THE FADING DOUBT AND THE PLEADING

KADDARAR ZUCIYA

CHAPTER FORTY: 40

THE FADING DOUBTS AND THE PLEADING

JIDDAAH BARKUM

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Tafiyar da Inteesar ta yi a cikin mota yayin dawowa gida ta kasance cike da fafutukar tunani mai nauyi, kalaman Amira sun shiga cikin zuciyarta, suna ta dawo mata danye-danye, “Yanzu shekarunki ashirin da biyu, shi kuma yana cikin shekaru hamsin da wani abu… Nan da shekaru goma, Aliyu zai ƙara tsufa,” ta lumshe idanunta, tana jin yadda sanyin fargaba ke ratsa zuciyarta, shin da gaske tana gina rayuwar da za ta iya kawo mata nadama a nan gaba? Tambayar ta riga ta fito fili a zuciyarta, amma amsarta tana ɓoye can ƙasan ƙaunar da take yi wa Aliyu, har ta isa gida a Maitama, wannan tunanin bai gushe ba, ta shiga falon ta tarar da Nana zaune tana kallon talabijin, Inteesar ta ƙirƙiri murmushi, ta ƙarasa ta zauna kusa da ita, sannan ta sauke ajiyar zuciya, “Bari na shiga na watsa ruwa, sai na fito,” ta faɗa a hankali, Nana ta juya ta kalle ta, “To, shiga ki fito, ga abinci yana jiranki,” Inteesar ta haura sama, Nana ta bita da kallo na ɗan lokaci kafin ta mayar da hankalinta kan talabijin ɗin da ke aiki a falon, bayan kamar minti arba’in, Inteesar ta sauko bayan ta yi wanka ta sauya kaya zuwa wata doguwar riga mai sauƙi, maroon, tare da hular da ta tura gashinta a ciki, ƙamshinta mai daɗi yana nan manne a jikinta, ta nemi waje ta zauna, yayin da Nana ta miƙe ta nufi dining table domin ɗebo mata abinci, ta zuba mata shinkafa da stew mai naman kaza a ciki, sannan ta buɗe fridge ta ɗauko mata ruwan gora, ta dawo ta ajiye komai a gabanta, Inteesar ta yi murmushi, “Na gode,” Nana ta mayar mata da murmushi, ta nemi waje ta zauna, sannan suka fara hira, duk da haka, maganar da suka yi da Amira tana nan manne a zuciyar Inteesar, duk lokacin da ta yi ƙoƙarin mantawa, sai tunanin makomarta da Aliyu ya sake dawo mata, hirarsu ta yi daɗi sosai, inda Nana ke ba ta labarin abubuwan da suka faru a gidan tun bayan tafiyarta, suna cikin tsaka da wannan hirar ne, Yaya Umar ya fito daga sashensa ya sauko falon, sanye yake da jallabiya mai taushi, fuskarsa cike da natsuwa, ya ƙaraso ya zauna a ɗaya daga cikin kujerun falon domin ya taya su hira, nan take yanayin falon ya sauya a wajen Inteesar, ta ji wani irin fargaba da takura sun ziyarce ta, hakan ya sa ta rage yawan dariya da surutun da take yi, ta fara takaita maganganunta, wani lokacin kuma ta yi shiru ko ta yi murmushin dole, don kawai kasancewar Umar a wurin kada ya ƙara mata wani nauyi a zuciya, falon ya yi tsit na wasu daƙiƙu, kowa yana jin abin da ke zuciyarsa, Inteesar kuwa tana ta juya abincin gabanta da cokali, amma ba ta cin abincin yadda ya kamata, cikin ikon Allah, shirun da ke tsakaninsu ya katse lokacin da wayarta ta fara ruri saboda kira, da ta ga sunan Aliyu a screen, sai gaba ɗaya jikinta ya yi sanyi na farin ciki, ta miƙe da sauri, ta yi wa Nana sallama, sannan ta ce za ta shiga ɗakinta, yayin da take takawa cikin sauri tana barin falon, Umar ya bi ta da wani sassanyan kallo ta gefen idonsa, kallo ne mai cike da abubuwan da yake ɓoyewa a ransa, amma ya yi shi cikin dabara ta yadda Nana ba za ta ankara da abin da ke zuciyarsa ba.

