THE BLAME GAME

*KADDARAR ZUCIYA*

*CHAPTER TEN: 10*

*THE BLAME GAME*

*JIDDAAH BARKUM*

—————

Washegari da safe, Inteesar ta fito daga ɗakinta cikin shirin tafiya makaranta, ta yi sallama da Nana a falo, sannan ta nufi motar Yaya Umar da zai kai ta makaranta, ta shiga ta zauna a kujerar baya, tana gyara jakar da ke cinyarta, ba da daɗewa ba, sai wayarta ta yi ƙara, alamar shigowar saƙo, ta ɗauko wayar, ta buɗe saƙon da sauri, ba tare da ta lura da lokacin da Umar ya shigo motar ya zauna a kujerar direba ba, hankalinta gaba ɗaya yana kan wayar, Unknown Number: “Make sure kin mayar da hankali a makaranta today, wish you all the best, beautiful,” Inteesar ta zaro ido kaɗan, sannan ta sauke numfashi, “Again?” ta furta a hankali, tana kallon saƙon, ta riga ta saba da ganin saƙonnin wannan lambar, amma hakan bai sa ta daina jin wani irin tsoro a duk lokacin da ta ga sunansa na sirri ya bayyana ba, Umar, wanda ya daɗe a zaune yana nazarinta ta cikin madubin motar, ya lura cewa hankalinta gaba ɗaya yana kan wayar, ya ɗan daure fuska kafin ya katse shirun, “Hankalinki duka yana kan wayar nan, ko?” Inteesar ba ta ji ba saboda tana karanta saƙon, Umar ya juya kaɗan, ya zuba mata ido, “Inteesar!” A firgice ta ɗago kai, ta zaro idanunta, “Yes, Yaya?” “Hand it over to me, now,” ya faɗa cikin murya mai tsauri, babu alamar wasa a fuskarsa, gabanta ya faɗi, ta kalli wayar da ke hannunta, sannan ta mayar da kallonta gare shi, “Yaya, I—” “Did you hear what I said?” Ta haɗiye miyau da ƙyar, “Yes, Yaya,” ta fara miƙa masa wayar a hankali, zuciyarta na bugawa da sauri, a cikin kanta kuwa, tunanin abin da zai faru idan ya ga saƙonnin ya fara dawo mata, ya Allah, not now, please, not now! A daidai lokacin da take shirin miƙa masa wayar, sai Nana ta fito da sauri daga gidan, tana riƙe da wayar Umar, “Babe! Ka manta da wayarka a kan dining, kana sauri,” Umar ya juya ya kalleta, sannan ya karɓi wayarsa, “Thank you,” ya faɗa a taƙaice, yana ajiye wayar a gefensa, Nana ta ɗan leƙa cikin motar, ta kalli Inteesar, “Allah ya Bada sa’a, Intee,” Inteesar ta tilasta wa kanta murmushi, “Ameen, Yaya Nana,” Nana ta rufe ƙofar motar, Umar kuma ya yi reverse, sannan suka fice daga gidan, da motar ta fara tafiya, Inteesar ta yi saurin mayar da wayarta cikin jaka, ta jingina da kujerar, tana sauke wani dogon numfashi na tsoro, that was too close, ta rufe idanunta na ɗan lokaci, tana ƙoƙarin kwantar da hankalinta, a wannan safiyar, ta fahimci cewa ba wai saƙonnin mutumin kaɗai ne matsala ba, idan Yaya Umar ya gano abin da ke faruwa, za ta iya shiga matsala mai girma, bayan Umar ya ajiye ta a makaranta, ya juya motarsa zuwa wajen aikinsa, ita kuma ta nufi lecture hall, tana ƙoƙarin mayar da hankalinta kan karatu, duk da cewa zuciyarta ba ta da cikakkiyar natsuwa, bayan an gama lectures ɗin ranar, harabar Nile University ta fara yin shiru-shiru yayin da ɗalibai ke watsewa kamar ruwan da aka zuba, Inteesar tana tafiya tare da Amira, amma