girgiza ko sauyawar fuska a kan iskancin da take ƙoƙarin gwada masa ba. Sanin halinta da gane inda maganarta ta dosa ya sa shi kawai ajiye idanunsa masu matuƙar haske a kanta na ’yan seconds, fuskarsa completely expressionless, babu wata alamar da ta bayyana a kan kyakkyawar fuskarsa.

Bayan ya ƙare mata kallo daga sama har ƙasa a sakaye, sai kawai ya kawar da kansa a hankali, kamar maganar nata ba ta isa ta motsa shi ba. Bai furta ko kalma ɗaya ba. Ya juyo cikin nutsuwa da takunsa na ƙasaita, ya doshi ƙofar fitowa daga ɗakin.

Seeyama ta ware idanunta tare da tashi zaune da hanzari, tana kallonsa cikin tsantsar takaicin yadda ya manna mata hauka.

“Yaya Zayd!”

Zayd bai tsaya ba, bai kuma waigo ba. Ya miƙa hannunsa zuwa handle ɗin ƙofar, ya murɗa shi cikin nutsuwa sannan ya fita zuwa corridor ɗin gaba ɗaya, leaving her in the messy room, yayin da takunsa ke fitar da sauti na nutsuwa har ya soma sauka daga stairs ɗin zuwa downstairs.

Seeyama ta kankame kanta da hannayenta biyu, ta ja numfashi mai ƙarfi. Wani zafaffen takaici da ɓacin rai ya mamaye mata zuciya sakamakon rashin nasarar dabararta. Ta tashi tsaye cif a tsakiyar ɗakin, ta dafe goshinta da tafin hannunta, sannan ta jinginar da bayanta a jikin bango, idanunta cike da takaici.

“God!! Na kwafsa!”

Ta furta cikin kunkuni, tana ciza yatsanta cikin mugun haushi da ɗan danasanin irin game ɗin da ta buga. Ta girgiza kanta sau biyu, kamar har yanzu tana mamakin yadda Zayd ya iya yin watsi da ita haka.

Ta matsa nesa da bangon ta soma sintiri a tsakar ɗakin, tana ɗaukar ƴan steps gaba sannan ta dawo baya. Numfashinta yana fita a hankali amma cike da takaici, hannunta ɗaya na ɗan motsawa kamar tana ƙoƙarin tsara wata sabuwar dabara a ranta.

Ta sake ciza leɓenta na ƙasa sosai, ta ɗan ɗaga gira cikin fushi:

“Wannan wanne irin masifaffen taurin kai ne da shi… But I swear I will find a way to break this his stubborn cold demeanor!”

A downstairs kuwa, Zayd ya sauko daga matakan benen cikin tsantsar nutsuwarsa. Kowanne step ɗinsa steady ne, babu gaggawa ko wata alamar cewa abin da ya faru a upstairs ya dame shi. Hannunsa yana cikin pocket ɗin wandonsa yayin da fuskarsa ta kasance calm, idanunsa a tsaye suna kallon gabansa.

Har a lokacin, su Mommy Hauwa, Alhaji Bashari, da Imraan suna nan zaune a falon.

Ganin ya sauko shi kaɗai within a few minutes ya sa Mommy Hauwa ɗaga kanta da sauri, idanunta suka bi shi daga sama har ƙasa, curiosity ta bayyana a fuskarta.

“Son, har ka fito?” ta tambaya, fuskarta cike da murmushi.

Zayd ya ɗan tsaya a ɗan nesa da su. Ya ɗaga hannunsa ya shafa ƙeyarsa a hankali, sannan ya sauke idanunsa ƙasa kamar wanda ba shi da wata doguwar magana da zai yi.

“Eh, Mommy… zan wuce ne.”

Mommy Hauwa ta ɗan gyara zamanta a kan sofa, ta ɗan ja rigarta cikin nutsuwa sannan ta fara baza wa Zayd idanu kamar mai son jin kwakwafi ko samun wani update.

“I heard Inno saying wai tare za su zauna duka… is that true?”

Zayd ya ɗan tsaya ba tare da ya sauya alamar fuskarsa ba. Sai kawai ya ɗan jinjina mata kai, a hankali.

