BABI NA GOMA SHA ƊAYA

Bani na bar office ba se ƙarfe biyar. Zaid yana nan kwanakin nan baya tafiye-tafiyen shi ban san dalili ba ko kuma bayi da aiki. Zaid yana turamin kuɗi akai-akai. Haka kawai nake ganin alert daga gare shi. Motar da nake hawa ma shi ya bani ita sabuwa ce ba wanda ya taɓa hawa domin transportation se ni. Babu wani abu da zan ce na buƙata a cikin gidanshi na jin daɗin rayuwa ban samu ba. Hasalima ba magana nake ba amma komai akwai a gidanshi. Har yanzu ba girki nake mishi ba. Ina yin abinci ne a duk lokacin da nake so. Yayar shi ba zata sani yin abinda ba zan iya ba amma da gasken nasan Zaid mutumin kirki ne. 

Littafan ta guda uku wanda akayi publishing duk na karanta daga Zaid. I enjoyed every one of them to the core. I love how she use words , they sounded rich and understandable and hit differently. Duka novels ɗin nata were set in Northern Nigeria suna taɓa irin matsalolin da muke fama dasu as people. Se kuma novel nata ɗaya da tayi setting a Abuja na zamani wanda yake taɓa rayuwar wasu mutane da suke modern well educated da yadda suke tafiyar da rayuwarsu. 

Wanka nayi na shirya cikin wata ƙaramar doguwar rigar da ta tsaya akan guiwowina ina cikin ɗakina. Yanzu mafi akasari na dena sharing ɗaki da Zaid se de na zauna nan. Bulb na fara kashewa na bar bedside lamp na dawo na zauna akan gado ina duba wasu takardu. Knocking na fara ji nasan Zaid ne. Cire idanuna nayi akan takardu na ina tunanin abinda ze kawo shi a ɗakina. Abubuwan da nake ji na haɗiye nace “Come in.” Murɗa kofar akayi se gashi na gani turaren da yake amfani dashi yana isowa wurina kafin shi ya iso. 

“Sannu da aiki, Diza” ya faɗi yana kallona ba tare da ya zauna ba

     “Yawwa, sannu”

“Are you so busy? Can the work not wait for working hours?”

Yana faɗin haka nasan da wata buƙata tashi yazo. 

   “I just want to take you to one of my favourite places here in Abuja. You'll love it” yace yana kallo na. Inaso nace menene yasa kake tunanin ni zan so ɗaya daga cikin wurin da kake so amma kuma ban faɗa ba. 

   “Yanzu?”

   “Yes, if you don't mind, please”

   “Sure, I don't” nace tare da ajiye takardu a table na bedside lamp. Ba saboda son raina zan tafi inda ze kai ni ba se de kar yayi tunanin ko wani abu ne shiyasa na yarda zan bi shi. Zama yayi a bedside yana jira na na shirya. Dama nayi wanka se na buɗe wardrobe ɗina na ɗauko doguwar riga brown da mayafin da zanyi veiling kaina. A gaban shi nan na cire ƙaramar rigar da nake sanye da ita na saka braziere ba tare da na bari yaga jiki na ba tukuna nasa brown gown ɗina na dawo wurin madubi na ɗaura ƙaramin veil ɗina yana rufe min kaina da kuma bosoms nawa. Ƙaramar handbag ɗina na ɗauka da high heels ɗina nasa kwalli a idona nace mishi mu tafi. Ina ganin yadda yake kallona nasan ban yi disappointing ɗin shi ba. Hugging ɗina Zaid yayi kamar ze maida ni a cikin jikin shi yace “Thank you Diza. I'm never forgetting this.” Ban ce mishi komai ba se murmushin da na mishi muka fito daga cikin gida. 

A cikin mota babu me cewa wani abu. Sanyin AC ne se ƙamshin turaren mota da kuma na Zaid. Wani kalar sanyi nake ji a jikina wanda yake da natsuwa da kuma samar da kwanciyar hankali ga me jin shi. 

Yana tuƙi har muka isa The Vue. Furanni ne daban daban suke zagaye wurin wanda ya ƙara kawatar da wurin da bashi rayuwa. Sanyi ne ke da wurin kamar irin na fadama wanda yake sanyaya zuciyoyi. Hannu na Zaid ya riƙe kuma ban kwace ba na bar mishi har muka zauna. “This is one of my favourite places” ya faɗa min. 

    “It is a beautiful place” na faɗa mishi without any care but indeed it's a beautiful place 

          “Me zaki ci?“      

Shrugging kafaɗa ta na fara “Duk abinda ka kawo”

    “Ba zaki zaɓa ba? Suna da menu, na kawo?”

Girgiza kai nayi se ya tashi ya tafi yayi mana order abinci ya dawo. Ina jin idanun shi akaina amma ni bana kallon shi na sunkuyar da kaina. “Ban san me yasa kike fushi yau ba. Nasan bani bane na ɓata miki rai ba” naji yana faɗa 

Gira ta guda biyu na motsa “Yaushe na taɓa cewa kai ke ɓata min rai?”

