THE OPEN MIND

*KADDARAR ZUCIYA*

*CHAPTER NINETEEN: 19*

*THE OPEN MIND*

*JIDDAAH BARKUM*

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Rayuwar birnin Lagos ta ci gaba da juyawa Inteesar da wani irin farin ciki na musamman da ta daɗe ba ta samu ba, tare da Humaira da Farida, sun zagaye wurare da dama na alfarma da shakatawa, suna ƙoƙarin ganin sun more kowane lokaci na hutunsu, sun ziyarci gidajen cin abinci na zamani, manyan gidajen kallo na cinema, da kuma fitaccen wurin yawon buɗe ido na Lekki Conservation Centre, a ranar da suka je Lekki Conservation Centre, Humaira ce ta fara ɗaga murya da ta hango dogon gadon igiyar da suke shirin bi, “Wait! You mean we’re actually going to walk on that thing?” ta tambaya, tana kallon gadon da ya ɗaga sama tsakanin manyan bishiyoyi, Farida ta fashe da dariya, “Yes, madam! That’s the whole point of coming here,” Humaira ta juya ta kalli Inteesar, “Intee, please tell me you’re seeing what I’m seeing,” Inteesar ta kalleta, sannan ta ɗaga gira, “Of course, I am. Or do you need glasses?” “Ha-ha. Very funny!” Farida ta kama hannun Humaira tana jan ta gaba, “Come on, scaredy-cat! Let’s go!” “Who are you calling scaredy-cat?” Humaira ta tambaya, tana bin ta da sauri duk da tsoron da ya bayyana a fuskarta, Inteesar ta bi su a baya tana dariya, da suka hau gadon igiyar, iska tana kaɗa tufafinsu yayin da suke kallon bishiyoyi da sauran kyawawan abubuwan da ke kewaye da su, Humaira ta kama hannun Farida sosai, tana ƙoƙarin tafiya ba tare da ta kalli ƙasan da ke nesa ba, “Farida, if anything happens to me, tell my family I love them!” Inteesar ta fashe da dariya, “Humaira! We’re not going to war!” “Easy for you to say! Look at how high we are!” Farida kuwa ta kasa daina dariya, har sai da Inteesar ta riƙe cikinta saboda yawan dariyar, a wannan ranar, sun ɗauki hotuna da dama, sun yi ta wasa, sun ci abinci a wurare daban-daban, kuma sun dawo gida cikin gajiya mai daɗi, Inteesar ta lura cewa a hankali tana sake zama wadda take a da, tana dariya ba tare da ta tilasta kanta ba, tana jin daɗin kasancewa tare da mutane ba tare da ta ji kamar dole ne ta kasance cikin shiri don kare kanta ba, most importantly, she was beginning to enjoy life without feeling guilty about the things she had lost, amma duk da wannan sabon farin cikin, akwai wani ɓangare na zuciyarta da har yanzu yake ɗauke da tambayoyin da ba ta da amsarsu, ta san tana murmurewa, sai dai ba ta san ko yaushe za ta daina jin raɗaɗin abubuwan da suka faru a baya ba.

