13
by @nanadiso10
PAGE 13.
Kalmar ta shiga zuciyarta kai tsaye. Ta fara fahimta. A hankali Ba kamar jiya ba. Ya ci gaba da bayani, yana sauƙaƙa mata abubuwa, yana nuna mata yadda ake gina proposal mai ƙarfi, yadda ake lissafin ROI, yadda ake balancing risk da opportunity, lokaci ya wuce ba tare da ta sani ba, ta manta da komai sai sauraron sa, nutsuwarsa, yadda yake koyarwa ba tare da ya raina ta ba, ba tare da ya yi mata ihu ba.
A ƙarshe…ya rufe file ɗin. “Did you understand?” Ta ɗaga kai cikin sauri. “Yes… I did.” Muryarta ta canza. Cike da girmamawa.
“Thank you… Allah ya saka da alkhairi.” Ya ɗan ɗaga kai. “Ameen.”Ta miƙe cikin nutsuwa Ta tattara abubuwanta. Ta kalleshi na ƙarshe Sai ta juya ta fita.
A cikin office ɗin…Rayyan ya jingina da kujera.Ya rufe idanunsa na ɗan lokaci. Ya ɗaga hannu ya dafe kansa a hankali. Wani feeling ya motsa ajikinsa. Ba zai iya bayyana shi ba. Ba zai iya ƙin shi ba. “Focus…” ya furta a hankali. Tun yana cikin Executive Office dinsa Rayyan ya fara jin wani irin ciwo mai tsanani yana tashi daga cikin cikinsa yana yawo a jikinsa kamar wutar da ba a gani, ya dan dafe cikinsa a hankali yana ƙoƙarin daurewa amma ciwon ya ƙaru sosai har ya sa numfashinsa ya rikice, cikin sauri ya ɗauki wayarsa ya kira likitansa, “Doctor…” ya faɗa da murya mai rauni kaɗan, ya sanar da shi yadda yake ji, likitan ya saurare shi sannan ya ce cikin nutsuwa “Take the medication I prescribed… immediately,” Rayyan ya yi tsaki kaɗan cikin damuwa, “The drugs are at home…” likitan ya ɗan yi shiru sannan ya ce “Alright, I’ll send it to your office right away,” bai jima ba aka kawo masa maganin, amma kafin ya sha, ciwon ya riga ya kai wani mataki, jikinsa ya fara nauyi, idanunsa suka fara rufewa, ya sha maganin da ƙyar, ya jingina da kujera yana sauke numfashi cikin wahala, a hankali bacci ya fara kwashe shi kamar wani abu da aka tilasta masa, ya rasa lokacin da ya rufe idanunsa gaba ɗaya, har lokaci ya wuce ba tare da ya sani ba.
Da ya farka… ya ji jikinsa babu ƙarfi, lokaci ya riga ya tafi, cikin wahala ya miƙe ya fita daga office ɗin, ya shiga mota ya koma gida, amma bai da energy ko kaɗan, baya son ganin mom a wannan halin saboda ya san yadda zata damu, kai tsaye ya nufi ɗakinsa, ya zauna a hankali ya yi dukkan sallolinsa a zaune saboda jikinsa ya kasa ɗaukar nauyi, bayan ya gama ya jingina da bango yana jin gajiya mai nauyi, a wannan lokacin Fatima ta shigo ɗakin da tray ɗin abinci a hannu, da zarar ta gan shi a wannan yanayin ranta ya ɓaci, “Rayyan… me ke damunka haka? Idan ba gayamun ba wa zaka gayawa?” ta faɗa cikin damuwa da ɗan tsanani, ya ɗan riƙe hannunta cikin sanyi, “Mom… I’m fine… na sha magani… zai wuce,” ta kalle shi cikin rashin yarda, amma zuciyarta ta tausayawa halin da yake ciki, “Ka sha tea ɗin nan,” ta ce masa cikin kulawa, ya ɗauki cup ɗin da ƙyar ya sha kaɗan, kafin ma ya gama bacci ya sake kwashe shi, Fatima ta tsaya tana kallonsa, ta daidaita masa pillow, ta rage AC ɗin ɗakin, ta shafa kansa a hankali tana masa addu’a, “Allah ya baka lafiya… ya tsare ka…” ta furta cikin zuciya mai cike da ƙauna.
