SHIMFIƊA

 A love that grew in silence

             A heart that hoped to be chosen And a destiny that has been decided

           SADAUKARWA 

 Ga duk wanda ya taɓa yin mafarki mai girma... amma rayuwa ta rubuta masa wani labari daban.

 Ga waɗanda suka rasa kansu suna ƙoƙarin zama abin daduniya take so su zama.

 Ga waɗanda suke yaƙi da insecurities,low self esteemow self worth,self love da self-doubt a kullum, duk da cewa suna nuna ƙarfin da ba su ji suna da shi ba. 

 Ga duk wanda ya taɓa kallon madubi ya ga flaws kafin ya ga kyawunsa. 

 Ga waɗanda suke ɗauke da ciwon da babu wanda ke gani..

 The ones who laugh the loudest, yet cry in silence. 

 The ones who keep saying "I'm fine" when their hearts are anything but fine. 

 Rayuwa ba koyaushe take ba mu abin da muka nema ba.

 Sometimes the prayer remains unanswered. 

 Sometimes the door remains closed.

 Sometimes the dream stays a dream.

 Kuma wani lokacin, abin da ya fi cutarwa ba rasa abin da kake so ba ne...

 It's losing yourself while chasing it.

 Wannan littafin ba wai game da perfect people ba ne.

 Yana magana ne game da real people.

 Mutanen da suke jin tsoro.

 Mutanen da suke kuskure.

 Mutanen da suke son a ƙaunace su.

 Mutanen da suke neman kansu a cikin duniya da ke sa su ji ba su isa ba.

 Idan ka taɓa jin cewa baka isa ba...

 Idan ka taɓa jin kamar kowa yana tafiya gaba yayin da kai ka tsaya a wuri ɗaya...

 Idan ka taɓa rasa wani ɓangare na kanka saboda neman karɓuwa daga wasu...

 Then this story is for you. 

 May these pages remind you that your scars do not make you less beautiful.

 Your failures do not make you less worthy.

 And the dreams that never came true do not define the rest of your life.

 Because sometimes...

 the greatest journey is not finding love. 

 It is finding yourself.

— Autumn 17 RU'UYAA: The Dreams We Never Lived ✨🌹

 ❤️📖✨

NOTE:Free pages zasu kasance a first person's point of view (1st POV) paid pages kuma narrative point of view 

SHIMFIƊA...

OSLO, NORWAY...

05:30 P.M

Garin yana cikin duhu mai nauyi.

Ba duhun yamma kaɗai ba ne,wani irin duhu ne da yake sa komai ya yi kama da ba shi da rai. Sama ta lulluɓe Oslo da gajimare masu kauri, hasken fitilun titi kuwa ya narke cikin ɗigon ruwan sama kamar ƙananan fitilu da aka manta a tsakiyar ruwa.

Ruwan ya ɗan tsagaita, amma ƙasa ta riga ta jiƙe.

Mutane na ta gudu daga nan zuwa can, wasu suna neman mafaka a ƙarƙashin rumfuna, wasu kuma suna tsaye a kan gefen titin ba tare da sanin inda za su dosa ba. Hanyar kwalta ta yi sheƙi da ruwa, tana ɗaukar hasken manyan gine-ginen kamfanoni da gidajen da ke gefenta. Bishiyoyin gefen titi suna jijjiga a hankali saboda iska, kusa da su kuma akwai dogayen kujeru da ake zama domin hutu,amma yau babu wanda ya damu da zama.

Kowa yana da abin da yake nema.

Kowa yana da abin da yake ji.

A kan manyan billboards da aka jera a wurin, ake hasko hotunan hatsarin jirgin saman da ya faru jiya da rana.

Hotunan sun sake maimaituwa.

Jirgi.

Wuta.

Hayaki.

Taro.

Kuka.

Mutane da dama sun taru a wurin, idanunsu manne da allon. Wasu suna kuka a fili. Wasu kuma sun sunkuyar da kawunansu, kamar har yanzu hankalinsu bai amince da abin da ya faru ba. Wata mata ta riƙe baƙin cikinta da hannaye biyu tana kuka ba tare da ta damu da yayyafin ruwan da ke sauka a fuskarta ba.

Hayaniyar jama'a ta gauraye da sautin motoci da iska.

Amma a tsakiyar wannan hayaniyar

akwai wata tsaye ...ba ta jin komai.

Ta tsaya can nesa da taron... kamar kasancewa daga nesan zai sa tafita daga cikin jerin wa'yanda abin ya shafa

Sanye take da baƙar coat, ƙaramin mayafi ya rufe kanta da wuyanta. Hannayenta sun zurfafa cikin aljihun coat ɗin, amma ba don sanyi ba.