Wata safiya bayan sun kammala breakfast, Inteesar, Humaira, da Farida suna zaune a babban falon gidan suna ɗan hutawa, Humaira tana duba wasu hotunan da suka ɗauka a kwanakin baya, tana nuna wa Farida waɗanda ba su yi kyau ba, yayin da Inteesar take zaune kusa da su tana shan ruwa, Yaya Adamu, wanda yake zaune a ɗaya gefen falon yana duba wasu takardun aiki, ya ajiye kofin shayin da ke hannunsa a kan tebur, ya gyara zamansa, sannan ya ɗago kansa ya kalli Inteesar, “Intee, zo nan, zo ki zauna kusa da ni,” ta ɗago kai daga wayarta, sannan ta miƙe cikin ladabi ta ƙarasa inda yake zaune, “Yes, Yaya?” “Zauna mana,” ta zauna a gefensa, tana kallonsa cikin natsuwa, a gefe guda, Humaira da Farida suka rage muryoyinsu, suna sauraron tattaunawar ba tare da sun katse su ba, Yaya Adamu ya kalleta da fuskar kulawar babban yaya, sannan ya tambaye ta, “Ina so ki gaya min, ya maganar karatunki? An gama 300 level yanzu, ko? Za ku shiga final year idan kun koma?” Inteesar ta gyara zamanta, sannan ta gyada kai, “Eh, Yaya, yanzu shekarar ƙarshe za mu shiga idan mun koma,” “Masha Allah,” ya faɗa cikin gamsuwa, “Allah Ya ba ku sa’a, Ya sa ku gama lafiya,” “Amin, Yaya,” ya ɗan dakata, yana kallon fuskarta kamar yana neman hanyar fara magana mai muhimmanci, “Intee, akwai wani abu da nake son ki fahimta, kuma ina so ki saurare ni da kyau,” ta mayar da hankalinta gaba ɗaya gare shi, “Ina sauraronka, Yaya,” ya dafa kafaɗarta a hankali, sannan ya fara magana cikin nutsuwa, “Rayuwar nan da kike gani, cike take da sauye-sauye masu yawa, a yau za ki ga abubuwa suna tafiya yadda kike so, gobe kuma sai ki ga al’amura sun juye daban gaba ɗaya, wani lokaci za ki samu abin da kike so, wani lokaci kuma za ki rasa abin da kika ɗauka cewa ba za ki iya rayuwa ba tare da shi ba,” Inteesar ta sunkuyar da kanta kaɗan, maganganunsa sun fara shiga zuciyarta, domin ta san cewa yana magana ne a kan abubuwan da suka faru da ita, ko da yake bai ambaci sunan kowa ba, Yaya Adamu ya ci gaba, “Amma kin san mene ne abin da ya fi muhimmanci? Ba wai abubuwan da suka faru da mu ba ne kawai, abin da ya fi muhimmanci shi ne yadda za mu ci gaba da rayuwa bayan sun faru,” ya ɗan dakata, yana ba ta damar fahimtar maganganunsa, “Dukan waɗannan canje-canjen suna tafiya ne a cikin tsarin ƙaddarar da Allah Ya riga Ya rubuta mana tun kafin mu zo duniya, kuma a matsayinki na mai imani, ina so ki tuna cewa ba duk abin da ya faru ba ne za ki iya fahimta a lokacin da yake faruwa,” Inteesar ta ɗago idanunta ta kalleshi, “Sometimes, we keep asking ourselves why something happened, why someone hurt us, or why things didn’t work out the way we wanted, amma ba kullum za mu samu amsar waɗannan tambayoyin nan take ba,” ya yi murmushi mai taushi, “Babban abin alfahari ga bawa shi ne ya karɓi ƙaddararsa da kyakkyawan zato ga Ubangiji, ya yi ƙoƙarin gyara abin da zai iya gyarawa, sannan ya bar abin da ba ya hannunsa ga Allah,” Inteesar ta yi shiru, tana sauraron sa, “Kada ki bar tsohon rauni ko abubuwan da suka wuce su tsayar da rayuwarki, idan