Ta fita daga ɗakin cikin nutsuwa, ta nufi ɗakin Nayla, ta same ta zaune tana rubutu cikin nutsuwa, ta ɗan tsaya tana kallonta da murmushi, “Allah ya taimake ki…” ta faɗa a hankali tana mata addu’a, daga nan ta fita ta wuce ɗakinta, Suhyla tun tuni ta yi bacci, tana shiga ɗakin ta ɗauki wayarta ta kira Haroon, yana ɗagawa ta ce cikin ɗan shagwaɓa, “Dan Allah… ka sa baki ayi bikin nan this month… yarona…” Haroon ya yi murmushi a ɗayan ɓangaren, “Okay… gobe zai je su gaisa… mu ga yadda za a tsara komai,” ta yi murmushi cikin nutsuwa, “Thank you…” daga nan ta katse, amma kafin ta kwanta sai ta sake leƙa ɗakin Rayyan, tana kallonsa yadda yake bacci cikin rauni, ta ji wani abu ya taɓa zuciyarta, ta zauna a gefen kujera kusa da shi, ta jingina da gadon, har bacci ya kwashe ta a nan.
Da kiran sallar asuba ya tashi cikin ɗakin, Rayyan ya buɗe idanunsa a hankali, ya kalli gefensa, ya ga Fatima a zaune kusa da shi, bacci ya ɗauke ta, zuciyarsa ta taɓu sosai, “Allah sarki Mom…” ya furta a hankali, ya miƙe cikin wahala, ya shiga bathroom ya yi wanka, ya dawo ya taɓa kafadarta a hankali, “Mom…” ta farka tana kallonsa, “Za ka je masallaci ne?” ta tambaya cikin kulawa, ya yi murmushi mai rauni, “Eh…” ta kalle shi cikin zurfi, “Kana jin sauƙi?” ya ɗaga kai, “Better…” ta yi masa addu’a sannan ta miƙe ta fita, ta nufi ɗakin Nayla ta tasheta, daga nan ta koma ɗakinta domin ta yi sallah.Rayyan yana ganin ta fita…ya sauke murmushi Ya juya a hankali. Ya koma ya zauna Saboda ya san gaskiya. Ba shi da ƙarfin fita Jikinsa ya yi nauyi.
Ya zauna ya yi sallarsa a hankali, gabansa na bugawa da sauri, wani irin yanayi ya sake ratsa jikinsa, ba ciwo kaɗai ba… wani abu daban, wani abu da ya fi ƙarfin bayani, hankalinsa ya fara tafiya, numfashinsa ya canza, ya rufe idanunsa yana ƙoƙarin dawo da kansa, a cikin wannan hali ne… muryarta ta dawo masa Hanan Kalaman ta Laushin muryarta Yadda ta faɗi “please…” Idonsa ya buɗe a hankali. Zuciyarsa ta buga. “Ya Allah…” ya furta. Ya ɗauki tasbihi. Ya fara ambaton Allah cikin nutsuwa. “Subhanallah… Astaghfirullah…” A hankali hankalinsa ya fara dawowa amma ba gaba ɗaya ba. Saboda a wani ɓangaren zuciyarsa…ya riga ya san gaskiya yana son mace mai nutsuwa. Mai sauƙin kai Mai girmamawa Kuma ba tare da ya sani ba… wani suna ya fara fitowa a zuciyarsa Hanan Ya lumshe idanunsa. Yana ƙoƙarin ƙin wannan tunanin. Amma kafin ya gama…bacci ya sake kwashe shi.
Washegari safiya gidan ya cika da wani irin yanayi na kulawa da shiru, Rayyan bai samu damar fita office ba gaba ɗaya saboda zazzabi da ya kama shi, har likitansa sai da ya zo gida da kansa, aka shimfiɗa masa drip aka saka masa ruwa a jiki yayin da Fatima ke tsaye kusa da shi tana kallonsa cike da damuwa, fuskarta ta nuna cewa duk wata damuwa a duniya a wannan lokacin ta takaita ne a kansa, “Doctor is he okay?” ta tambaya cikin sauri, likitan ya amsa cikin nutsuwa “He’ll be fine… just stress and exhaustion… he needs rest,” ta sauke numfashi a hankali amma zuciyarta ba ta gama kwanciya ba, duk lokacin da ya motsa sai ta matsa kusa tana dubansa, har bayan wasu awanni ne jikin ya fara sauƙi, zazzabin ya ɗan ragu, ya buɗe idanunsa a hankali yana kallon ɗakin, Fatima na zaune kusa da shi, da zarar ta ga ya farka ta matsa da sauri, “Rayyan… how are you feeling now?” ya ɗan yi murmushi mai rauni, “Better…” ta shafa goshinsa tana jin zafin ya ragu, “Alhamdulillah…” ta furta cikin sauƙi.