Mommy Hauwa ta faɗaɗa murmushinta. Fuskarta ta nuna wani irin farin ciki da support, kamar maganar ta mata daɗi sosai.

“Well, ai ka yi dabara wallahi! It is much better ka haɗa matanka duka a gabanka. That way, za ka riƙa sanin halin da kowace take ciki. Ka ga even the kids, a tare za su tashi under one roof as one big family.”

Zayd bai ce komai ba. He just maintained his composed posture. Sai kawai ya saki wani sabon murmushin yaƙe, ƙarami kuma mai wuyar karantawa, wanda ba a iya gane ainihin abin da ke ransa.

A gefe guda kuwa, Imraan da Alhaji Bashari mamaki ne ya kashe su a zaune.

Imraan ya ɗan kalli Alhaji Bashari daga gefen ido, kamar yana neman confirmation cewa shi ma yana ganin abin da yake gani. Alhaji Bashari kuwa ya ɗan ɗaga gira, sannan ya sauke ta a hankali, yana kallon Mommy Hauwa cikin wani irin shiru na mamaki.

Knowing Mommy Hauwa and her extreme level of jealousy, seeing her acting so supportive and unbothered was completely unexpected. Dukansu biyu sun san bala’in kishinta, amma ba wanda ya ce uffan; kawai zuba mata idanu suka yi suna kallonta cikin al’ajabi.

Ganin haka, Imraan ya miƙe tsaye, yana sa wayarshi a pocket sannan ya kalli Zayd.

“Let’s go, bro,” ya faɗa yana nufin Zayd.

Zayd ya ɗan jinjina masa kai.

Dukansu biyu suka fara jerawa a hankali, takunsu na fitar da ƙasaita yayin da suka fito daga falon zuwa compound ɗin gidan.

Da suka fito compound ɗin, suka tsaya a jikin shafaffar motar Zayd mai masifar kyalli kamar an shafa mata mai. Imraan sai kallonsa yake yi, yana wani irin shegen murmushin tsokanar da bai ɓoyuwa. Zayd kuwa ya shafa saman girarsa da finger ɗinshi, ya ɗan karkatar da kansa gefe kamar bai san yana yi ba, ignoring his intense stare with absolute indifference.

Ganin haka, Imraan ya fashe da wata muguwar dariya mai sauti, ya ɗan matsa gaba yana kallonsa kai tsaye:

“Rascal! Wai ni ka maida wani mara aikin yi? Sai wani basar da ni kake yi kamar baka ganni a kusa da kai ba!”

Zayd ya ɗago kansa a hankali. Ya kalli Imraan up and down da gajeren kallo na kasaita da bai ɗauki mutum a bakin komai ba. Sai ya ɗan ɗaga gira ɗaya kafin ya sauke idanunsa, muryarsa ta fito a cikin cool posture ɗinsa:

“Me kake yi da nake basar da kai? I didn’t see anything worth reacting to.”

Imraan ya sake fashewa da wata dariyar mugunta, ya gyaɗa kansa cike da tsokanar da ke ƙara bayyana a fuskarsa.

“Dama rascal yaushe za ka gani? Look at you acting all distant, kawai saboda ka zama angon mata biyu! You think you’re on another level now, huh? Kana ganin ai kai yanzu ka wuce mate ɗina!”

Zayd ya yi masa banza ba tare da ya ba shi amsa ba. Ya zura hannunsa a aljihu ya fito da wayarsa, ya buɗe screen ɗin yana ɗan duba message ɗin da ya shigo. Fuskarsa gaba ɗaya ba ta nuna wata damuwa da kalaman Imraan ba.

Daga ƙarshe, ba tare da ya ɗaga kansa daga screen ɗin wayar ba, ya ce:

“Dama I came to tell you… gobe ka je gidansu tare da su Jameel. Za ku kai su can sabon gidan saboda su kai ƙaya. Make sure kun je da wuri please, kar ku bar mutane su yi ta jiranku.”

Imraan ya tsaida dariyarsa a take. Ya ɗage gira ɗaya, idanunsa suka buɗe kaɗan yana kallon Zayd cikin wani uban mamaki, kafin ya ɗora hannunsa a ƙugu.

