THE UNBENDING WILL

*KADDARAR ZUCIYA*

*CHAPTER FIFTEEN: 15*

*THE UNBENDING WILL*

*JIDDAAH BARKUM*

————

Falon Daddy ya sake yin tsit, sai ƙarar sanyin air conditioner da ke kadawa a hankali, Yaya Umar yana gurfane a ƙasa, kansa a sunkuye cikin tsantsar sanyin gwiwa, yayin da yake jiran hukuncin Daddy bayan ya roƙi a bar Inteesar ta koma Abuja don kada karatunta ya lalace, a gefe guda kuwa, Inteesar tana lafe a jikin Mommy Haleema, har yanzu fuskarta cike da alamun kukan da ta yi, ba ta iya kallon Umar kai tsaye, domin duk lokacin da ta tuna cewa shi ne mutumin da yake aika mata da saƙonnin da suka hana ta samun nutsuwa na tsawon kwanaki, sai wani sabon zafi ya ratsa zuciyarta, Daddy ya gyara zamansa, idanuwansa a kan Inteesar, “Fateema, kin ji abin da Umar ya faɗa, karatunki shi ne gaba da komai, I think you should go back and finish your studies,” Inteesar ta ɗago kanta da sauri.

Idanuwanta sun kumbura saboda kuka, amma a cikinsu akwai wani irin ƙarfi da ya bayyana bayan duk abin da ta sha, ta kalli Daddy, sannan ta juya kallonta zuwa ga Umar, the look she gave him was different, ba kallon da ta saba yi wa wanda take kira Yaya ba ne, wannan kallon ya ƙunshi ɓacin rai, takaici, da kuma wani irin broken trust da kalmomi ba za su iya bayyana girmansa ba, “Daddy, ba zan iya komawa Abuja ba,” ta faɗa, muryarta na rawa, “I can’t live under the same roof with someone who played with my sanity for months!” Ta ɗan dakata, tana ƙoƙarin danne hawayen da suka sake taruwa a idanunta, “Na yi ta tunanin ko ni ce nake da matsala, na yi ta tambayar kaina dalilin da ya sa wani yake bibiyata, yana sanin abubuwan da nake yi, har ya san lokacin da nake fita da lokacin da nake dawowa, I was scared, Daddy! I couldn’t even sleep peacefully in my own room!” Muryarta ta karye a ƙarshen maganar.

Mommy Haleema ta matso kusa da ita, ta dafa kafaɗarta cikin lallashi, “Intee, ki yi haƙuri, kin ji?” Ta faɗa a hankali, “Shari’ar dangi daban, rayuwarki kuma daban, he won’t hurt you again, ya yi alƙawarin zai mutunta iyakokinki, kuma karatunki yana da muhimmanci sosai,” Inteesar ta girgiza kai a hankali, “Mommy, you don’t understand, I trusted him!” Ta ɗago kai ta kalli Mommy, idanuwanta cike da raɗaɗi, “Na ɗauke shi a matsayin yayana, ban taɓa tunanin cewa zan taɓa jin tsoron zama a gida ɗaya da shi ba, yanzu kuma kuna son in koma in zauna a ƙarƙashin rufin gidansa kamar babu abin da ya faru?” Mommy Haleema ta numfasa, tana jin zafin da ke cikin kalamanta, “Na fahimce ki, daughter, I really do, amma ki ba kanki dama ki ci gaba da rayuwarki, kada abin da ya faru ya sa ki rasa makomarki, karatunki ba shi da laifi a cikin wannan lamarin,” Daddy ma ya shiga lallashinta, yana nuna mata cewa ba wanda yake son ya tilasta mata yin abin da zai ƙara cutar da ita, amma a lokaci guda, ba sa son ta yanke shawarar da za ta iya shafar karatunta da makomarta saboda halin da take ciki a yanzu.