Bayan ɗan lokaci kaɗan ya samu ƙarfin saukowa ƙasa, a hankali ya sauko falon yana sanye da kaya masu sauƙi amma har yanzu jikinsa ya nuna rauni, Fatima ta kalle shi cikin kulawa, “Dady ya ce ka shirya… anjima ko gobe ka je ka ga yarinyar… zai turo maka address,” Rayyan ya ɗan ɗaga kai cikin nutsuwa, “Okay Mom…” ba tare da ya ƙara magana ba, amma a zuciyarsa wani abu ya motsa maganar aure, Hanan, meeting… komai yana gauraye. A daidai wannan lokacin Nayla ta shigo cikin farin ciki, ta zauna kusa da shi kamar ƙaramar yarinya, “Yaya…” ta kira da murmushi, ta buɗe notebook ɗinta tana nuna masa, “Look… wannan assignment ɗina ne…” tana magana cikin sauri kamar yadda ta saba, tana bayyana masa yadda take solving problems, yadda take rubutu, yadda take ƙoƙari, Rayyan ya ɗan karkata yana kallonta cikin nutsuwa, murmushi ya bayyana a fuskarsa, “You’re doing well…” ya faɗa cikin laushi, Nayla ta ƙara shagwaɓa, “Amma yaya… ina son a samo min lesson teacher… kinga exam na kusa…” Rayyan ya ɗan yi murmushi, “Dad already spoke to Uncle Usman… teacher ɗin da yake zuwa wajen Amnah zai fara zuwa wajen ki,” Nayla ta yi wani irin farin ciki mai ɗauke da dariya, “Really??” ta faɗa tana dariya, “Allah yaya ka fi kowa… Allah ya maka albarka!” ta ɗan buga hannunsa cikin wasa, Rayyan ya yi dariya kaɗan, “Nayla… you’re already smart… you don’t even need extra lessons,” kafin ya gama maganar ta yi saurin katse shi tana ɗan turo baki, “Yanzu banda ƙoƙari?” kalmar ta fito da ɗan wasa, hakan ya sa shi dariya, suka ɗan yi hira cikin sauƙi, wani ɗan farin ciki ya mamaye falon duk da yanayin rashin lafiyar da yawuce.
Suka zauna suka ci abinci tare cikin nutsuwa, Fatima na lura da shi sosai, duk motsinsa tana kallo, duk abin da ya ci tana dubawa, bayan ya gama ya ɗan miƙe a hankali, “Mom… I think I need to rest,” ta ɗaga kai cikin sauri, “Yes… ka je ka kwanta,” babu jayayya a tsakaninsu idan maganar lafiyarsa ce, ya juya ya nufi sama cikin nutsuwa, ya shiga ɗakinsa ya kwanta a gadonsa mai faɗi, ya lumshe idanunsa. A ƙasa kuwa…
Fatima ta tsaya na ɗan lokaci tana kallon matattarar matakan da ya haura.
Karfe takwas na dare gidan ya cika da hasken fitilu masu laushi da ke ba shi wani irin kyau na alfarma, Rayyan ya tsaya a gaban mirror yana gyara black tailored suit dinsa da ya zauna jikinsa kamar an zuba masa, agogon Patek Philippe a hannunsa yana ƙara masa kima, ya ɗan ja numfashi a hankali yana kallon kansa, yau ba rana irin kowace rana ba ce, akwai wani abu da yake jin sa a zuciyarsa amma bai iya fassara shi ba, ya ɗauki key dinsa ya sauko ƙasa cikin nutsuwa, Haroon yana zaune yana kallonsa da murmushi mai cike da alfahari, “You look good, my son…” ya faɗa cikin nutsuwa, Rayyan ya ɗan sunkuyar da kai cikin ladabi, “Thank you Dad,” Haroon ya ƙara da cewa, “Go… talk to her… get to know her… ba komai ake gaggawa ba,” Rayyan ya ɗaga kai, “Alright,” ya juya ya nufi Fatima, “Mom… I’m heading out,” Fatima ta kalle shi cikin kulawa, “Take care… kuma ka dawo da wuri,” ya yi murmushi mai sauƙi, “I will,” ya fita.