“Rascal! Wallahi ka mugun raina min hankali! Just because you got married shine za ka ɗinga wani ba ni command over everything? Nine ma zan ɓata lokacina a je a ɗebo kayan matarka da ni? Bayan zuwa ɗauro maka aure da na yi ma ɗan iska ka maida ni, shine yanzu zan sake komawa ɗebo kayan matarka, daga nan kuma sai ka ce na je ɗauko amarya? Tsakani da Allah, shi Sameer meye amfaninsa a wurin? Kawai ɗan ka yi aure ni ban yi ba?”

Zayd ya ɗago idanunsa a hankali daga kan wayar. Ya tsare Imraan da kallo na ƴan seconds, fuskarsa babu wani canji, sai wani ɗan ƙaramin movement na gira kamar maganar tana ƙoƙarin ba shi dariya.

“Toh ka yi auren mana yanzu… did I stop you?”

Imraan ya girgiza kansa yana ’yar dariya mai cike da mamakin rainin hankalin Zayd. Ya ɗan ɗaga hannayensa sama kamar wanda ya rasa abin cewa.

“Wallahi na ƙasa yarda… rascal, mata biyu fa za ka yi! But tell me, ya za ka yi da wancan matar idan labari ya je mata?”

Zayd ya ɗan ɗaga gira ɗaya kawai yana kallonsa, his posture conveying a cold, unbothered “Who?”

Imraan ya cika yard ɗin da wata ’yar zafaffar dariyar tsokana da mugunta. Yana matsowa dab da Zayd, ya ɗan sunkuyar da kansa yana kallonsa da wani irin mischievous expression.

“You know exactly who I’m talking about! Felicia! Wallahi idan ta ji ka yi aure, ka sani sarai za ta duro ƙasar nan ne gaba ɗaya ta ɗaga maka hankali da rikici!”

Zayd ya ɗauke kansa gaba ɗaya kamar bai ji sunan da aka ambata ba. Hannunsa ya ci gaba da riƙe wayar cikin nutsuwa, babu ko ɗigon tashin hankali ko fargaba da ya bayyana a fuskarsa. Calmness ɗinsa na nan daram a jikinsa.

Daga ƙarshe, ya ɗan kalli Imraan a gajarce. Ya buɗe ƙofar motarsa cikin nutsuwa, ya tsaya na ɗan second kafin ya ce:

“Kar ka manta… ka je da wuri.”

Daga haka, ya shiga motar cikin ƙasaita, ya rufe ƙofar yana kunna engine. Imraan ya tsaya a wurin yana kallonsa, ya girgiza kansa a hankali tare da sake sakin wata ’yar dariya kamar har yanzu bai yarda da halin Zayd ba.

Zayd kuwa bai sake waigo ba. Ya yi reverse da motar cikin sanyi, sannan ya doshi hanyar fita daga compound ɗin gaba ɗaya.

Raihana ta daɗe a kwance a ɗakinta motionless, har sai da Umma ta ɗan leƙo jin shirun ya yi yawa. Shigowar da ta yi ne ta same ta a kwance a kan gadonta kamar mai barci, bayan nan kuwa idanunta biyu.

Kawai tsantsar takaicin Zayd ne ya sa ta yi luff a kwance. Da ta ji motsin Umma, sai ta sake lafawa gaba ɗaya kamar wadda ta yi nisa a barci, idanunta a rufe sosai, numfashinta a hankali kamar babu wani abu da ke damunta.

Bayan tafiyar Umma da ƙyar da kamar 20 minutes, Raihana ta miƙe tsaye.

Ta ƙarasa straight gaban mirror ɗin ɗakinta, ta tsaya tana kallon fuskarta na ƴan seconds. Har yanzu akwai trace na hawayenta da suka bushe a kumatunta, sannan kuma lips ɗinta ba su daina wancan zafaffen burning sensation na bugun da Zayd ya yi a kansu ba.

Ta ɗan ɗaga hannunsa a hankali, yatsunta suka sauka a kan lips ɗin nata. Da ta taɓa su kaɗan, sai fuskarta ta sauya nan take.

Amma kamar wadda ta taɓa wuta gaba ɗaya, sai ta yi maza ta janye hannun cikin sauri!

Ta zuba wa reflection ɗinta wata uwar muguwar harara, kamar tana zargin lips ɗin nata da laifin da aka yi mata. Ta ɗan matsa bakinta, idanunta suka ƙanƙance, as if Zayd himself was standing right inside the reflection.