hankalinta ba ya tare da jikinta, kowane taku da take yi, tana jin kamar wani abu na bin ta a bayanta, sau biyu ta waiwaya, tana ƙoƙarin gano ko akwai wanda yake biye da su, amma ba ta ga wani abu da ya ba ta dalilin damuwa ba, Amira ta lura da yadda take yi, amma ba ta ce komai ba tukuna, suna isa masallacin jami’ar, suka shiga yin sallar La’asar kafin su wuce gida, bayan sun idar, ba su fito nan take ba, suka zauna a wani kusurwa mai natsuwa, inda iska ke shiga a hankali ta cikin tagogin masallacin, tana kawo wani irin sanyin da ya dace da yanayin wajen, Amira ce ta fara lura da yanayin Inteesar, idanunta ba su tsaya wuri ɗaya, hannunta na wasa da gefen hijab ɗinta, kamar zuciyarta tana wani wuri daban, “Intee… me ke damunki?” Amira ta tambaya a hankali, tana kallonta da damuwa, wannan tambayar ta karya katangar shirun da ya sauka a tsakaninsu, Inteesar ta matsa kusa da ita nan take, muryarta ƙasa-ƙasa kamar tana tsoron wani ya ji, “Amira… yau na kusa shiga uku,” ta faɗa tana zaro ido kaɗan, “Na kusa shiga matsala sosai,” Amira ta gyara zamanta, “What happened again?” Inteesar ta sauke numfashi, sannan ta fara ba ta labarin abin da ya faru tun daren jiya, ta gaya mata yadda ta ji takun mutum a corridor ɗin ɗakinta, yadda zuciyarta ta tsaya cak tana tunanin ko shi ne, da yadda ta kasa samun barci har gari ya waye, sannan ta kai ga safiyar yau, yadda Umar ya kafe ta da ido a cikin mota kamar yana karanta duk abin da ke zuciyarta ba tare da ta yi magana ba, yadda ya nemi wayarta, yadda jikinta ya kusa kamawa da wuta saboda tsananin firgici lokacin da ta fara miƙa masa ita, sai dai Nana ta fito da sauri da wayar Umar da ya manta a gida, kuma hakan ya ceci komai, lokacin da take magana, hannunta yana rawa, “Amira… idan ba don Yaya Nana ta fito ba, da yau komai ya ƙare, da ya ga messages ɗin nan, I don’t even know what would have happened to me,” ta dafe ƙirjinta kamar numfashinta na ƙoƙarin fita, Amira ta yi shiru na ɗan lokaci, wannan ba irin labarin da ake ɗauka da wasa ba ne, abin ya fara wuce wasa zuwa wani abu mai nauyi, “Intee,” Amira ta faɗa a hankali, “kina cikin wani abu da ya fi ƙarfin ki, this is no longer funny, wannan hiding game ɗin nan ya fara zama trap,” Inteesar ta girgiza kai da sauri, kamar ba ta son jin hakan, “Amira, ban ma san waye ba, amma ina jin tsoro, alamun saƙonninsa suna nuna cewa ya san duk motsina, kamar yana bibiyata ne, duk inda na je,” wannan kalmar ta sa Amira ta dube ta sosai, ta matsa kusa da ita, “Ki saurare ni da kyau, ki je gida, ki tura masa saƙo na ƙarshe, ba wasa ba, ba begging ba, ki ba shi ultimatum, either ya bayyana kansa, ko kuma ki rufe wannan babin gaba ɗaya,” Inteesar ta zuba mata ido, “I’m serious, Intee,” Amira ta cigaba, “Ki cire shi daga rayuwarki idan ya ƙi, because idan ba ki yi haka ba, wannan sirrin zai ci gaba da cinye ki a hankali, ba za ki iya rayuwa cikin tsoro a kullum ba,” kalaman Amira sun zauna a zuciyar Inteesar kamar