BABI NA ARBA'IN DA ƊAYA

WATA ƊAYA yanzu kenan da rasuwar mahaifina. Ina ƙoƙari domin nayi masking duk wata damuwata saboda yadda Zaid ya damu dani kuma yake zama a kusa dani duk lokacin da yake da dama. Zaid kuma a wannan lokacin yana faɗa min “feel your feelings, Diza.” Murmushi kawai nake mishi bana cewa komai. 

A cikin wata na biyu bayan rasuwar mahaifina naga ashe grief ɗina ba tafiya ze yi ya bar ni ba. Ganin haka yasa nayi haƙuri da ɓoyewa duk lokacin da zafin rashina yazo, ina amsar shi hannu bibbiyu tare da jin duka feelings ɗin kamar yadda Zaid ke faɗa. 

Zaid yana office har yanzu be fara fita offshore ba ya turo min text “I'm taking you on a date, Diza. Look your best.” Murmushi nayi ina cikin karanta text na Zaid. Yanzu ƙarfe bakwai na dare kuma be dawo ba amma yace zamu fita. Banɗaki na shiga nayi wanka tukuna nayi Sallah. Wardrobe ɗina na buɗe ina kallon kayana da duban irin wanda zan sawa inaso nayi kyau sosai a idanun Zaid. I want to look my best. Idanuna suka sauka akan Olive maxi dress ɗina na ɗauko ta da ƙaramin veil ɗinsu caramel. 

Ina cikin shiryawa naji shigowar Zaid da mota. Cigaba da shiryawa nayi. Nasa kwalli a idanuna na shafa lip gloss ba janbaki ba. Powder nasa a fuska ta na yafa ƙaramin veil ɗina har takalmina half cover caramel nasa na zauna a gefen gado ina jiran Zaid yace na fito mu wuce. 

Ina danna waya ta ina jiran shi naji an buɗe kofa ƙamshin turaren shi nake ji fresh. Ɗago kai nayi na kalle shi daga gani shirin da yake da, bayan ya dawo ne yayi. Yana sanye da dark indigo trousers da farin t-shirt me long sleeves ƙasa da buttons. Zaid fa kyakkyawa ne. Ni nama san yafi ni kyau fa. Ban san lokacin da fuska ta ta wanke da murmushi ba ina kallon shi. 

  “Someone has never seen a handsome man her whole life” ya zolaye ni. Dariya nayi jin abinda ya faɗa na tashi tsaye na dawo wurin shi. Fuskar mu be haɗe ba amma mun yi kusa da juna sosai ya riƙa hannuna yace “You are beautiful, Diza.” Blushing nake ina jin sanyi a cikin raina nace “And you're a pretty boy, Zaid.” Kunci na yaja cikin wasa nayi dariya ina enjoying every bit of what's happening. 

Hannuna ya saki muka fito. A cikin baƙin SUV ɗin shi muka fita zuwa Sky View Abuja. It feels serene and warm ga ƙamshi ina ji me sanyaya min zuciya ina ji kaman na shige a jikin Zaid. Kallon wurin nayi ban ga kowa ba daga gani Zaid yayi reserving wurin. Ganin Zaid ya ajiye wayar shi a gaban shi yasa na ajiye tawa a gabana. 

   “Me zaki ci, Diza?” Zaid ya tambaye ni bayan waiter yazo. Amsar menu yayi yana dubawa se kuma ya bani yace “Ki zaɓa mana abinda zamu ci”

Ɗago idanuna nayi na kalle shi se na maida akan menu “Get us Skyview special pizza and Espresso martini” na faɗa wa waiter tare da bashi menu 

Zaid yana kallo na yace “Shikenan?”

Nodding Kai nayi. Bayan waiter ya tafi nace “The bills are on me.”

Ko kallona Zaid be yi ba, yayi kamar be ji abinda nace ba. 

   “Hello! The bills are on me, you pretty boy”

Murmushi naga Zaid yayi yace “Naga ni na faɗa miki ki shirya zamu je date. A cikin mota na da na sa mai da kuɗina na kawo ki. Shine zaki ce ke zaki biya kuɗi? Idan kina so ki biya kuɗi get ready to take me on a date with your car , then I'd agree the bills to be on you, but now, no that's not happening”

   “Duk abinda zaka faɗa ka faɗa but the bills are on me. Ina da kuɗi fa don't look down on me”

Dariya Zaid yayi har dariyar shi na fitowa. “To naji, Barrister Hadiza”

“Yes yes” nace da murmushi akan fuska ta ina me jin dad'i a cikin raina zuciya ta ta cika da farin ciki marar misaltawa. Yanzu ina jin daɗin irin zolayar da yake shiga tsakanina da Zaid. 

Waiter ya kawo mana order mu muka fara ci. Dukan mu bamu ci dayawa ba Zaid ya fara cewa he's okay tukuna nima naji cikina ya cika because the pizzas are so large. 

    “I have never go out on a date. What do people do there? What kind of discussion do they have?”