wani ya cutar da ke, hakan ba yana nufin cewa kowa zai cutar da ke ba ne, idan wani abu ya ƙare, hakan ba yana nufin cewa farin cikinki ya ƙare tare da shi ba,” wani irin ɗumi ya bazu a zuciyar Inteesar, ta yi ƙoƙarin murmushi, amma kalaman Yaya Adamu sun taɓa wani ɓangare na zuciyarta da ta daɗe tana ƙoƙarin ɓoyewa, ya matse hannunta a hankali, “Intee, you deserve to be happy, ba wai saboda komai ya zama perfect ba, amma saboda kina da damar ci gaba da rayuwa duk da abin da ya faru,” ta haɗiye yawu, sannan ta ɗan gyara zamanta, “Amma Yaya…” ta fara magana, kafin ta tsaya tana neman kalmomin da za ta yi amfani da su, ya kalleta cikin kulawa, “Ki faɗa min,” Inteesar ta sauke idanunta, “Wani lokaci ina jin tsoro, ina tsoron sake amincewa da wani mutum, ina tsoron sake kusantar wani, sannan daga baya in sake fuskantar irin wannan ciwon, sometimes, I feel like if I allow myself to be happy again, I’m somehow forgetting what happened to me,” Yaya Adamu ya girgiza kai a hankali, “A’a, Intee, farin cikinki ba yana nufin kin manta da abin da ya faru ba ne,” ya ɗan dakata kafin ya ci gaba, “Ki iya tunawa da abin da ya faru ba tare da barin shi ya mallaki duk rayuwarki ba, ki iya koyon darasi daga abin da ya faru ba tare da hukunta kanki saboda kuskuren wani ba,” idanun Inteesar suka ɗan cika da hawaye, “Do you understand what I’m saying?” ya tambaye ta a hankali, ta gyada kai, “Yes, Yaya,” “Good, kuma ki tuna, buɗe zuciyarki ba yana nufin dole ne ki karɓi kowa a rayuwarki ba ne, ba yana nufin ki yi gaggawar soyayya ko amincewa da wani ba ne, it simply means giving yourself permission to live again,” ya shafa kanta cikin ƙauna, “Ki ba kanki lokaci, ki yi addu’a, ki mai da hankali kan karatunki, ki more lokacinki da iyalinki, kuma idan wata rana kika ga wani abu mai kyau yana shigowa rayuwarki, kada ki ƙi shi saboda kawai kina tsoron abin da zai iya faruwa,” Inteesar ta sauke ajiyar zuciya mai nauyi, sannan ta yi murmushi, “Na gode sosai, Yaya, Allah Ya saka da alheri, Ya ƙara girma,” “Amin, Princess, Allah Ya ba ki abin da ya fi alheri a gare ki,” ta rungume shi a hankali, “Thank you for always looking out for me,” Yaya Adamu ya yi murmushi, yana shafa bayanta, “That’s what big brothers are for,” a gefe guda, Humaira da Farida suka kalli juna, kowace tana jinjina kai cike da girmamawa ga wannan zama mai cike da darasi da natsuwa, Humaira ta yi murmushi tana kallon Inteesar, “Honestly, I think we all needed to hear that,” Farida ta gyada kai, “Especially you, Madam Drama,” Humaira ta juya da sauri, “Excuse me? Who’s the drama queen here?” Inteesar ta fashe da dariya, yayin da Yaya Adamu ya girgiza kai yana murmushi, “Allah Ya shirye ku duka,” “Ameen!” suka amsa tare, kafin falon ya sake cika da dariya, amma a cikin zuciyar Inteesar, kalaman Yaya Adamu sun zauna, giving yourself permission to live again, wataƙila wannan shi ne abin da take buƙata ta fara yi, ba wai ta manta da baya ba, sai dai ta daina bari baya ya yanke mata hukuncin abin da za ta iya zama a gaba.