Saboda hannayenta sun kasa daina rawa,

Idonta sun yi jajir,Ba wai saboda rashin barci ba,ba saboda sanyi ba.

Saboda abin da ta gani a kan allon ya riga ya shiga inda babu ruwan sama da zai iya wanke shi.

Ta kalli hoton jirgin na ɗan lokaci sai ta ɗauke idanunta, ta sake kallo,ta sake kau da su.

Kamar idan ta ƙi kallon hoton, abin da yake nufi zai daina zama gaskiya.

Amma gaskiya ba ta taɓa bukatar izinin mutum kafin ta karya shi.

Numfashinta ya fara fita da sauri, gajere-gajere. Ƙirjinta na matsewa kamar an ɗaure shi da igiya.

Sai ta juya ta fara tafiya

Mataki ɗaya,na biyu,na uku kafin ta ƙara sauri,ba ta san inda take zuwa ba.

Ta dai san cewa dole ta bar wurin

dole ta bar waɗancan hotunan

dole ta bar muryoyin mutane

Dole ta gudu daga kalmar da babu wanda ya faɗa amma take ihu a kunnenta tun jiya

ya tafi..a'a! hakan ba daidai bane...zai dawo..wasa yake da yace bazai dawo ba...wasa yake that most be it!!!amma ina yake???

Hawaye suka fara zubo mata,tun tana sharewa har ta fashe da kuka.

Ta dafe ƙirjinta da hannu ɗaya, tana jin kamar an cire zuciyarta daga cikin kirjinta aka ajiye ta wani wuri da ba za ta iya kaiwa ba... numfashinta kamar irin na mai asthma 

Sanyin ruwan sama ya daki fuskarta,amma bai kai inda ciwon yake ba...ko kusa 

Domin akwai wasu ciwon da ba'a gani...da ba sa konewa a fata.

Suna konewa a cikin mutum...babu halin sosawa bare kaji sauƙi

Ta bi wata ƙaramar hanya da babu kowa a cikinta. Takalmanta suna taka ruwan da ya taru a kan interlock, amma ba ta ma lura da hakan ba.

Hawayenta sun ƙi tsayawa,ta goge su,sabbi suka zo,ta sake gogewa.

Sai wasu suka sake gangarowa..

Kamar zuciyarta ta yanke shawarar cewa babu abin da zai iya hana ta yin kuka...kukan girman rashinta...

Har ta isa wani wuri mai natsuwa.

Akwai wata babbar bishiya a wurin—cike take da ƙananan fararen furanni.

Iskar sanyi na motsa rassanta a hankali, furannin suna zubewa ɗaya bayan ɗaya a ƙasa.

A gabanta kuma akwai teku.

An katange bakin tekun da ƙananan tubalin bango, ruwan yana bugawa a hankali yana ja da baya.

Gaba da baya... batareda tsayawa ba.. tare da iska mai sanyin dake ratsa ƙasusuwa

Kamar wani abu da yake ƙoƙarin komawa inda ya fito, amma ba zai iya ba.

  tsayawa tayi,ta kalli tekun... tana ji inama zata iya mayarda rayuwar ta baya koda na yan daƙiƙun daya kasance tare da ita ne...

Daga nan sai ta kalli furannin da ke zubewa daga bishiyar ɗaya ya faɗi kusa da ƙafarta ta kalle shi na ƴan daƙiƙu.

Farin furanni....

Sai wani abu ya karye a cikin ta,ta saki wani irin ihu da ya fito daga can cikin ƙirjinta,ta durƙusa tana matse hannayen ta tsakanin cinyoyinta,jikinta gaba ɗaya yana rawa.

Hawayen da suka cika idanunta suka gangaro suka faɗa kan interlock ɗin.

ɗis!! ɗis!! ɗis!!!

Suna haɗuwa da ruwan sama har ba a iya bambance wanne ne na sama, wanne ne na zuciyarta.

Ta ɗaga kanta zuwa sama.... Ta runtse idonta gunjin kuka na fita daga bakinta 

''M... me... ya sa shi...?''muryarta ta karye...maƙogaronta ya tsuke,ta haɗiye iska.

Amma iska ma ta gagara kawo mata sauƙi...

''Me ya sa shi...?!''

Ta sake maimaitawa, wannan karon da ƙarfi... kamar akwai wani gabanta 

sai kuka ya mamaye muryarta...ta fara sabbatu,duniyar ta yi mata ƙunci.

Tekun da ke gabanta ya yi kama da ba shi da iyaka.

Sama ta yi nisa.

Ƙasa kuma ta yi kamar ba ta da ƙarfin riƙe ta.

A wannan lokacin, ta ji kamar ita kaɗai ce ta rage a duniya.