Bayan dogon lallashi da rarrashi, bayan hawaye da kalamai masu nauyi, Inteesar ta ja wani nannauyan numfashi, ta goge hawayenta da gefen hijab ɗinta, sannan ta ɗago kai ta dubi Daddy kai tsaye, “Fine, Daddy, zan amince na koma Abuja na ƙarasa semester ɗinnan,” ta ɗan dakata, sannan ta juya ta kalli Umar, “Amma ina da sharadi guda ɗaya,” Umar ya ɗago kansa a hankali, Inteesar ta ci gaba da magana cikin natsuwa, duk da cewa muryarta na ɗauke da alamun raɗaɗi, “Ba tare da Yaya Umar zan koma ba, he must leave first, ni kuma zan dawo after a week,” ta kalli Daddy domin tabbatar masa da cewa tana da muhimmiyar magana da take son ya fahimta, “Kuma idan na koma gidan, he must completely respect my boundaries, ba zan sake amincewa da wata takurawa ko bibiya daga gare shi ba, I need my privacy, Daddy, I need to feel safe in my own space again,” ta juya ta kalli Umar, wannan karon ba tare da ta kau da idanunta ba, “If he crosses the line again, I will pack my bags for good, I mean it!” Kalmanta sun fito da ƙarfi, babu alamar wasa a cikinsu, Umar ya ɗan ɗago kai, ya kalle ta da idanuwansa masu cike da laifi da roƙo, ya buɗe baki kamar zai yi magana, amma kalmomin suka ƙi fitowa, he knew he had lost her trust, kuma a yanzu, babu wani abu da zai iya faɗa da zai goge abin da ya faru cikin sauƙi, ya amince da sharadinta, not because he wanted to, but because he had no other option.

Daddy ya kalli Inteesar na ɗan lokaci, sannan ya juya ga Mommy, “Ku shiga ciki, zan tattauna da Umar,” Mommy Haleema ta gyada kai, ta miƙe tsaye sannan ta kama hannun Inteesar, “Zo, Intee,” Inteesar ta miƙe ba tare da ta sake kallon Umar ba, ta bi Mommy suka bar falon, ta bar Umar a gurfane a gaban Daddy, da suka fita, maza biyun suka bi su da kallo har suka ɓace daga ƙofar falon, daga nan suka sauke numfashi a tare, Daddy ya dawo da dubansa kan Umar, “Umar…” “Na’am, Daddy,” ya amsa cikin wata murya mai ɗan rawa, Daddy ya ɗan yi shiru kafin ya ci gaba, “Ka yi haƙuri kuma ka yi mata uzuri, ka san wannan wani sirri ne da dole ta firgita bayan ta san gaskiyarsa, ka kuma fahimci cewa abin da ta gani da abin da ta ji a wannan lokacin ba ƙaramin abu ba ne a gare ta,” Umar ya sunkuyar da kansa, “Na fahimta, Daddy, I know I hurt her,” ya haɗiye miyau, yana ƙoƙarin danne nauyin da ke kan zuciyarsa, “A yi min afuwa a kan abin da na aikata, ban yi tunanin cewa abubuwan da nake yi za su kai ta ga wannan yanayin ba,” Daddy kawai kallonsa yake cike da tausayi, daga karshe ya sauke numfashi, sannan ya tambaye shi, “Ka je ka huta, zuwa da safe sai ka juya Abuja, ko?” Umar ya ɗago kansa a hankali, “Daddy, na riga na siya ticket, my flight is at 6:00 p.m, zan wuce airport yanzu don kada nayi missing flight ɗina,” Daddy ya ɗan gyara zamansa, “To, ba damuwa, Allah ya kiyaye, Allah ya yi maka albarka,” “Amin, Daddy,” Umar ya miƙe a sanyaye, ya yi wa Daddy sallama sannan ya bar falon, yana tafiya, tunaninsa ya koma kan Inteesar, ya tuna yadda ta kalle shi, yadda ta faɗi cewa ba za ta iya zama a ƙarƙashin rufin gidansa ba, da kuma yadda ta yi masa barazanar barin gidan har abada idan ya sake ƙetare iyakarta, ya san cewa komawa Abuja ba zai zama kamar yadda yake a da ba, kuma shi ne sanadin hakan, bayan ya isa airport, ya jira lokacin tashin jirginsa, a zuciyarsa kuwa, ya riga ya yanke shawarar cewa zai bar Inteesar ta samu sararin da ta nema, ko da hakan yana nufin zai jure zama a gidan ɗaya da ita ba tare da samun damar yin magana da ita kamar da ba, domin a wannan karon, dole ne ya koyi mutunta iyakarta.