Inteesar na shiga ɗakinta, ta rufe ƙofar sannan ta faɗa kan gado, tana mai ɗaga kiran da sauri, “Mi Amor…” Ta furta kalmar cikin wata irin murya mai cike da shauƙi da daɗin jin muryarsa, daga ɗayan ɓangaren, muryar Aliyu mai ɗumi da natsuwa ta doki kunnenta, ya fara tambayarta yadda yammacinta ya kasance, cikin kulawa da ƙauna, a wannan lokacin, duk wani tunanin lissafin shekaru, tsoron tsufa da kuma fargabar kishiyoyi da Amira ta dasa mata a zuciya ya ɗan gushe, tamkar ba a taɓa yin maganar ba, shauƙin muryar Aliyu da ɗumin kalamansa sun maye gurbin fargabar da ke zuciyarta, suka sa ta sake nutsuwa cikin ƙaunar da take yi masa, ta kwanta tana sauraron sa, lokaci-lokaci tana amsa masa cikin murmushi, a wannan daren, aƙalla, ta bar zuciyarta ta huta daga tambayoyin da suka dame ta.

SAFIYAR ASABAR 

Washegari Asabar ce, babu maganar makaranta domin weekend ne, tun da safe, Nana ta tashi ta shiga kitchen tana ƙoƙarin haɗa karin kumallo, ƙamshin fankaso da ferfesun da take haɗawa ya gauraye ko’ina, Inteesar ta turo ƙofar kitchen ɗin ta shigo, fuskarta ɗauke da murmushi, “Ranki ya daɗe, ashe har kin tashi kin rigani shigowa kitchen ɗin kenan?” Nana ta juyo tana dariya, “Wacece za ta tashi yanzu bayan ta san yau ba ta da lectures? Ga shi nan ma na kusa gamawa,” ta ƙarasa maganar tana dariya, yayin da Inteesar ta matso kusa da ita domin ta taimaka mata, suna cikin tattaunawa ne, sai maganar Aliyu ta shigo cikin hirarsu a hankali, Nana ta ɗan kalle ta, sannan ta fara jefa mata tambayoyi game da Aliyu, tana son jin inda suka tsaya da shi da kuma yadda dangantakarsu take tafiya, Inteesar kuwa, kowace amsa tana bayar da ita ne cikin ɗan murmushi da nuna shauƙi, fuskarta tana bayyana tsantsar ƙaunar da take yi masa, Nana ta lura da yanayin kawar da kanta da murmushin da Inteesar ke yi duk lokacin da aka ambaci sunan Aliyu, ta yi murmushi, tana jin daɗin ganin yadda ƙanwarta ta sake samun farin ciki bayan abubuwan da ta fuskanta a baya, sai dai a cikin wannan hirar, Inteesar ta sauke ajiyar zuciya ta kalli Nana, “Amma, Yaya Nana… Aliyu yana da mata har biyu,” jin haka ya sa Nana ta dakata da abin da take yi, ta tsaya cak tana kallon Inteesar, mamaki ƙarara a idanunta, “Mata biyu, Inteesar? Kuma a haka kika amince za ki shiga gidansa a matsayin mace ta uku?” Kalaman Nana sun daki zuciyar Inteesar da ƙarfi, wani irin shiru mai nauyi ya mamaye kitchen ɗin, ya sa Inteesar kasa cewa uffan, tamkar ruwan sama ya sauka a kanta, Nana ta ajiye abin da ke hannunta, ta matso kusa da ita sosai, idanunta sun fara cika da ƙwalla, ta kama hannayen Inteesar biyu, muryarta tana rawa saboda tsananin damuwa, “Inteesar, don Allah ki saurare ni da kyau, rayuwar gidan kishiyoyi biyu ma tana iya zama babban ƙalubale, balle ki shiga a matsayin ta uku ga mutumin da ya isa ya haifi ’yan uwanki, me ya sa za ki jefa kanki cikin wannan gararin?” Inteesar ta buɗe baki kamar za ta yi magana, amma kalmomin sun ƙi fitowa, Nana ta ƙara matse hannayenta, hawaye suka fara zuba mata, “Ina roƙonki, Inteesar… Da ace kin karɓi Yaya Umar, da yanzu muna tare a wannan gidan cikin wani irin farin ciki, kina gani na, har yanzu shiru a gidan nan, Allah bai ba ni haihuwa ba, kuma kullum ina cikin kaɗaici,” ta ɗan dakata tana share hawayenta, amma hakan bai hana su ci gaba da zuba ba, “Burina shi ne mu haɗa kai, ki haifa mana yara da za su faranta wa Umar rai, mu riƙe su tare cikin aminci, ba tare da wata gaba a tsakaninmu ba, na san ba za ki taɓa cutar da ni ba, ni ma ba zan taɓa cutar da ke ba,” muryarta ta ƙara rawa, “Don Allah, ki sake tunani, Inteesar, ki duba wannan maganar da kyau, ba na son ki shiga rayuwar da za ta sa ki riƙa kuka a nan gaba,” Inteesar ta ji zuciyarta tana bugawa da sauri, hawaye suka wanke mata fuska saboda tausayin Nana da kuma nauyin roƙon da take yi mata, ta san cewa Nana ba ta faɗi waɗannan kalaman don ta cutar da ita ba, mace ce da ke magana daga zurfin zuciyarta, wadda kaɗaici da rashin haihuwa suka raunana, amma duk da haka, Inteesar ta san akwai wani abu da Nana ba ta fahimta ba, ƙaunar da take yi wa Umar ba ta wuce ta ’yar’uwa ga ɗan’uwa ba, ba za ta iya tilasta wa zuciyarta ta zaɓi wanda ba ta taɓa kallon sa ta wannan fuskar ba, ta so ta faɗi hakan, amma ganin yadda Nana take kuka ya sa ta kasa furta kalma, ta tsaya tana kallonta, hawaye na ci gaba da zuba mata.