dutse, ta sunkuyar da kanta, tana nazarin maganar ƙawarta, a wani ɓangare na zuciyarta, tana son sanin ko waye wannan mutumin, amma a wani ɓangaren kuma, tana jin tsoron abin da zai faru idan ta gano gaskiyar, what if the truth is worse than the mystery itself? Ta girgiza kai a hankali, tana ƙoƙarin kawar da wannan tunanin, ranar ta ci gaba da tafiya, amma Inteesar ba ta kasance cikin kanta ba, har ta koma gidan Yaya Umar, jikinta yana aiki amma zuciyarta tana wani wuri daban, gidan Umar kuwa, kamar koyaushe, yana cikin tsari, nutsuwa, da wani irin ƙarfin iko da ba a tattauna shi, Umar mutum ne da ba ya yawan magana, amma idan ya yi magana, kalamansa suna da nauyi fiye da tsawa, idan ya kalle ka, kana jin kamar an cire maka sirrinka daga jikinka, a daren nan, bayan kowa ya kwanta, shiru ya ratsa gidan gaba ɗaya, Inteesar ta zauna a bakin gadonta, fitilar ɗaki a kashe, sai hasken wayarta kaɗai ke haskaka fuskarta, zuciyarta na bugawa, ta buɗe WhatsApp, lambar nan, ta shiga chat ɗin, tana kallon tsoffin saƙonnin da suka cika wajen, hannunta yana rawa sosai lokacin da ta fara rubutu, Inteesar: “Na kusa shiga matsala sosai yau, Yaya Umar ya kusa ganin komai a safiyar yau, na gaji da wannan rayuwar ɓoye-ɓoye, if you really love me, ka zaɓa yanzu, ko ka bayyana kanka gobe, ko na rufe babinka gaba ɗaya, I will block you forever,” ta danna send da sauri, kamar idan ta jinkirta, za ta ja da baya, da zarar saƙon ya tafi, ta ajiye wayar a gefenta, tana kallon allon na wasu seconds, mintuna suka wuce, babu reply, ta ɗauki wayar ta sake dubawa, babu komai, zuciyarta ta fara nauyi, ta kalli screen ɗin kamar tana neman amsa a ciki, “Maybe he won’t reply,” ta furta a hankali, ta yi ƙoƙarin kwanciya, amma ta kasa, ta juya daga wannan gefe zuwa wancan, tana jin kamar zuciyarta ba za ta ba ta damar hutawa ba, har dare ya zurfi sosai, gidan ya koma cikin irin shirun da ke sa mutum jin nauyin tunaninsa, sai wayarta ta yi vibration, Inteesar ta miƙe zaune da sauri, ta ɗauki wayar, ta buɗe saƙon, Unknown Number: “Kin gaji da ɓoye-ɓoye, beautiful… amma kina son ganin gaskiya? Ki sani, idan na fito, babu komawa baya, kuma abin da kike tsoro daga Umar… zai zama ƙaramin abu idan aka kwatanta da abin da zai biyo baya,” ta tsaya cak, idanunta na bin kalmomin a hankali, ta sake karanta saƙon, fuskarta ta sauya, “What does he mean by that?” ta tambayi kanta, saƙon ya ci gaba, Unknown Number: “Duk da haka… na amince, gobe da yamma, a makarantarku, Nile University, behind the library garden, ki zo ke kaɗai,” wayar ta kusan zamewa daga hannunta, zuciyarta ta buga sosai har ta ji kamar za ta fita daga ƙirjinta, wani ɓangare nata yana tsoro, wani ɓangare kuma yana son sanin gaskiya, bayan duk waɗannan saƙonnin, bayan duk tsoron da ya jefa ta ciki, a ƙarshe zai bayyana kansa, ta dafe goshinta da tafin hannunta, “Ya Allah, what am I supposed to do now?” Ta sake kallon saƙon, behind the library garden, come alone, kalmar come alone