A WEEK LATER, Inteesar ta ɗauki flight ɗinta zuwa Abuja ita kaɗai, duk da cewa ta dawo gidan Yaya Umar da yamma, yanayin gidan ya riga ya canza, komai ya yi kama da yadda yake a da, amma a gare ta, gidan ba shi da irin tsohuwar ma’anar da yake da ita, the house was the same, but she wasn’t, Nana ta yi ƙoƙarin janta da hira tun daga lokacin da ta shigo, tana son rage mata zafin da take ji a zuciyarta, amma Inteesar ba ta kasance cikin yanayin yin doguwar hira ba, ta amsa tambayoyin Nana a taƙaice, sannan ta wuce kai tsaye zuwa ɗakinta, ba ta ko kalli ɓangaren Umar ba, ta shiga ɗakinta, ta rufe ƙofa, sannan ta faɗa kan gado cikin gajiya, ta lumshe idanunta, tana jin kamar ta yi tafiya mai nisa fiye da sa’o’in da ta ɗauka a jirgi, ta yi kewar Abuja, amma ba ta yi kewar yanayin da ta bari a cikinta ba, she needed peace, she needed space, and most importantly, she needed time to heal, wajen ƙarfe tara na dare, dukan gidan ya yi tsit, Inteesar na kwance a kan gado tana kallon silin ɗin ɗakinta cikin duhu, tunaninta ya yi nisa, tana ƙoƙarin saba wa sabon yanayin rayuwarta, amma a duk lokacin da ta tuna da abubuwan da suka faru, sai zuciyarta ta yi nauyi, a hankali aka tura ƙofar ɗakinta, Nana ce ta shigo cikin shirin barci, ta rufe ƙofar a bayanta, ta ƙarasa ta zauna a gefen Inteesar, sannan ta ɗora hannunta a kan ƙafarta, Inteesar ta ɗago da lumsassun idanunta ta dubi Nana, “Intee,” Nana ta kira ta cikin sanyin murya, “Wani abu ya faru ne? Tun da kika dawo, kika shiga ɗaki ba ki fito ba, ina ce wannan maganar tsakaninki da Yaya Umar ta wuce? Uhm?” Inteesar ta ɗago da sauri ta dubi Nana, “What are you talking about, Yaya Nana?” Nana ta yi murmushi kaɗan, kamar wadda ta fahimci cewa Inteesar ba ta son a ci gaba da maganar, “Kin san me nake magana a kai, ki saki jikinki, kin ji? Ki cire komai a ranki, ki yi abin da yake gabanki, kada ki takura kanki a kan maganar nan, don Allah, na roƙe ki,” Inteesar ta zuba wa Nana ido, ta kasa cewa uffan, ba dai Nana ta san da duk wannan ba? Ta ci gaba da kallon Nana, tana ƙoƙarin fahimtar abin da ke zuciyarta, amma Nana ba ta ƙara cewa komai ba, ta miƙe a hankali, ta yi mata murmushi sannan ta nufi ƙofa, “Goodnight, Intee, ki yi ƙoƙarin samun barci, okay?” “Goodnight,” Inteesar ta amsa a hankali, Nana ta fita, ta jawo ƙofar a hankali har ta rufe, Inteesar ta ci gaba da kallon ƙofar na ɗan lokaci, tana da tambayoyi da yawa a ranta, amma ta yanke shawarar cewa ba wannan ne lokacin neman amsoshinsu ba, ta juya ta kwanta sosai, ta lumshe idanunta.