A waje motarsa Rolls-Royce Cullinan ta tsaya cikin shiri, driver ya buɗe masa ƙofa, ya shiga cikin nutsuwa, motar ta tashi cikin daren Paris, tituna suna walƙiya da fitilu, iska mai sanyi na bugun gilashin motar, Rayyan ya jingina da kujera yana kallon waje, zuciyarsa na ɗan bugawa fiye da yadda ya saba, ba tsoro ba… ba damuwa ba… sai wani abu daban, wani abu da yake ƙoƙarin fahimta, a cikin wannan tafiya ne wani tunani ya ratsa shi fuskar Hanan, muryarta, yadda ta tsaya a gabansa cikin ladabi, yadda ta ce “please…” ya ɗan lumshe idanunsa, “Why am I thinking about her…” ya furta a hankali, amma kafin ya ƙara wani abu, motar ta rage gudu.
Sun isa. Gidan mai girma da aka kawata da fitilu masu kyau ya bayyana a gabansa, guards suka buɗe ƙofa cikin girmamawa, ya sauko daga motar cikin nutsuwa, takunsa a hankali amma cike da kima, aka yi masa maraba aka kai shi cikin babban falon gidan, kayan daki masu tsada, kamshi mai dadi ya cika wurin, Tsaye yayi a tsakiyar falon yana kallon gidan da aka kawata da kayan alfarma masu tsada, fitilu masu laushi suna haskaka komai cikin nutsuwa, kamshi mai sanyi ya mamaye wurin, a hankali ya zauna bayan gaisuwa ta farko da aka masa cikin girmamawa, mahaifin Hanan yana zaune kusa da shi yana nuna masa kulawa kamar tsohon aboki na amana, “Rayyan… you’re welcome… gidan ka ne,” ya faɗa cikin murmushi, Rayyan ya ɗan sunkuyar da kai cikin ladabi “Thank you sir,” zuciyarsa cikin nutsuwa amma akwai wani abu da yake motsi a ciki, ya san dalilin zuwansa ba kasuwanci ba, ba meeting ba… aure ne, bayan ɗan lokaci kaɗan aka kira Hanan daga ciki, falon ya yi shiru na ɗan lokaci, sai ƙofar ta buɗe a hankali, ta shigo cikin nutsuwa tana sanye da kaya masu kyau amma ba masu nuna yawa ba, hijab ɗinta a gyare, tafiyarta cikin ladabi, ta ɗan sunkuyar da kai ta gaishesu “Assalamu alaikum,” muryarta mai laushi ta cika falon, Rayyan ya ɗaga kai a hankali… idanunsa suka tsaya a kanta, wannan karon ba kamar office ba, ba kamar meeting ba, wannan karon ya kalleta a matsayin wadda ake son haɗa su rayuwa, zuciyarsa ta ɗan buga kaɗan amma ya daure ya ɓoye komai a fuskar sa, ta zauna a gefen mahaifinta cikin nutsuwa, idonta ƙasa amma tana jin kallon da yake mata, mahaifin Hanan ya yi gyaran murya yana fara magana “Alhamdulillah… mun gode da wannan zumunci da aka kawo tsakaninmu, kai da mahaifinka kun kasance abokai na gaskiya, kuma mun yarda cewa wannan alaƙa ta ƙara ƙarfi idan aka haɗa zumunci,” ya ɗan juya yana kallon Rayyan “Mun kawo maganar aure ne a fili… idan kana da ra’ayi ka faɗa,” shiru ya sauka na ɗan lokaci, Rayyan ya ɗan ɗaga kai yana kallon Hanan na seconds kaɗan kafin ya dawo da idonsa ga mahaifinta, “I respect whatever my parents decide…” ya faɗa cikin nutsuwa, amma kalmar ba ta nuna cikakken amincewa ko ƙin amincewa ba, mahaifin Hanan ya ɗan yi murmushi “That is good… amma mu ma muna son jin ra’ayinka,” a wannan lokacin Rayyan ya ɗan ja numfashi a hankali, ya sake kallonta, wannan karon idonta ya ɗan haɗu da nasa na seconds guda ɗaya, wani abu ya wuce tsakaninsu ba tare da kalma ba, sai ta sauke idonta cikin ladabi, ya dawo da hankalinsa “I have no objection…” ya faɗa a hankali, kalmar ta sauka cikin nutsuwa