BABI NA GOMA SHA BAKWAI

TUN DAGA RANAR da nace Zaid ya fita ya ƙyale ni yake tambaya ta akan duk wani abu da ze min. Idan ya ganni a cikin parlour yana so ya zauna, ze fara ce “Am i welcomed here?” Wannan abubuwan da yake tambaya kafin yayi yasa bana cewa a'a. Duk abinda yace eh haka ne, bana cewa a'a ba haka bane ba. Ina jin tsoro amma na fara ganin kwarjinin shi matuƙa shiyasa bana tarayya dashi yanzu an kai tsawon wata ɗaya kuma na fara cewa a'a ga dukkan abubuwan da yake so. Bana ganin ɓacin ran shi ga dukkan abinda nake mishi. Wannan shine abinda yake bani tsoro game dashi. Kuma ba fa so nake ya sake ni bane. Idan ya sake ni, ya zanyi da trauman kirana bazawara da mutane zasu yi da kuma ganin laifi na akan sakin bayan na gama da trauman na jima ban yi aure ba a wurin mutanen mu. 

Gani nake idan mutum ya yarda da komai Allah ke yi, be kamata ya matsawa wani akan aure ba, saboda ko mutum yana so ko baya so, idan lokacin da Allah yasa masa yayi aure yayi, se yayi auren ko yana so ko baya so. Wannan tunani na ne wanda nasan ina iya yin kuskure a cikin shi. Wataƙila idan baka so kayi aure, to ba zaka yi ba. Idan kana so ne kawai zaka yi. 

Ɗaga idanuna nake yi ahankali ta ƙasa ina kallon shi ya shigo kenan daga sallar Isha daga masallaci. Rufe idanuna nayi na buɗe ina me cigaba da kallon shi har ya wuce ɗakin shi. Tunani ɗaya yazo min a rai , yadda wasu maza idan suka zama successful irin haka suke kula mata dayawa ko kuma mata suna kula su suna kawo musu kansu, shi Zaid baya yi ne ko kuwa yana da nashi ƴan mata ni ce kawai ban sani ba. Ajiyar zuciya na sauke ina jin ɓacin rai a cikin zuciya ta. Ban san ya akayi ba yanzu nake son sanin abubuwa game dashi. Wani ɓacin rai na ƙara ji jin ina son na san shi. 

Tashi nayi na shiga ɗakin da nake zama ina samun tunani kala kala a cikin raina. Jiya mun tafi gidansu ina so na tambaye Rahama ko tana lafiya amma ban ce mata komai ba bayan mun gaisa bana son Mummy tayi tunanin wani abu. 

Yaya Hauwa, bana tunanin tana wani ƙaunata ko kuma wataƙila tasan abinda yake faruwa a gidanmu. Nasan duk abinda take min, tana yi ne saboda Zaid, saboda irin ƙaunar da take mishi. 

Mahaifin Zaid yana da kirki sosai haka nake jin yana jina kamar ƴar shi da ya haifa. 

A cikin lokacin matar Muhammad, Zainab, ta haihu. Lokacin da muka tafi asibiti duba ta, mun samu Yaya Hauwa take cewa saura ni na haihu. Murmushi kawai nayi ban ce komai ba saboda ko yanzu na samu wani ciki zan sake zubarwa ne. 

Wata ɗaya da haihuwar Zainab, na lura da Zaid yana yin aiki sosai a lokutan nan kuma mostly a gida. A cikin study nashi yake shiga, sallah ce kawai ke fitowa dashi. He looks tired idanun shi na sauka sosai ina ƙara ganin kyawun shi a haka. 

Fitowa ta daga wurin aiki kenan ina tunanin shi ina tuƙi zuwa gida. Nasan a gida babu dafaffen abinci kuma ko na koma ba shiga kitchen zan yi ba. Hanyar Nkoyo na biyo na tsaya ban fito ba ina tunanin shiga ciki na siya mishi abinci ina kuma tunani against it. Tada mota nayi na wuce, zuciya ta cike da tunani kala kala da irin kyautatawar su a gare ni, har Yayar shi da nake tunanin bata ra'ayi na. Juyawa baya nayi na koma Nkoyo ɗinnan na shiga na siyo mishi abinci da dahuwar kifi. 

Bayan na iso gida, ɗakina na wuce na fara yin wanka na shirya cikin ƙaramar doguwar riga da ta wuce guiwa ta. Fitar shi naji saboda kiran sallah maghrib da ake. A lokacin ne na samu shiga kitchen na zube abinci a plate, dahuwar kifi a bowl na kawo a dining table. Duk ruwan da nake ganin yana sha ban taɓa ganin ya sha me sanyi ba, so ruwan dake ƙasa a wurin dinning table namu na ɗauka na ɗora a dining table. Akwai chilled exotic a fridge na ɗauko mishi duk na aza da spoon da fork. 

Dawowar shi ina parlour ina danna waya ta amma shi nake jira. Har ya fara tafiya zuwa studyn shi nace “Ba ka gajiya ne?” Tsayawa yayi yana mamakin abinda nace se kuma ya juyo amma ya amsa da “Dole zan yi aiki.”

  “Zaka ci abinci? Na ɗan tsaya a restaurant ne na siya”

Idanun Zaid suka ɗaga yana kallo na da mamaki da amusement “Abinci?” naji ya faɗa ciki-ciki.

“A'a, idan baka ci babu komai. I just thought maybe.....