''LUMINA...''Muryar ahankali kamar daga mafarki.

ta daskare,hawayen da ke gudu a fuskarta suka tsaya na ɗan lokaci,numfashinta ya makale ta lumshe ido ta sake nutsuwa dan saurara.

Sai ta sake jin muryar dako a cikin miliyoyan mutane zata gane...saboda shi kaɗai ke kiranta da wannan sunan...

''LUNA...''

Idonta ta buɗe da sauri ta miƙe tsaye.

''Kana ina?!'' ta furta da ƙarfi tare da fashewa da kuka ta juya gefe guda ba kowa....ta juya ɗayan nan ma ba kowa sai iska,sai teku...sai bishiyar sai hazo...

Hazo mai kauri da duhu ya fara cika wurin a tsakiyarsa,akwai inuwa....inuwar mutum.

A hankali take matsowa, ta tsaya cak,ba ta gudu ba...ba ta yi tunanin tsoro ba

Domin zuciyarta ta riga ta gane abin da idanunta suke ƙoƙarin tabbatar mata.

Inuwar ta ƙara bayyana...har ya fito daga cikin hazon... Idonta suka wani irin lumshe kafin suka sake buɗe wa a slow motion... ta sani dama...bazai barta ba...

sanye yake da fararen kaya daga sama har ƙasa.

Fararen kayan sun haɗu da hazon da ke kewaye da shi har ya zama kamar suna tare ne,idan babu hazon... shima babu shi... kyakkyawar fuskarsa ɗauke da murmushi...ba murmushin farin ciki ba...wani irin murmushi mai laushi, mai ciwo.

Murmushin wanda yake kama da sallama..

 ta rufe bakinta...idonta suka sake cika da hawaye...amma wannan karon?murmushi ne ya bayyana tare da hawayen.

Domin na ɗan lokaci, zuciyarta ta manta da gaskiya....ta manta da jirgin...ta manta da hotunan...ta manta da duniya...abu mai muhimmanci a wannan lokacin? Suna tare

ta ga gida....taga bugun zuciyar ta...ta ga abin da take so ta gani...ta matsa kusa da shi da sauri... Crossing the distance between them...ta riƙe hannunsa....dake da ɗumi...bakinta ya kasa rufuwa tana shafa shi ta ko ina dan ta tabbatar shi ɗin ne..cikin jini da nama...

Wannan ɗumin data saba ji a duk sanda jikinsu ya haɗu..shi take ji a yanzu...ko kuma wataƙila zuciyarta ce ta yanke shawarar cewa dole ta ji ɗumin nasa...sai ta sake shi kamar ta tuna wani abu.

Ta rungume shi.... kamar zata shigar da jikinta cikin nashi, ƙamshin shi na haifar mata da nutsuwar data manta akwai a duniyar nan... yayi wrapping hannayen sa a ƙaramin jikinta dake tsananin rawa kamar zai karye ta ruguje...

''Dan Allah...'' muryarta ta fita cikin kuka. ''Kazo mu tafi gida.''

Ta ƙara ƙanƙame shi...

''Nayi alƙawarin zan saurareka... zan kyautata maka.''

Ta ɗago fuskarta tana kallonsa.

''Ba zan sake yin wani abu da baka so ba.''

Hawaye suka gangaro daga gefen idonta.

''Just... let's go home, please...'' ya ɗaga hannunsa ya shafa kanta....tare da goge mata hawayenta,his touch like a feather sending warm and tingling sensation a duk ilahirin jikinta

 ta lumshe ido... hawayen wasu nabin wasu...

Kamar wannan taɓawar kaɗai ta isa ta gyara duk abin da ya karye...sai muryarsa ta zo a hankali.

''No, LUMINA...''

Ta buɗe ido...suka shige cikin nashi masu duhu kamar ramin da baida ƙarshe bambancin kawai shine yanzu sun bada damar ganin abinda ke zuciyar shi...utter sadness..

''It's too late.''ya furta kamar raɗa,murmushin fuskarsa bai gushe ba.

''Ai ke baki sona ko?''

girgiza kai tayi da sauri.

''A'a...''

''Ba koda yaushe kin fi so in yi nesa dake ba?''

Ta ƙara girgiza kanta, kamar tana ƙoƙarin girgiza maganar daga cikin kanta.

''Ba haka bane... wallahi ba haka bane.''

'' kuma kin tsane ni!" 

Ta riƙo fuskarshi da tafukan hannayenta.

'' ban tsaneka ba...Ina sonka.... fiye da yanda nake son kaina pls..''

Muryarta ta ragu...ta sake fashewa da kuka tana tsananin roƙon shi da idonta akan ya gane abinda take faɗa gaskiya ne...

''Ina sonka sosai.''

Zuciyarta ta buga da ƙarfi.

''Just... kazo mu tafi gida, dan Allah.''