Ba su ankara ba, ashe Yaya Umar yana tsaye a bakin ƙofar kitchen ɗin, ya taho ne da niyyar ɗaukar wani abu, amma kalaman Nana da kukan da take yi suka tsayar da shi cak, Umar ya jingina da bangon kitchen ɗin, yana sauraron duk abin da suke faɗa cikin mamaki da sanyin jiki, kowace kalma ta Nana tana fasa masa zuciya, ganin yadda matarsa take sadaukar da kanta da kuma muradunta saboda kawai tana son ganin farin cikinsa, ya sanya wani irin nauyi ya sauka a ƙirjinsa, ta kai ga roƙon Inteesar ta auri mijinta, ta zauna tare da ita, har ma ta haifa musu yara da za su faranta masa rai, Umar ya lumshe idanunsa na ɗan lokaci, ya san Nana tana son sa, ya san rashin haihuwa yana damunta, kuma ya san kaɗaici ya daɗe yana mata nauyi, amma bai taɓa tunanin cewa raɗaɗin da take ciki ya kai har ga wannan matakin ba, a wani ɓangaren kuma, ya ji wani irin nauyi ganin yadda Inteesar take kuka saboda tausayin Nana, amma duk da haka take tsaye a kan ƙaunar Aliyu, ta zaɓi Aliyu duk da sanin cewa yana da mata biyu, shi kuma Umar, wanda ya daɗe yana ɗauke da ƙaunarta a zuciyarsa, yana tsaye yana sauraron yadda ake tattauna makomar rayuwarta ba tare da ya kasance wani ɓangare na zaɓinta ba, ya buɗe idanunsa a hankali, yana jin wani irin raɗaɗi da sarƙaƙiyar lamarin, a wannan lokacin, ya fahimci cewa ba Inteesar kaɗai ce take fuskantar zaɓi mai wuya ba, Nana tana ƙoƙarin cike gibin da kaɗaici ya bari a rayuwarta, Inteesar tana ƙoƙarin kare ƙaunar da ta sake yarda da ita bayan ta sha wahala, shi kuma yana ƙoƙarin koyon yadda zai rayu da ƙaunar da wataƙila ba za ta taɓa zama tasa ba, Umar ya sauke ajiyar zuciya, sannan ya janye jikinsa daga bangon, ya juya a hankali, yana tafiya ba tare da ya bari matan biyu sun san cewa ya ji duk abin da suka faɗa ba, amma duk da haka, kalaman Nana sun ci gaba da amsa kuwwa a kunnensa, kuma a karon farko, Umar ya fara tambayar kansa ko ƙaunar da yake yi wa Inteesar tana kawo wa kowa farin ciki ne, ko kuwa tana ƙara wa mutanen da yake ƙauna raɗaɗi ne kawai.