A gefe guda kuma, Aliyu bai fasa nuna kulawarsa ba, kullum yana bincikar lafiyarta ta hanyar kiran waya da tura saƙonni, wasu lokutan zai kira ta na ɗan lokaci kawai don jin yadda take, wasu lokutan kuma zai tura saƙon barkwanci ko wani abu da zai sa ta yi murmushi, ba ya kira kullum a lokacin da yake so kawai; yana fara tambayar ko tana da lokaci, kuma idan ta ce tana cikin wani abu, sai ya yi mata sallama cikin sauƙi, a hankali, Inteesar ta tsinci kanta tana fara amsa kiransa cikin sakin fuska da kwanciyar hankali, a da, idan wayarta ta yi ringing kuma ta ga number ɗinsa, za ta yi ajiyar zuciya, tana tunanin yadda za ta ƙi ɗauka ba tare da ta ɓata masa rai ba, amma yanzu, wani lokacin ma tana kallon screen ɗin tana murmushi kafin ta ɗaga, ba wai ta kamu da soyayyarsa ba, a’a, sai dai ta fara saba da kasancewarsa, kuma ba ta ƙara ganin kiran nasa a matsayin wani nauyi ba, wannan sauyin kuwa bai ɓuya daga Humaira da Farida ba, wata rana da yamma, Inteesar tana zaune a falo tana duba wayarta, sai ta ga saƙon Aliyu ya shigo, ta karanta shi, ta yi murmushi, sannan ta fara rubuta amsa, Humaira, wadda take zaune kusa da ita, ta karkata kai tana ƙoƙarin ganin abin da take yi, “Wait a minute…” Inteesar ta ɗago kai, “What?” Humaira ta nuna wayar da yatsa, “Are you smiling at your phone?” Inteesar ta kalleta da mamaki, “Me ya sa ba zan yi murmushi ba?” Farida, wadda take zaune a kujerar da ke gabansu, ta ɗago kai da sauri, “Who’s making you smile?” “Babu kowa!” Humaira ta fashe da dariya, “Ah-ah! Babu kowa amma kina typing da smiling at the same time?” Inteesar ta juya musu baya tana ƙoƙarin ɓoye wayarta, “You two are so annoying!” Farida ta yi murmushi, “Is it Aliyu?” Inteesar ta yi shiru, Humaira ta buga tafin hannunta, “I knew it!” “Humaira, wallahi zan fita daga wannan falon idan ba ku daina ba!” “Okay, okay,” Farida ta faɗa tana ɗaga hannayenta, “We won’t disturb you and your important conversation,” Inteesar ta juyo tana harararsu, “There’s no important conversation!” Humaira ta ɗora hannu a ƙirjinta kamar wadda ta ji wani babban labari, “Subhanallah! Look at her defending herself,” Inteesar ta miƙe tsaye, “I’m leaving!” Su biyun suka fashe da dariya yayin da ta nufi hanyar fita daga falon, tana jin kunyar yadda suke yi mata, amma da ta juya musu baya, wani ɗan murmushi ya bayyana a fuskarta, a hankali, ta fara fahimtar cewa ba dole ne duk wata sabuwar hulɗa ta zama wata babbar matsala ba, wani lokaci, mutum zai iya sanin wani a hankali, ya ji daɗin hirarsa, ya yi dariya da shi, ba tare da ya yi wa kansa alkawarin wani abu ba, and for now, that was enough.

Wata rana da dare, Inteesar tana zaune a balcony na gidan Yaya Adamu, tana waya da Aliyu, iskar dare tana kadawa a hankali, yayin da hasken fitilun da ke kewaye da gidan yake haskaka farfajiyar, Inteesar ta zauna cikin natsuwa, ƙafafunta a kan ƙaramin stool, wayarta a kunnenta, Aliyu yana ba ta labarin wani abin dariya da ya faru da shi a wajen aiki, “…and the worst part was, I was standing there trying to look serious while everyone around me was trying not to laugh!” ya faɗa, muryarsa cike da dariya, Inteesar ta rufe bakinta da tafin hannunta, tana ƙoƙarin danne dariya, “Stop it, Aliyu!” “I’m serious! I wish you could have seen my face,” “Wallahi, I can’t imagine it!” “Trust me, it was embarrassing, I was trying to explain something important, then my colleague just said one thing and ruined the whole meeting,” Inteesar ta sake fashewa da dariya, “Allah ya