Formally kamar bada shi muka gama zolayar juna ba yace “They ask each other questions”

“Ka taɓa zuwa date ne?” na tambaye shi ina kallon shi cikin idanu. Shima ɗin kallo na yake. 

      “You are my first”

  “Ko dai second? Ko ma dai fifth, Zaid?”

Murmushi yayi yace “First”

“Hmmmm” nayi ina kallon shi da idanuna da suke cike da ƙauna wa shi. 

Be ce komai ba nima ban ce komai ba kuma ba waya muke dannawa ba. 

The place suddenly feels anxious har ina jin zufa a tafin hannuwa na ko dai saboda tambayar da nake son mishi ne ina tsoron amsar da ze bani. Kaina na sunkuye ina kallon tafin hannuwa na se kuma na ɗago kaina muka haɗa idanu da Zaid ashe ni yake kallo tun ɗazu. Murmushin dole nayi ina ji na very tense nace “Har yanzu kana ƙaunata Zaid?”

Fuskar shi bata ɗauke da murmushi yace “Har abada”

Saukar da idanuna nayi nan take idanuna suka cika da hawaye sakamakon amsar da Zaid ya bani. 

  “Idan kika ce kuka zaki yi zan yi fushi dake”

Kamar ina jiran shi yayi wannan maganar na fara kuka. Tashi Zaid yayi daga wurin da yake ya dawo gefe na. A shoulder na yasa hannun shi yayi squeezing kafaɗa na. 

    “Diza, don't cry” yace cikin hoarse voice ɗin shi.

Ƙoƙari nayi na dena kukan da nake nasa hannuna akan hannun shi da yake kafaɗa na. Ɗayan hannuna na duba wristwatch ɗina it's getting to 9.30pm. 

            “Mu tafi gida”

   “Shine kawai tambayar da kike so ki min?”

Gyaɗa kai nayi. 

     “Baki san ko zan so na tambaye ki ba?”

Gabana naji yayi duka Allah yasan bana son tambayoyin Zaid saboda ina jin tsoron tambayar da ze iya min. It's not like he's blunt, he's just honest and he wants honesty in return. 

    “Do you have questions? I thought you......” na fara kuma nayi shiru. 

   “Let's go home, Diza” 

Da sauri na tashi tsaye nasa hannuna a nashi muka fito. 

“Da gaske zan biya fa”

“Next time” ya faɗa ban tsaya cewa wani abu ba against it muka wuce. 

Isar mu gida na wuce ɗakina. Wanka nayi nasa kayan bacci na na kwanta a gado. Idanuna na buɗe har ƙarfe goma sha ɗaya. Nayi kewar mijina ta hanyar shimfiɗar da muke haɗawa dashi. Juyi nayi sau biyu ina jin yadda jikina ya min nauyi yau. Tashi nayi na wuce ɗakin Zaid ina addu'a a cikin raina Allah yasa be fara bacci ba. Ko ma ya fara bacci se na tada shi. 

Shiga ta na same shi zaune a gefen gado yana danna laptop ɗin shi. 

   “Diza” ya faɗi ba tare da ya kalle ni ba. 

   “Yau ba bacci ne bana iya yi ba” na sanar dashi na dawo gefen shi na zauna ina kallon aikin da yake. Be ce komai ba ya maida hankalin shi sosai ga aikin shi. 

Gajiya nayi da kallon abinda yake na dawo bayan shi nasa hannuwana biyu a jikin shi and I give him a back hug na ɗaura jikina a bayan shi. 

     “This work can be done later or tomorrow morning”

      “I need to finish this work today, Diza”

       “Isn't this time meant for me and you?

         “I'm sorry then. I'll soon wrap it up. Give me five minutes”

        “Uhmhmm” nayi softly while holding him tightly na kalla agogon bango saboda nasan idan minti biyar sun cika. 

Yana nan yana aikin shi ina kallon agogo kar lokaci ya wuce ni. Minti biyar din shi suka cika har na buɗe baki na faɗa mishi naga ya rufe laptop ya ajiye. 

      “Will you let me sleep at all today?” Zaid yace tare da cire hannuwa na a jikin shi. I know he just want to tease me.

     “Of course, I'll” na faɗa da murmushi akan fuska ta ina kallon shi da fitilar bedside lamp. 

Shiru muka yi mu biyu ni na kasa yin wani abu. Idanuna na sunkuye se kuma na ɗago da kaina and I become closer to Zaid. Our faces were so close I could hear our breathing. It was a passionate kiss and that of longing. It took us a longer time before we break free from it and I didn't want to let Zaid go. His hand was on my shirt he removed my cap I know he likes it like this; unbraided and visible. His hand was still on my shirt not doing the needful so I hold him myself wanted to do away with what covers his shame. Kamar me hesitation haka nake ganin shi. Hannuna ya riƙe and Zaid left the room without saying anything. 

Tsaye nayi ina kallon wucewar shi jin yadda jikina yake yasa na zauna a gado disappointed and angry and sad.