NILE UNIVERSITY, washegari da safe, Inteesar ta nufi makaranta ranta a sanyaye, da ta shiga cafeteria, sai ta tarar da Amira zaune a wani tebur, tana kallon wayarta kamar wadda ta daɗe tana jiranta, da Amira ta gan ta, ta ɗago kai da sauri, “Intee!” Ta ajiye wayarta, ta matsa mata kujera, “Come and sit, finally! Kin san sau nawa na kira ki a waya? Kina ba ni labari amma ban gane komai ba, me ya sa kika tafi Katsina babu shiri haka?” Inteesar ta zauna kusa da ita, ta ajiye jakarta a gefen kujera sannan ta yi shiru na ɗan lokaci, ta kalli mutanen da ke cikin cafeteria, tana tabbatar da cewa babu wanda ke kusa da su da zai iya jin abin da za ta faɗa, daga nan ta matsa da kujerarta kusa da ta Amira, ta rage muryarta zuwa ta raɗa, “Amira… abin da ya faru a Katsina ya wuce tunanin mai tunani,” Amira ta gyara zamanta, ta mai da hankalinta gaba ɗaya gare ta, “Me ya faru?” Inteesar ta haɗiye miyau, sannan ta furta kalaman da suka daɗe suna mata nauyi, “I was living with a cousin brother under the mask of a blood brother!” Amira ta buɗe baki, idanuwanta suka zaro waje, “Wait… what?! Intee, don Allah ki yi magana dalla-dalla, me kike nufi?” Inteesar ta ja numfashi mai nauyi, “Ranar da na gudu daga Abuja, dalilin da ya sa na tafi shi ne…” Ta dakata, tana tuna daidai lokacin da ta ɗauki wayar Umar daga saman tebur, har yanzu hoton saƙonnin da ta gani a screen ɗin wayar yana bayyana a zuciyarta, “Ina tsaye a falonsa ne, sai saƙon da na tura wa Unknown Number ya bayyana a kan screen ɗin wayar Yaya Umar, da idona biyu na ga dukan saƙonnin nan…” Ta ɗan runtse idanunta, kamar tana ƙoƙarin kawar da hoton daga cikin tunaninta, duk suna cikin wayarsa, shi ne mutumin da yake bibiyata!” Amira ta dafe ƙirjinta, “Subhanallah!” Numfashinta ya ɗauke na ɗan lokaci, sannan ta girgiza kai cikin rashin yarda, “Your own brother?! Ta yaya hakan zai faru, Intee? Wannan wace irin masifa ce?” “Ba yayana na jini ba ne, Amira,” Inteesar ta katse ta cikin sanyin murya mai cike da raɗaɗi, “A gaban Daddy komai ya bayyana, Yaya Umar ɗan ɗan uwan Daddy ne da ya rasu, Daddy ne ya ɗauko shi ya riƙe shi a matsayin ɗansa,” Amira ta ci gaba da kallonta, har yanzu tana ƙoƙarin haɗa bayanan da ta ji, Inteesar ta yi murmushi mai ɗaci, “Kuma ashe akwai maganar aurena da shi tun muna ƙanana, Daddy ya taɓa yi masa alƙawarin cewa zai ba shi aurena idan mun girma, shi ya sa nake tunanin cewa duk wannan bibiyar da yake yi mini tana da alaƙa da abin da yake so,” ta sauke numfashi a hankali, “But I never asked for any of this, Amira, ban taɓa ba shi wani dalili da zai sa ya tsoratar da ni ba,” Amira ta girgiza kai, fuskarta cike da tausayi, “Wato duk fargabar da kika yi a gidan, shi ne silar komai?” Inteesar ta sunkuyar da kanta, “That’s what hurts the most, na amince da shi sosai, ban taɓa tunanin cewa zan taɓa shakkar mutum da nake kira Yaya ba,” Amira ta matso kusa da ita, ta dafa hannunta, “Intee, I’m so sorry, I can’t even imagine how you felt when you saw those messages,” Inteesar ta ɗan matse hannun Amira, amma ba ta ce komai ba.