kyauta!” Aliyu ma ya yi dariya, “You see? This is why I wanted to tell you, I knew you’d laugh,” “You’re so unserious!” ta faɗa, har muryarta ta fara ɗaukar alamun dariya, “Only sometimes,” “Sometimes? I think you mean all the time!” Hirar ta ci gaba na wasu mintuna, suna ta dariya da musayar labarai, ba tare da ta shirya ba, Inteesar ta fashe da wata daddadar dariya mai sauti, dariya ta gaskiya daga can ƙasan zuciyarta, ta yi dariya har sai da ta sunkuyar da kanta, tana share hawaye daga gefen idanunta, Aliyu ya yi shiru na ɗan lokaci, yana sauraron yadda take dariya, “Intee?” Ta ɗan ja numfashi, “Hmm?” “I like hearing you laugh,” murmushin da ke fuskarta ya ɗan lafa, ta yi shiru na seconds kaɗan, sannan ta amsa cikin sanyin murya, “Thank you,” Aliyu bai matsa mata da wani bayani ba, ya bar maganar a nan, sannan suka ci gaba da hirarsu har lokacin da suka yanke shawarar yin sallama, “Okay, I should let you rest now,” Aliyu ya faɗa, “Alright, Goodnight,” “Goodnight, Intee, Allah Ya ba ki hutu mai daɗi,” “Amin, You too,” ta katse kiran, sannan ta sauke wayar a kan cinyarta, bayan haka, ta juya tana kallon duhun sararin samaniya, a hankali, murmushin da ke fuskarta ya fara ɓacewa, ta tuna yadda ta yi dariya, yadda ta manta da komai na ɗan lokaci, yadda ta ji daɗin hirar wani mutum ba tare da ta yi ƙoƙarin kare kanta daga gare shi ba, sai ta daskare, wani sanyi ya ziyarci zuciyarta, a hankali ta ɗora hannunta a ƙirjinta, tana jin bugun zuciyarta, “Ya Allah…” ta furta ƙasa-ƙasa, ta yi dariya da gaske, wani ne ya zama sanadin wannan dariyar, a karon farko cikin watanni masu yawa, wannan fahimtar ta tsoratar da ita ƙwarai, domin ba wai dariyar ce ta tsoratar da ita ba, abin da ya tsoratar da ita shi ne yadda ta manta da ciwonta na ɗan lokaci, yadda ta ji daɗi ba tare da ta shirya hakan ba, da kuma yadda take fara jin daɗin kasancewar Aliyu a rayuwarta, ta sunkuyar da kanta, tana wasa da yatsunta, does this mean I’m healing? Sai kuma wata tambaya ta biyo baya, and if I’m healing, does that mean I have to let go? Ta tuna da abubuwan da suka faru a baya, ta tuna yadda ta taɓa yarda da wani mutum, yadda ta taɓa ɗaukar wani dangantaka a matsayin abin da ba zai taɓa canzawa ba, da yadda a ƙarshe ta tsinci kanta cikin ciwo da tambayoyi, ta lumshe idanunta sosai, wani ɓangare na zuciyarta yana son ci gaba, amma wani ɓangaren yana jin kamar ci gaba da rayuwa yana nufin ta amince cewa wasu abubuwa sun ƙare har abada, kuma wannan shi ne abin da ya fi mata wahala, domin ta san warkewar zuciya ba wai ta daina jin zafi ne kawai ba, wani lokaci, warkewa yana nufin ka sake yin dariya bayan ka daɗe kana kuka, yana nufin ka fara jin daɗin rayuwa ba tare da wanda ka taɓa tunanin ba za ka iya rayuwa ba tare da shi ba, yana nufin ka fara gina sabon babi, ko da yake har yanzu kana tuna tsohon, ta ɗauki wayarta, ta kalli screen ɗin da sunan number din da yake a ciki, ta yi shiru na ɗan lokaci, ba ta shirya soyayya ba, ba ta shirya sabon alkawari ba, amma wataƙila tana fara shirya wa kanta damar samun farin ciki, a hankali ta sauke wayar, ta jingina da kujerarta, sannan ta kalli sararin samaniya, “Maybe I can be happy again,” ta furta ƙasa-ƙasa, sai ta ɗan yi shiru, “But why does it scare me so much?” Babu wanda ya amsa mata, sai dai sautin iskar dare da kukan ruwa daga nesa, kuma a cikin wannan shirun, Inteesar ta fara fahimtar cewa sabon babin rayuwarta ba zai fara ne lokacin da ta manta da baya ba, zai fara ne lokacin da ta daina tsoron gaba.