Tana tsaye a wurin cikin waccan posture ɗin, Maryam ta tura ƙofa ta shigo.

Raihana ba ta juyo nan take ba. Maryam ta tsaya ta ƙare mata kallo tun daga sama har ƙasa, ta ɗan karkatar da kanta gefe kafin ta ce:

“Rayy, wai a haka kika je wajen nashi da wannan gantalalliyar rigar da kika je gyaran jiki ta jikinki?”

Raihana ta juyo a hankali. Kawai ganin irin kallon da Maryam ta yi mata ya ƙara hura mata takaici. Ta zabga mata wani zafaffen kallo mai cike da haushi, kafin ta amsa:

“Toh da uwar me zan je?! So kike na zauna na hau shiri da ƙwalliya kawai saboda ya zo zuwan da ko notice babu?! Even with a notice, I wouldn’t have bothered dressing up for him anyway!”

Maryam ta tsaya tana kallonta, girarta ɗaya ta ɗan ɗaga. Sai ta girgiza kanta a hankali kamar wadda ta kasa yarda da stubbornness ɗin da take gani.

Kafin ta fashe da wata dariyar takaici.

Ta matso kusa da ita, ta ɗan tsaya tana kallonta cikin serious expression.

“Wallahi Rayy kina ba ni mamaki. If you know what’s good for you, za ki saki rai ki kama mijinki da hannu biyu, ki saki jiki da shi saboda shi ne ya fi miki. If you choose to play these childish games, ki bar wa kishiyarki da za a ɗaura masa aure da ita in the next two days, duk ke kika sani! Shawara dai ta rage ga mai shiga rijiya.”

A take zuciyar Raihana ta buga da wani irin heavy thud, ta yi shiru gaba ɗaya kawai tana kallon Maryam.

Wallahi ba ta san ainihin abin da ya sa wannan mahaukacin bugun ya same ta a ƙirji lokaci guda ba. Hannunta ya ɗan matse a gefe, sannan ta yi saurin sauke idanunta kamar tana ƙoƙarin kauce wa abin da zuciyarta ta fara ji.

Amma muryar Maryam ta ci gaba da ratsa kunnenta ba tare da ɓata lokaci ba:

“Mutum sai kafirin taurin kan masifa da kafiya! Shi banzan Haris ɗin da kika ɗaga wa kan kanki hankali a kansa, ai dai da kunnenki kin ji cewa ba son Allah da Manzonsa yake miki ba! Aiko shi aka yi kawai ya yi rugu-rugu da zuciyarki ya ƙara gaba! Who knows the kind of dangerous damage he was planning to cause you? Allah ne kawai ya toni asirinsa Baffa ya gano shi. If you think you can continue ɗaukan buhu-buhun zunubai on your head while married, kina tunanin wani ƙato a waje, then continue! Wallahi Zayd ƙaddara ce ta haɗa ku, but you know deep down cewar ba ajinki ba ne… Kina gani dai yadda ƴanmata masu azababben class da ƙyau suka ɗinga binki a DM a social media lokacin da aka watsa pictures ɗinku! So keep playing the fool and acting clueless!”

Yayin da kalaman ke fitowa daga bakin Maryam, Raihana ta rasa abin cewa.

Fuskarta ta fara sauyawa a hankali. Takaicin da ke cikinta ya gauraye da wani irin confusion da ba ta iya fassara wa kanta ba. Ta buɗe baki kamar za ta yi magana, amma babu kalma da ta fito.

Maryam kuwa ba ta jira amsarta ba.

Ta juya a fusace ta fice daga ɗakin, ƙofar ta biyo bayanta da ɗan sauti.

Raihana ta ci gaba da tsayawa a wurin.

Bakinta a buɗe kaɗan, idanunta a kafe kan ƙofar da Maryam ta fita, kamar har yanzu kalamanta suna ci gaba da amo a cikin kanta.

Ta haɗiye yawu a hankali.

Still staring at the door.

Tunaninta gaba ɗaya ya rikice between anger, denial, and that strange heaviness da ta kasa fahimtar daga ina ya fito.

Sai ta ɗan lumshe idanunta, ta sauke numfashin mai nauyi.

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