Shrugging kafaɗa Zaid yayi yana kallona kamar so yake yasan abinda ke cikin raina “You don't look too happy in this marriage Diza. It disturbs me”

Shiru nayi ban tashi yin wannan maganar tare dashi ba. Bana son yasan abinda nake tunani akan wannan auren namu, bana son yasan abinda nake ji game dashi, bana son yasan na aure shi ne kawai saboda shine yake available. “Bana son zalunci. Idan da akwai wani abu wanda mutum yafi tsana a duniya, a wurina, be fi zalunci ba, har dai idan aka zalunci wanda bayi da ƙarfi. Duk inda nake da farin ciki a rayuwa ta naji zancen zalunci, fara'a ta gabaɗaya gushewa take”

Shiru Zaid yayi yana kallona kuma yana saurarena sosai babu tararwa. Da naga yana saurare kuma yana son sanin meyasa nake magana haka se naci gaba “Wata yarinya ce ƴar uwar mahaifiyyar ta ta kawo ƙarar matar ubanta akan an dasa mata wuƙa me wuta a bayanta. Ƙaramar yarinya fa, wacce ba zata wuce shekaru goma a duniya ba. Da mahaifiyyar ta na nan zata yarda? Saboda kawai bata da uwa ne a kusa da ita shiyasa za'a mata zalunci? Idan mutane zasu yi zalunci, me yasa suke yi ga wanda bashi da ƙarfi? Meyasa ko me ya hana su je suyi ga wanda ya isa irinsu? Ta yaya zamu cigaba a matsayin al'umma idan muka cigaba da zaluntar yara da duk wani ɗan Adam irin mu?”

Hannun Zaid dake across ya kawo a nawa alamar comforting. Wani sanyi naji a duk ilahirin jikina. Abinda nake ji a cikin zuciya ta na zafi naji yana ragewa wanda tunda aka kawo wannan labarin nake ji. Ban taɓa sanin wannan simple abu daga wurin wani ze sa naji irin wannan sassauci ba. Daga haka, nasan ina buƙatar wani abu daban da irin wannan a wurin Zaid yau. Dama mun jima babu abinda ke shiga tsakaninmu amma yau naji inason haƙƙina na aure a wurin shi. 

Abincin mu aka kawo muka ci silently. Bayan mun gama cin abinci muka zauna a harabar wurin ina jin iska yana kaɗawa. Zafin da ake yana ƙoƙarin gushewa ruwan sama zasu tabbata na abinda ake yi a kodayaushe. Itacen wurin na kaɗawa; wani lokaci da ƙarfi, wani lokaci kuma kamar basa so. Mun jima a haka babu me cewa wani abu. Kallon shi nayi nace “I think we should go back home.” Ina fadar haka ya tashi tsaye muka wuce. A chan gida ɗakinmu da muka fara sharing na bi shi. I was the one becoming clingy at the moment. He let me take the lead and he was happy I'm doing this myself not him asking anymore. But I was just perhaps using him because I understand what his touch could do to me; that It can calm me down and relieve me of my pain. And I know how great Zaid is when it comes to intimacy. He do it well and shows you you're desired. And think about doing this with the one that loves you deeply and fearlessly and loudly and clearly. He do it best. 