ta sa ta haɗiye miyau, ta san Amira za ta ce kada ta je ita kaɗai, amma ita kanta ba ta san ko za ta iya jurewa ba tare da ta gano wanda yake bayan wannan lambar ba, ta kwanta a hankali, ta ɗora wayar a kan ƙirjinta, a wannan daren, barci ya ƙaurace mata, domin washegari, tana iya fuskantar mutumin da ya kwashe mako guda yana tayar mata da hankali, washegari, gidan Yaya Umar ya kasance kamar kullum tsari, shiru, da dokoki marasa wasa, amma cikin wannan shirun, Inteesar ba ta da natsuwa, kowane minti tana jin lokaci na tafiya mata kamar wuka a jiki, ta yi ƙoƙarin karatu da safe, amma ba ta iya mayar da hankali, tunaninta yana kan saƙon da aka turo mata a daren jiya, da yamma ta shirya zuwa makaranta kamar yadda ta saba, ba ta yi wani ado na musamman ba, ta dai shirya cikin nutsuwa, ta sa hijab ɗinta, sannan ta ɗauki jakarta, amma a cikin zuciyarta, komai yana tafiya a guje, ta fito daga ɗakinta, ta nufi wajen Nana domin ta yi mata magana cewa za ta je makaranta, Nana tana zaune a bedroom dinta tana duba wasu abubuwa a wayarta, “Yaya Nana, zan fita zuwa school,” Nana ta ɗago kai ta kalleta, “Yanzu? Ba yau ba ne ranar da ba ki da lectures?” Inteesar ta ɗan tsaya cak, “Eh… amma akwai abin da zan duba a library,” Nana ta gyada kai a hankali, “To, Allah ya kiyaye, ki kula da kanki,” “ İn Shaa Allah, Yaya Nana,” Inteesar ta juya ta fita, amma kafin ta kai ga ƙofar fita daga falo, muryar Umar ta dakatar da ita daga baya, “Inteesar,” ta tsaya nan take, gabanta ya faɗi, ta yi shiru na ɗan lokaci kafin ta juyo a hankali, tana tilasta wa kanta yin murmushin yaƙe, “Na’am, Yaya Umar,” Umar yana tsaye kusa da doguwar kujera, hannayensa sanye a aljihun wandonsa, fuskarsa babu ko alamun murmushi, ya zuba mata idanunsa masu kwarjini da bincike, “Ina za ki je haka cikin shiri?” Inteesar ta ji kamar an cire mata ƙarfinta, “Zan… zan tafi makaranta ne, Yaya, akwai abin da zan duba a library,” ta ba da amsa cikin kame-kame, muryarta tana ɗan rawa, Umar ya ɗan karkatar da kansa, yana kallonta na wasu seconds, “Inteesar,” ya faɗi sunanta a hankali, amma muryarsa ta isa ta sa ta ƙara jin tsoro, “Na duba jadawalin karatunki na Nile University, kuma na san sarai cewa yau ba ranar lectures ɗinki ba ce, ba ki da wani aji a yau,” ya ɗan dakata, “So tell me the truth, ina za ki je?” Jikin Inteesar ya ɗauki rawa, ta rasa abin da za ta ce, ta shiga rarraba idanu tana kallon ƙasa, “Dama… dama Amira ce ta ce mu haɗu mu yi wani assignment,” “Hmm,” Umar ya furta yana ɗaga gira ɗaya, “Really?” Inteesar ta haɗiye miyau, “Yes, Yaya,” Umar ya matso kusa da ita kaɗan, yana kallonta kai tsaye, “Inteesar, I don’t like lies, kuma ba na son in maimaita magana sau biyu,” ta sunkuyar da kanta, “I’m sorry, Yaya,” “Ba za ki fita ba, tunda babu karatu yau, ki koma ɗakinki ki zauna, jami’ar Nile ba wajen yawo ba ce, ki yi assignment ɗinki ke kaɗai, ita ma ta yi nata,” ya faɗa cikin murya mai nuna iko da doka, Inteesar ta ɗaga kai ta kalle