 “No, it's okay, I'll eat”

“Okay. Okay. Yana kan dining na aje maka. Mu tafi ka ci amma ni bana jin yunwa” na faɗa tare da tashi tsaye. Murmushi naga yayi ya bi baya na har muka isa dining table ya zauna nima na zauna ina danna waya ta amma duk da haka be hana ina jin idanun shi akaina ba nasan mamaki yake marar misaltawa. Nima danna wayar kawai nake amma hankalina na kanshi inda ba kan period na nake ba, I'd have initiated an intimacy. 

Bayan ya gama cin abinci da kanshi ya kwashe kwanukan ban amsa ba kar yayi tunanin wani abu. A cikin parlour na dawo na zauna. Bayan ya fito daga kitchen yayi tsaye a wurin kujerar dake kallona “Nagode Diza. Allah yayi albarka”

Murmushi kawai nayi ban ce komai ba. 

   “Zan yi tafiya ranar Talata”

Ɗago idanuna nayi na kalle shi. “Wane gari?”

“A country this time. Australia”

   “Oh” nace

“Sati biyu zan yi”

Nodding Kai nayi ina tunanin yayi yawa. “Da kai da waye zaku tafi?” 

   “From my office tho not leisure. Four of us”

    “All men like yourself?” nace tare da ɗaga gira ta

    “Three men and one woman” ya amsa ni. Ƙwaƙwalwa ta babu abinda ta bani se cewa wannan ɗayar matar da za'a tafi da ita, shi take so. Gyaɗa kai nayi “Jibi ne talata kuma. Yau kake faɗa min” 

   “Bamu zauna tare ba shiyasa ban faɗa miki ba”

  “Kana da niyyar faɗa min ma? Da ban baka abinci ba, zaka faɗa min?”

   “Diza!” yace yana kallo na da idanun shi. Kila fushin da yake ɓoyewa akaina yayi saurin ɓoyewa yace “Kiyi haƙuri”

    “Babu komai” na faɗa da murmushi “Allah ya kai ku lafiya”

     “Amin, Nagode”

Daga haka ya wuce studyn shi. 

Washegari da dare, ina kwance a ɗakina saboda avoiding nashi nake duk ranar, ya shigo. Ƙamshin turaren shi ya fara zuwan min kafin ya ƙaraso daidai gadon da nake kwance. Rufe idanuna nayi ina tunanin ze tafi ya ƙyale ni amma se yace “Diza ki tashi. Nasan ba bacci kike ba”

Be ƙara yin magana ba na buɗe idanuna ina kallon shi cikin idanu. Idanun shi sun ƙara haske a ciki, eyeballs ɗin shi too dark. He looks at me with both affection and lust. But he's not getting anything from me today. I know it for sure. 

    “Ki zauna ina so muyi magana ne”

Tashi daga kwancen da nake nayi na zauna akan gadon. Zama yayi daidai daura dani yana kallo na ko blinking baya so yayi yace “Kin san menene aure, Diza?”

I was really taken aback by his question yasa na blinking idanuna sau biyu ahankali. 

   “Yes, do you know what it means when we say a man and a woman are married?”

Shiru nayi ban ce komai ba. “Dake nake magana Hadiza”

     “Ba kace kana so ba shiyasa”

   “Kin bani fuskar da zan ce ina so?”

   “Of course, fuska na lafiya yake”

   “Are you listening to yourself?” Zaid yace yana kallo na. Zancen da muke yi ba na zama calm ne ba but he's calm, he's just sending a message. 

    “Let's stop talking about this. I'm on my period today”

     “Really? I'd like to check then” 

Da sauri na tashi tsaye jin abinda yace saboda ni ban taɓa sanin wannan gefen nashi ba. 

   “Wata biyu kenan muna zaune tare dake amma kallon juna kawai muke yi. Wait, muna kallon juna? Ke ƙarfe ce ko baki da lafiya?”

    “Kasan ba ƙarfe nake ba. Da kuma bani da lafiya da ka sani tun ba yanzu ba because I think I'm good on our bed”

   “Are you ready for this conversation?”

Tsaye nake ina kallon shi. “I'm not and I'm on my period”

  “Okay, goodnight” yace ya tashi ya fita. Kasa zama nayi nayi tsaye ina tunanin duk maganar da ya faɗa min. 

Washegari da safe Hadiza bata min maganar ko zata rakani airport ba ni kuma ban mata maganar ta taho mu tafi ba. Nasan saboda kar nace mata komai yasa ta fita da sauri wurin aikin ta. A office ɗin mu dake Abuja na wuce Yaya Muhammad ne ya kai ni. A chan muka wuce Nnamdi Azikiwe Int'l Airport. Muna chan kafin mu tafi Yaya Hauwa ta taho saboda na jima ban yi irin wannan tafiyar zuwa wata ƙasa ba. 

Kallon surrounding ɗin mu tayi kamar me neman wani mutum tace “Hadiza fa?”

Yi nayi kamar ban ji ba saboda ban san abinda zan faɗa mata ba. “Nace Hadiza fa, Zaid?”

“Tana da important work ne a Ministry”

“Aikin da gare ta ne ze hana mata zuwa ta gan ka off for a few minutes?” Yaya Hauwa tace cikin fushi 

Shiru nayi ban ce komai ba ita kuma ta tsare ni da idanun ta tana son sake cewa wani abu amma tayi shiru ba tace komai ba har na wuce tana min Allah ya kai lafiya na kula da kaina.