GIDANSU ZAID muka tafi kwana biyu bamu tafi mun gaida su ba. Babu kowa a cikin parlour zaman da zanyi naji ana magana kamar tana fitowa daga cikin kitchen a hankali amma kuma ana ji sama-sama kuma ba zan iya kama maganar duka ba. Inajin muryar Mummy tana cewa me yasa, se kuma chan naji muryar Khalifa yana cewa yau ne nace.....muryar kuma se ta katse na ƙara jin maganar shi yace bathroom ɗina ne kawai...se ta ƙara katsewa. Zaid yana tsaye shima hankalin shi na kan inda nawa yake se ya tafi hanyar kitchen ɗin su. Tun kafin ya isa naji ana magana da ƙarfi “Dan ubanka ban faɗa maka bana son yarinyar nan tana shiga dakin ka ba idan ba kowa a gidannan?” “Wallahi Mummy bathroom ɗina kawai ta gyara min kwana biyu ba'a wanke ba” Khalifa yace. “Ita take shiga bathroom ɗin da zata gyara maka? Nace ita ke shiga ciki da itace zata gyara? Shi bathroom ɗin ba zaka shiga ka gyara kayan ka ba? Is she the one using it you stupid one” “Ba za'a sake ba kiyi haƙuri” “Na faɗa maka bana so amma naga ba zaka dena ba ka cigaba. Itama zan ci ubanta a gidannan tunda bata jin magana , kai ka dauko ta aiki ko ni zan ji daga bakin ta” “Mummy kiyi haƙuri tunda ya bada haƙuri” naji muryar Zaid yace cikin natsuwa da wannan husky voice ɗin shi. “I told this boy bana so. Shin ban isa nace bana so ba ya dena? Is he crippled da ba ze wanke banɗakin shi da kanshi ba? Itace tayi amfani dashi da dole itace zata wanke? Bana so Khalifa bana so” “Yi haƙuri Mummy. Kai Khalifa kar na sake ji. Ka tafi” “Ina yiwa yaro faɗa kake cewa ya tafi? Ko kai ban isa na yiwa faɗa ba bale shi da na haifa? Ko kana tunanin tunda ban haife ka ba ban isa na maka faɗa ba?” naji muryar Mummy ta faɗa. Murmushi me ciwo ne ya samu wuri a fuska ta akan maganar da tayi. Kenan ba itace ta haifa Zaid ba? Ban taɓa sani ba kuma be taɓa faɗa min ba. “Amma ni yayan shi ne ko? Wannan ne baze taɓa goguwa ba” Zaid yace cikin ɓacin ran da ban san ze iya ba. Dama ya iya irin wannan magana. “Yaya yafi uwa kenan?” Mummy ta faɗa cikin mockery. “Yaya Zaid dan Allah kayi shiru kayi haƙuri” “Na haifa yaro a nuna min iko akan shi! Ya tafi, ya tafi kenan maganar da nake mishi ta banza ce bata kai ba ko? Kar ka sake Zaid idan ba haka ba har kai zan ɓatawa rai a gidannan” na ƙara jin ta faɗa se na fara jin mamaki daga bada haƙuri se faɗa ya dawo kanshi. Nan take naji haushi bana ma son ganin ta. “Daga baki haƙuri Mummy? To ga Khalifa mana ki gani idan faɗa ze sa ya dena abinda kike son ya dena” “Rashin mutunci zaka min?” naji an ɗaga murya se kuma ga Zaid naga ya fito. “Tashi mu gaida Abba se mu wuce” yace min ba tare da ya kalla fuska ta ba. Tashi nayi na bi bayan shi muka shiga muka gaida Abba har da cewa Mummyn mu na nan mun gan ta. Zaid ya amsa mishi da eh mun gan ta. Bamu jima sosai ba muka tashi muka tafi gida. 

Akan Zaid a kodayaushe baya nuna ɓacin rai yasa ɓacin ranshi na yau har a cikin mota nake jin shi. Naji tayi wani dense and cold. Isar mu gida kuma daki ya wuce be tsaya ba. Bayan shi na dinga kallo. Har zan tafi daki na na fasa na bi bayan shi. Knocking da na yiwa kofar dakin ba ace na shiga ba amma na murda kofar na shiga. By his window na same shi. Nayi tunanin na bashi back hug amma kuma ban yi ba na tsaya gefen shi ina kallon waje ta window ɗin shi. 

   “Isn't she your mother?” 

Ba tare da Zaid ya kalle ni ba yace “Yes”

“Where's your mother?”

Kafaɗun shi yayi shrugging, husky voice ɗin shi ta fito fiye da ko wane lokaci yace “She has returned to her Lord”

  “I'm sorry about it. Allah ya jaddada rahamar shi a gare ta”

“Amin” ya amsa kuma yayi shiru. Se chan yace “It has been a long time. Since when I was 2”

Shiru nayi ina jin tausayin shi ya shiga zuciya ta. Nasan yanzu yana tunanin idan itace ta haife shi ba zata mishi wannan maganganun ba. Koda tayi ba zata nuna mishi wariya ba. 

  “Maybe you need a hug?” nace tare da kallon shi

“I wouldn't mind getting one”

Hugging ɗin shi nayi ina resting jikina akan nashi. Ƙamshin turaren shi na shiga a cikin zuciya ta. 

   “You are tall, ma Sha Allah”

Dariyar Zaid naji. “Is that a problem?”

    “No, not at all. Back in school, you were tall but not tall like this”

“We grow. We keep on growing and then we stop”

Nodding kai nayi. Muna tsaye a wurin window ɗin nashi still hugging each other aka fara ruwan sama. Breaking hug ɗin mu yayi ya rufe windown shi yana cewa “Kar ruwa ya jiƙa ki.” A gefen gado na zauna ina kallon shi. System dake buɗe a vanity table ya rufe. Yasa hannun shi a sumar kanshi ya yamutsa ta. 

   “A nan zaki yi bacci?”

Girgiza kai nayi alamar a'a. “No, why not?” yace “Please” ya ƙara faɗa. Dama jira kawai nake yace Please ko ya haɗa ni da Allah na kwana anan. Abinda nasan baya yi ko kuma da wuya yayi. Idan na nuna bana son abu kyalewa yake baya takurawa. 

Kwantawa nayi a gado na cire veil da yake kaina sumar kaina ta bayyana. Na rufe idanuna. Ina jin lokacin da ya kwanta a gefe na. Zaid held my hand and nothing happened. He just held my hand in his. 

        “Are you okay, Zaid?”

     “Yes, I'm okay Diza”