shi, amma da ta ga yanayin fuskarsa, sai ta sake sunkuyar da kanta, “To, Yaya,” ta juya a hankali, tana ƙoƙarin danne takaicin da ya cika zuciyarta, da ta shiga ɗakinta, ta rufe ƙofar a hankali, sannan ta faɗa kan gado kamar duniya ta nauye mata, hawaye suka taru a idanunta, “Why does everything have to be this difficult?” ta furta cikin kuka, ta ɗauki pillow ta matse a ƙirjinta, tana ƙoƙarin kwantar da hankalinta, ta rasa tsawon lokacin da ta yi a haka, har sai da wayarta ta yi vibration, da sauri ta ɗago ta ɗauka, saƙo ne daga wannan lambar, Unknown Number: “Na zo lambun bayan library kamar yadda muka yi alƙawari, na jira ki har yamma ta yi, amma ba ki zo ba, da alama tsoron Yaya Umar ya yi miki yawa, ko kuma ba kya da dauriya irin tawa, ke ce ba ki cika alƙawari ba…” Ta dafe bakinta, hawaye suka taru a idanunta, sannan ɗaya ya gangaro a hankali kan kumatunta, “Ba da son raina ba ne…” ta furta a cikin kuka, ta sake karanta saƙon, kalaman sun yi mata zafi fiye da yadda ta zata, ba wai saboda ya zarge ta da rashin cika alƙawari ba ne kawai, amma saboda ta san cewa tana son ta je, tana son ta san ko waye shi, sai dai ba ta da ikon yin abin da take so a wannan gidan, ta goge hawayenta da bayan hannunta, sannan ta ajiye wayar a gefenta, amma a cikin zuciyarta, wani abu ya fara sauyawa, ba ta san ko wannan mutumin yana ƙoƙarin jawo ta ne ta hanyar amfani da tsoronta, ko kuwa da gaske yana son ta san ko waye shi, abin da ta sani kawai shi ne, wannan saƙon ya ƙara rikita mata tunani ne, kwanaki biyu suka shuɗe, abin mamaki kuwa, tun bayan saƙon da ya turo mata na zarginta da rashin cika alƙawari, lambar sirrin ta yi shiru gaba ɗaya, babu “Good morning, beautiful,” babu “Sleep tight,” babu wani saƙo ko guda, a farko, Inteesar ta ji daɗi, ta yi tunanin wataƙila ya yi fushi ya haƙura da ita, wataƙila ma hakan shi ne mafi alheri, finally, some peace, ta faɗa a ranta, tana ƙoƙarin gamsar da kanta cewa komai ya ƙare, amma da ranar farko ta wuce babu saƙo… da rana ta biyu ta zo babu saƙo… sai ta fara lura da wani abu da ya ba ta mamaki, kullum sai ta tsinci kanta tana buɗe WhatsApp ba tare da wani dalili ba, wani lokaci tana ɗaukar wayarta, ta buɗe WhatsApp, sannan ta shiga chat ɗinsu kai tsaye, idan ta ga babu sabon saƙo, sai ta ji wani irin yanayi da ba ta iya fahimtar ma’anarsa, a cikin lectures ma, idan lecturer yana koyarwa, sau da yawa sai ta ji hannunta ya nufi wayarta, tana dubawa ko akwai wani notification, har watarana Amira ta lura da rashin natsuwarta, “Intee,” Inteesar ta ɗago kai daga wayarta, “Hmm?” Amira ta yi murmushi tana girgiza kai, “Professor yana ta wahalar da kansa a gaba, amma ke tun minti goma da suka wuce sau uku kina duba WhatsApp,” Inteesar ta daure fuska, ta kashe screen ɗin wayarta, “So?” Amira ta ɗaga gira, “So? Nothing, dear, I was just wondering ko akwai wani important message da kike jira,” Inteesar ta ɗan juya tana kallonta, “Ba komai,” Amira ta karkatar da kanta, tana kallonta