A daidai lokacin ne wayarta ta fara vibrating, alamar shigowar saƙo, ta ɗauko wayar ta buɗe saƙon, saƙon ya fito daga Aliyu, mutumin da suka haɗu a jirgin ranar da ta tafi Katsina, “Hey, I noticed you didn’t pick up, I called several times, but you weren’t answering, I just wanted to check up on you, gaskiya ranar da na gan ki a airport, kin sa na damu sosai saboda kukan da kike yi, I hope you arrived home safely and you’re doing fine now, please take care of yourself,” Inteesar ta zuba wa saƙon ido, fuskarta ta kasance a murtuke, babu alamar wasa ko murmushi, zuciyarta ta riga ta gaji da batun maza, don haka saƙon bai motsa wani abu a cikinta ba, she wasn’t ready for any of this attention, ba yanzu ba, ta ja wani nannauyan numfashi, sannan ta kashe screen ɗin wayar ba tare da ta tura masa ko harafi ɗaya na amsa ba, she completely ignored the text, Amira, wacce ke zaune kusa da ita, ta leƙa screen ɗin wayar kafin ta ɗago gira cikin tsokana, “Ohhh! Waye wannan kuma? Sabon babi ya buɗe ne?” Inteesar ta canza fuska, ta tura wayar cikin jakarta cikin ko-in-kula, “Wani ne muka haɗu a flight ranar da na tafi Katsina, yana ta damuna da saƙonni,” Amira ta ɗan yi murmushi, “Yana ta damunki da saƙonni? And you’re not even replying?” “No, Amira, I’m not interested,” ta faɗi hakan cikin sauri, sannan ta ƙara da wata murya mai ɗauke da gajiyawa, “Na gaji da komai, I don’t want to deal with any man right now, I just want to focus on myself and my studies,” Amira ta lura da yadda fuskar Inteesar ta canza, sai ta daina tsokanar ta, ta dafa kafaɗarta cikin fahimta, “Intee, I know you’re healing, kuma na san ba kya son kowa yanzu, but don’t shut the whole world out completely, okay?” Inteesar ta ɗago manyan idanunta ta kalleta, “I’m not ready for any relationship now, you know,” Amira ta jinjina kai a hankali, “I understand, kuma ba na cewa ki shiga wata dangantaka yanzu, healing takes time, ki ba kanki damar samun nutsuwa kafin ki sake ba wani damar shiga rayuwarki,” ta ɗan dakata, sannan ta ƙara da sanyin murya, “Gaskiya, Intee, na jinjina miki, Umar ya taka iyakokin da bai kamata ba, amma tunda kin dawo saboda karatunki, ki sa taitayinki, ki dage a kan sharuɗɗanki, kada ki bar abin da ya faru ya hana ki cimma burinki,” Inteesar ta saurare ta cikin shiru, Amira ta ci gaba, “Kuma game da wannan Aliyun na cikin jirgi… ba sai kin ba shi fuska ba idan zuciyarki ba ta shirya ba, but don’t be too harsh on someone who hasn’t actually hurt you, kin ji? Ba lallai ne kaɗaici ko rashin amincewa da kowa su zama hanyar da za ki kare kanki ba,” Inteesar ta ɗan yi shiru, maganar Amira ta sa ta yi tunani, amma ba ta sauya ra’ayinta ba, a miƙe tsaye tana ɗaukar jakar karatunta, “Shi ne abin da nake yi already, I will keep ignoring him for now,” Amira ta ɗago gira, “For now, huh?” “Amira!” Inteesar ta yi mata wani kallo, wanda ya sa Amira ta fashe da dariya, “Okay, okay! Na ji, no more questions,” Inteesar ta girgiza kai, tana ƙoƙarin danne ƙaramin murmushin da ya so bayyana a fuskarta, “Mu je aji, lokacin lecture ya yi,” “Alright, madam!” Su biyun suka nufi hanyar ajin karatunsu, amma yayin da Amira ke ci gaba da magana a kan lecture ɗin da ke gabansu, tunanin Inteesar yana wani wuri daban, tana ƙoƙarin ci gaba da rayuwarta kamar yadda ta saba, tana ƙoƙarin sake gina amincewar da ta rasa, kuma ko da yake ta yanke shawarar cewa ba za ta ba Aliyu damar shiga rayuwarta ba a yanzu, wani abu ya bayyana a fili, Inteesar was no longer the same girl who had left Abuja in fear, yanzu ta san cewa dole ne ta kare kanta, ta sa iyakokinta, kuma ta koyi cewa amincewa ba abu ba ne da za a bayar ba tare da kulawa ba, amma ko za ta iya sake amincewa da wani mutum a rayuwarta? Only time would tell.