Amma ya cire hannayenta a hankali daga fuskarshi...

Ya ja baya...tazara ta fara shiga tsakaninsu...ɗaya daga cikin matakan da zuciya ta fi tsoro.

 ta kalle shi... fuskarta tashin hankali ɓaro ɓaro...

''LUNA...'' ya kira in a whisper tareda ƙara taku zuwa baya...hazo ya fara haɗiye ƙafafunsa...sai jikinsa...sai kafadunsa.

Murmushin fuskarsa ne kawai ya rage a bayyane.

''... it's too late.''wannan sentence ɗin ya ƙara rufto da duniyar ta...

Muryarsa ta fara nisa.

''Kada ki jirani.''

Ta yi yunƙurin matsawa kusa...kuka wiwiii!

''Marry again.'' ta girgiza kanta hawaye na yarfi daga fuskarta...ta daskare... kalmomin sun bugi ƙirjinta...taji duniyarta ta ruguje ta faɗa cikin duhu mara iyaka 

''A'a...''

Ta fara bin shi.

''Kada ka tafi.'' ta roƙa da tsananin bege..'' we can make things work..'' 

Ya ci gaba da tafiya cikin hazon 

''Akwai abubuwa da nake so na faɗa maka!''

Ta ƙara sauri.

''Ka jini, dan Allah!''

Hawayenta suka koma gudu... itama kanta ta fara gudun zuwa inda yake...

''Ka tsaya!''

Ya juya ya kalle ta.

Murmushin nan har yanzu yana fuskarsa.

''Komai ya ƙare, LUNA.''

Muryarsa ta yi sanyi.

''Ba zamu iya cigaba da kasancewa tare ba.''

''A'a!''

Ta kira sunansa... kamar mahaukaciya amma ya ɓace cikin hazon...babu sawun shi bare ta bishi...

Ta yi gudu.

Amma duk lokacin da ta yi ƙoƙarin kusantarsa, hazon ya ƙara shiga tsakaninsu.

Kamar akwai wani abu da ya riga ya yanke igiyar da ke haɗa su.

Ta miƙa hannu.

''Kada ka tafi!...'' Murya a raunace...

''Miss! Are you okay?''

Matar ta ji an girgiza kafaɗunta...da ƙarfi... tayi hiri hiri da jajayen idonta da suka ƙanƙance... kamar an watsa mata ruwan sanyi ...take kallon Baturen da ke gabanta 

Hannayensa suna kan kafaɗunta, fuskarsa cike da damuwa.

Sai ta kalli gefensa...Hazo..., ɗayan gefen ma hazo...babu kowa ,ta kalli bayansa,babu farin kaya...babu murmushi..babu hannun da ta riƙe babu komai sai teku..sai bishiyar sai fararen furannin da ke ci gaba da zubewa ɗaya bayan ɗaya.. 

a hankali ta kalli hannunta...wannan hannun da take jin kamar har yanzu yana riƙe da nasa...babu komai.... sai iska.

Kamar fitilar da aka kashe ba tare da an sanar da ita ba... ta gane....ba ta same shi ba...ba shi ne ya dawo ba...zuciyarta ce ta ƙi barinsa ya tafi.

Ta sake kiran sunansa a cikin zuciyarta, amma wannan karon babu amsa....sai wani sabon ƙunci ya cika kirjinta...da kuma emptiness da babu mai cikawa...ƙafafunta suka kasa riƙe ta...ta saki mutumin....ta durƙusa a kan interlock ɗin...tayi sujuda.

Kuka ya sake fashewa daga cikinta—amma yanzu ba kukan neman ya dawo ba ne....kuka ne na wanda ya fara fahimtar cewa babu abin da zai dawo...duk da zuciyarta taƙi yarda da hakan

Ruwan sama ya fara sauka a hankali...ya bugi bayanta.

Ya gangaro daga coat ɗinta,ya haɗu da hawayenta.

Teku ya ci gaba da zuwa da dawowa.

Gaba.

Baya.

Gaba.

Baya.

Amma matar ta tsaya a wurin.

Kamar furannin bishiyar da ke zubewa kusa da ita—

wasu abubuwa suna faɗuwa sau ɗaya ne kawai.

Kuma ba komai ya isa ya mayar da su kan reshe ba...

Ta tuna wata magana da aka taɓa faɗa mata a wannan lokacin '' ki darajta abinda kike dashi...kafin ki rasa shi...'' yanzu take ji inama ace ta saurara,babu adadin kalamai da zasu iya bayyana nadamarta...

***

RU'UYAA…📖

₦500 ne idan ya kammala zai koma 800

Biya ta wannan account ɗin 9138091955..Salma Aliyu opay

Shaidar biya ta ***

Autumn writes 📖🖋️