da murmushin wanda ya riga ya gano wani abu, “Mr. Mystery ne ko?” Nan take Inteesar ta girgiza kai, “Please, Amira,” Amira ta yi dariya a hankali, “To, me ya sa kike ta duba wayar kamar mai jiran sakamakon exam?” Inteesar ta yi shiru, ta kasa ba da amsa, domin gaskiyar magana ita kanta ba ta fahimci kanta ba, mutumin da ya fara tsoratar da ita… mutumin da ta so ta yi blocking ɗinsa… mutumin da har yanzu ba ta san ko waye ba… rashinsa ne yanzu yake hana ta samun natsuwa, ta sunkuyar da kanta, tana wasa da gefen hijab ɗinta, what is wrong with me? Ta tambayi kanta a zuciyarta, ta yaya za ta damu da rashin saƙon mutumin da ya kwashe mako guda yana tsoratar da ita? Ta yaya za ta fara jin rashin wani da ba ta taɓa gani ba? A’a, ba zai yiwu ba, wataƙila kawai tana son sanin ko waye shi ne, yes, that must be it, ta gyada kanta a hankali kamar tana ƙoƙarin gamsar da kanta, da yamma, tana zaune a ɗakinta bayan ta gama assignment, ta sake ɗaukar wayarta, ta buɗe WhatsApp, babu saƙo, ta sauke numfashi, “To, ai shi ne abin da nake so tun farko…” ta faɗa a hankali, amma zuciyarta ta kasa yarda da hakan, ta ajiye wayar a gefenta, ta ɗauki littafinta, amma ba ta iya karatu ba, bayan wasu mintuna, sai ta sake ɗaukar wayar, har yanzu babu saƙo, ta buɗe chat ɗinsu, tana kallon tsoffin saƙonnin da suka cika wajen, a wannan lokacin ne Nana ta shigo ɗakin, ta same ta zaune a gefen gado tana kallon screen din wayarta, Nana ta ɗan tsaya a ƙofar, tana kallonta da murmushi, “Intee, wa kike jira haka?” Inteesar ta firgita kaɗan, ta yi saurin kashe screen ɗin wayarta, “Babu kowa, Yaya Nana,” Nana ta ɗan ɗaga gira, “Babu kowa amma kin kasa rabuwa da wayar?” Inteesar ta ɗan yi murmushin yaƙe, “I’m just checking something,” Nana ta yi dariya a hankali, “Hmm… Allah ya sa toh,” ta juya ta fita daga ɗakin, tana barin Inteesar da tunaninta, da Nana ta fita, Inteesar ta sake ɗaukar wayar, ta shiga chat ɗinsu, ta karanta tsoffin saƙonninsu ɗaya bayan ɗaya, har ta kai ga saƙon ƙarshe da ya turo mata, “Na jira ki har yamma ta yi, amma ba ki zo ba, da alama tsoron Yaya Umar ya yi miki yawa, ko kuma ba kya da dauriya irin tawa, ke ce ba ki cika alƙawari ba…” Inteesar ta cije laɓɓanta, tana jin wani irin nauyi a ƙirjinta, “Ni ma ba da son raina ba ne…” ta furta a hankali, ta yi shiru na wasu seconds, sannan ta girgiza kanta da sauri, “Subhanallah! Me yake damuna ne haka?” Ta kulle wayar, ta ajiye ta a gefe, sannan ta jingina da pillow ɗinta, amma ko da ta rufe idanunta, tunaninsa ya ƙi barinta, tunanin saƙonninsa, tunanin ganinsa, tunanin yadda zai kasance idan ta san ko waye shi, kuma duk da cewa ta yi ƙoƙarin kawar da waɗannan tunane-tunane, zuciyarta ta ci gaba da komawa gare shi, saboda a karo na farko tun bayan mutuwar Ahmad… Inteesar ta fara jin kamar tana kewar mutumin da ba ta taɓa gani ba, a stranger whose absence had somehow begun to matter, kuma abin da ya fi ba ta tsoro shi ne… ba ta san dalilin da ya sa ba…

*** ✍️