A daidai wannan lokacin a birnin Abuja, yanayin gidan Umar ya bambanta gaba ɗaya, babu annashuwa kamar da, babu irin murmushin da Nana ta saba gani a fuskarsa, kullum yana ƙara yin shiru, kuma duk da ƙoƙarin da yake yi na nuna kamar komai yana tafiya lafiya, Nana tana lura da yadda walwalarsa take ƙara gushewa, wani lokaci tana samunsa a zaune shi kaɗai a falon, yana kallon wayarsa, wasu lokutan kuma zai dawo daga aiki, ya cire agogonsa, ya zauna ba tare da ya yi magana ba, kamar hankalinsa yana wani wuri daban, Nana ta yi ƙoƙarin ba shi sarari, tana fatan cewa lokaci zai taimaka masa ya samu nutsuwa, amma kwanaki suka wuce, sannan suka zama makonni, kuma har yanzu babu wani canji mai kyau da take gani, wata rana da dare, ta fito daga ɗakinta ta same shi a falon, yana zaune a kan sofa, sanye da kayan gida, wayarsa a hannunsa, hasken screen ɗin ya haskaka fuskarsa, amma idanunsa suna da wani irin gajiya da ta sa Nana ta tsaya tana kallonsa, “Babe?” Ya ɗago kai, “Hmm?” “Ba ka kwanta ba?” “Zan kwanta ne” Ta kalleshi na ɗan lokaci, sannan ta zauna a gefensa, “Ka faɗi haka tun awa ɗaya da ta wuce,” Umar bai amsa ba, Nana ta sauke ajiyar zuciya, “Babe, me ke faruwa da kai?” “Nothing, wife,” ta juya ta kalleshi sosai, “Please, don’t do this,” ya ɗan ɗaga gira, “Do what?” “Act like everything is fine when it clearly isn’t,” Umar ya kau da kai, yana kallon wani wuri daban, “I’m fine,” “Are you?” ta tambaya a hankali, “Because I’m watching you every day, and you’re not the same person anymore,” ya yi shiru, Nana ta matso kusa da shi, ta ɗora hannunta a kan nasa, “Babe, look at me,” bayan ɗan lokaci, ya juya ya kalleta, idanunsa sun canza kala saboda rashin barci da damuwa, fuskarsa ta nuna gajiyar da ya daɗe yana ƙoƙarin ɓoyewa, Nana ta ji zuciyarta ta matse, ta san cewa Umar yana cikin damuwa, amma ganin yadda lamarin yake shafar sa a fili ya fi abin da ta yi tsammani, ta haɗiye yawu, sannan ta tambaye shi cikin sanyin murya, “Babe… har yanzu kana sonta haka?” Umar ya tsaya cak, tambayar ta sauka a tsakaninsu kamar wani nauyi mai girma, ya kau da kansa, yana kallon wayarsa, a screen ɗin, hoton Inteesar ne da ya daɗe yana ajiyewa, ya yi shiru na dogon lokaci, kamar yana ƙoƙarin nemo amsar da za ta sa komai ya zama mai sauƙi, amma babu, a ƙarshe, ya sauke ajiyar zuciya, sannan ya amsa cikin muryar da ta yi ƙasa sosai, “Ban san yadda zan daina ba,” Nana ta ji kamar wani abu ya soke zuciyarta, ba ta yi tsammanin zai musanta ba, a zahiri, ta daɗe tana ganin amsar a fuskarsa, a shirunsa, da yadda yake zama shi kaɗai da hoton Inteesar, amma jin ya furta hakan da bakinsa ya bambanta, ya sa abin ya zama gaskiya da ba za ta iya kauce mata ba, ta kau da kanta, tana ƙoƙarin danne abin da ta ji a zuciyarta, Umar ya lura da shirunta, amma bai san abin da zai ce ba, domin a wannan lokacin, shi ma yana jin nauyin maganarsa, ya san Nana matarsa ce, ya san tana kusa da shi, tana ƙoƙarin taimaka