amma ta ɗauke da nauyi, mahaifin Hanan ya yi murmushi mai faɗi “Alhamdulillah…” Da mahaifinta ya fita ya barsu a falon, shiru mai laushi ya sauka kamar wani lullubi mai dumi, ƙarar agogo kaɗai ke tashi a bango, Hanan ta zauna idonta ƙasa zuciyarta na bugawa da wani irin sauti da take jin kamar shi ma yana ji, Rayyan ya ɗan gyara zamansa yana kallonta cikin nutsuwa mai cike da wani abu da ba a gani a fuskarsa a baya, wannan karon ba shi bane Rayyan ɗin da ake tsoro a meeting, ba shi bane wanda yake magana da sanyi da iko kawai, wannan wani ɓangare ne daban, ya ɗan matsa kusa kaɗan ba tare da ya kusance ta da yawa ba, amma iskar jikinsa ta isa gare ta, kamshin turarensa ya haɗu da nata, zuciyarta ta sake bugawa, “Hanan…” ya kira sunanta a hankali kamar yana jin daɗin furta shi, ta ɗan ɗaga kai a hankali idanunsu suka haɗu na daƙiƙa guda, lokaci ya tsaya a gare ta, ta sauke idonta cikin sauri saboda yadda kallonsa ya rikita ta, ya ɗan yi murmushi kaɗan yana kallon yadda take ƙoƙarin ɓoye kanta, ya ɗan ɗaga hannunsa a hankali kamar zai taɓa hannunta sai ya tsaya, ya ja numfashi kamar yana yaƙi da kansa, “Kin san abu ɗaya?” ya faɗa cikin murya mai laushi da ke ɗauke da zurfi, ta ɗan motsa idonta kaɗan ba tare da ta ɗaga kai ba, “Tun daga ranar da na gan ki…” ya ci gaba a hankali, “something felt different…” kalmar ta fito da gaskiya ba tare da ado ba, Hanan ta ji wani abu ya ratsa jikinta gaba ɗaya, ta ɗan riƙe yatsunta a hankali saboda rawar da suke yi, ya ɗan karkata yana kallonta sosai “Kin zo a rayuwata ba tare da shiri ba… but somehow…” ya ɗan yi shiru na daƙiƙa guda kamar yana nemo kalmomi “you stayed in my mind…” wannan karon ta ɗan ɗaga kai ta kalle shi, idonta cike da mamaki da wani abu mai laushi, bai kauce mata ba, ya cigaba da kallonta kai tsaye “Ba zan ce soyayya ba yanzu…” ya faɗa cikin gaskiya “amma zan ce… akwai wani abu…” ya ɗan ɗora hannunsa a kirjinsa “here… that reacts to you,” zuciyarta ta buga da ƙarfi har ta ji kamar zata ji shi a waje, ta kasa cewa komai, kalmomi sun ƙi fitowa, sai kallonsa kawai take yi cikin nutsuwa, shi kuma ya ɗan matsa kusa kaɗan murya ya ƙara laushi “And I don’t joke with things I feel…” ya ɗan sauke murya kamar sirri “especially when they involve you…” ta lumshe idanunta na ɗan lokaci saboda yadda kalmomin suka shiga zuciyarta kai tsaye, numfashinta ya ɗan rikice, ya lura da hakan, ya ɗan sassauta murya “Relax…” ya faɗa cikin laushi “I won’t rush you…” ya ɗan yi murmushi kaɗan “amma ki sani…” ya tsaya yana kallonta sosai “I’m not the kind of man that lets go easily…” kalmar ta fito da iko amma mai dadi, ba tsoro ba, sai wani irin tabbaci, Hanan ta buɗe idanunta a hankali tana kallonsa, zuciyarta cike da wani irin jin daɗi da tsoro a lokaci guda, ta kasa boye murmushin da ya bayyana a fuskarta, cikin muryar da ta yi laushi sosai ta ce “Ni ma…” sai ta tsaya saboda kunya, ya ɗan karkata yana ƙara sauraro “Ni ma… ban saba jin haka ba…” kalmar ta fito da gaskiya mai sauƙi amma mai nauyi, wannan karon Rayyan ya ɗan rufe idanunsa na daƙiƙa guda kamar yana jin daɗin abin da ya ji, ya buɗe su yana kallonta cikin nutsuwa mai zurfi “Then maybe…” ya faɗa a hankali “this is the beginning…”