masa, tana kallonsa yana fama da wani ciwo da ba ita ce ta jawo ba, amma duk da haka, ya kasa ba ta amsar da take buƙata, Nana ta miƙe a hankali, ta ɗan gyara mayafinta, “Okay,” ta furta, muryarta a sanyaye, Umar ya ɗago kai, “Nana…” Ta tsaya, amma ba ta juyo gaba ɗaya ba, “Ba zan tilasta maka ka daina jin abin da kake ji ba, Umar, feelings aren’t something you can switch off,” ya yi shiru, amma ta ci gaba, muryarta tana ɗauke da wani irin rauni da take ƙoƙarin ɓoyewa, “Amma ina fatan wata rana za ka tuna cewa ni ma ina nan,” maganganunta suka sa ya sunkuyar da kansa, Umar ya rufe idanunsa, babu amsar da zai ba ta da za ta iya rage mata wannan ciwo, Nana ta juya ta nufi ɗakinta, tana ƙoƙarin tafiya cikin natsuwa duk da yadda zuciyarta take bugawa, ba ta son ta yi kuka a gabansa, ba ta son ta sa shi jin laifin abin da ba zai iya canzawa cikin dare ɗaya ba, amma tana jin zafi, zafi na ganin mijinta yana rasa kansa a cikin soyayyar wata daban, zafi na ƙoƙarin kasancewa kusa da shi, amma ta ji kamar ba ta iya kaiwa inda yake a zuciyarsa, zafi na sanin cewa ko da yake tana da shi a matsayin miji, akwai wani ɓangare na shi da ba ta iya taɓawa, da ta shiga ɗakinta, ta zauna a gefen gado, tana kallon ƙofar da ta rufe, hawaye suka fara taruwa a idanunta, ta share su da sauri, amma wasu suka zubo, “Ya Allah…” ta furta cikin raunin murya, “Ka ba ni haƙuri,” domin a wannan daren, Nana ta fahimci cewa abin da ke tsakanin Umar da Inteesar ya fi abin da ta taɓa zato zurfi, ba wai kawai yana kewarta ba ne, ba wai kawai yana nadamar abin da ya faru ba ne, akwai wani irin son da yake ɗauke da shi wanda, duk da duk ƙoƙarinsa, bai san yadda zai kawar da shi ba, a wannan daren, a birnin Lagos, Inteesar tana ƙoƙarin koyon yadda za ta sake buɗe zuciyarta ga rayuwa, ba tare da gaggawa ba, ba tare da tilasta wa kanta mantawa da baya ba, tana koyon cewa farin ciki ba cin amanar abin da ta taɓa ji ba ne, kuma warkewa ba yana nufin dole ne ta daina tuna duk abin da ya faru ba ne, sai dai ta ba kanta damar ci gaba, a Abuja kuwa, Umar yana zaune cikin shirun da ya zama abokinsa, yana fuskantar sakamakon kuskuren da ya yi, yana son Inteesar, amma ya san cewa soyayyarsa ba za ta iya goge ciwon da ya jawo mata ba, kuma yayin da yake ƙoƙarin koyon yadda zai rayu ba tare da ita ba, Nana tana ƙoƙarin fahimtar inda matsayinta yake a zuciyar mijinta, mutane uku, zukata uku, kuma kowannensu yana ɗauke da nasa ciwon, Inteesar tana neman sabon farawa, Umar yana fama da nadama, Nana kuma tana ƙoƙarin kare zuciyarta daga ciwon da ba ta taɓa tunanin za ta fuskanta a cikin aurenta ba, wataƙila ƙaddara tana buɗe musu sabbin hanyoyi, amma babu wanda ya san inda waɗannan hanyoyin za su kai su, domin wani lokaci, babban yaƙi ba ya tsakanin mutum da wani, yana tsakanin abin da zuciya take so da abin da hankali ya san ya kamata a yi, kuma a wannan lokacin… kowannensu yana ƙoƙarin gano yadda zai ci gaba da rayuwa.