BABI NA ASHIRIN

Jin ba'a ce komai ba yasa nace “Zaid?”

      “Diza” ya kira ni cikin muryar bacci

     “Bacci kake?”

Agogon bango Zaid ya duba dake ɗakin shi na gidansu. “What!” yace kamar me realizing wani abu. Da sauri ya tashi yasa takalmin shi ya shiga bathroom. Rinsing bakin shi yayi sau ɗaya ya fito daga ciki. 

    “Bacci kake?” na ƙara tambayar shi da tunanin ina ze je har yayi bacci haushi da fushi duk ya kama ni. 

“I"m home and I fell asleep. Wanted to come home by 9 but ...” ya faɗa kuma yayi shiru 

“Running away from me?”

“No, not at all” Zaid ya amsa yana fitowa daga cikin gida. Mahaifin shi na ganin shi ya kalla wrist watch dake hannun shi. “Zaidu lafiya?”

Waya Zaid ya cire daga kunnen shi amma be kashe kiran ba. “Lafiya ƙalau Abba”

“Lafiya zan gan ka a gida wannan lokacin? Ƙarfe goma fa kazo nan ka bar yarinyar mutane ita kaɗai”

“Bacci ne ya ɗauke ni Abba shiyasa”

Gyaɗa kai Abba yayi yace “To se da safe, a wuce. Allah ya bamu alheri”

     “Amin Abba. Se da safe”

Wucewa Zaid yayi koda ya duba wayar Hadiza bata kashe ba. Maidawa yayi a kunnen shi yace “I'm just late”

     “Baka da niyyar dawowa gida da baka mance ba. Wayasani ko ka mance kana da mata” ina faɗa mishi haka na kashe waya ta saboda irin baƙin cikin da nake ji. 

Akai akai nake kuma duba waya ta ko ze dinga kira amma be kira ba. Wani haushi na ƙara ji zuciya ta na min wani iri ina jin wannan attention da yake bani, da irin kulawar shi duk ina rasawa. Ban san lokacin da hawaye suka zubo a idanuna ba na dawo a gadona na kwanta ina ba kofa bayana. 

Ina nan kwance na kasa bacci amma idanuna na rufe ina tunani dayawa a raina. Idan Zaid yana ganin wata mace, zan iya bar mishi gidannan har abada ba zan juyo ba. 

Tashi nayi daga kwancen da nake nayi zaune ina kallon agogon bangon ɗakina. Ƙarfe goma da rabi ya nuna min. Tashi nayi na koma windown ɗakina ina dubawa ko zan ga shigowar Zaid saboda ya kamata ace ya iso gida. Ina nan tsaye se gashi ya shigo da mota. Parking yayi ya fito ina ganin shi na koma na kwanta. 

Na ɗan jima ba sosai da kwantawa ba naji an buɗe kofar ɗakina ba tare da knocking ba. Ƙamshin turaren shi naji se kuma chan naji hannun shi a kafaɗa ta ya zauna a gefen gado. “Diza?” yace. Share wa nayi ban ce komai ba. “Diza?” ya ƙara faɗa “Fushi kike dani?”

  “Ka mance da kana da aure zaka tafi gida ka kwanta? Ko kuma baka samun abinda kake so a gidan shiyasa kake guduwa before you leave forever I heard you asking me if I want the marriage. Are you planning on divorcing me?”

“Ba zan taɓa sakin ki ba Hadiza. Se idan kika ce na sake ki. Ki dena magana irin haka. Nasan nayi kuskure”

Tashi nayi da kwancen da nake na juyo ina kallon shi “Me ya faru da gidanmu da ba zaka zo ka kwanta anan ba se kaje gida? Idan kana bacci, damun ka nake ko bana bari kayi bacci lafiya ko so kake ka nunawa jama'a you're not getting peace in your home?”

Kallona Zaid yake yace “Lets strip all the layers, am I getting peace in this house? Are you getting peace in this house? Are you even letting yourself get the peace that good marriage brings? Be honest”

Hannuna na kai a nashi ina share maganar shi “I have been waiting for you before 5”

Shiru Zaid yayi nasan mamaki na yake yace “I'm sorry, Diza”

Ɗaga saman idanuna nayi na sauke ina kallon shi nace “Your sorry will be accepted if you stop being distant. We sleep in the same room today and we do the married people stuff”

“That won't be an issue”

Murmushi nayi na sake ce “I have got a painting for you in your study. Let's see it first”

        “Really? Are you planning on buying me?”

“I'll if I have the money”

 “And you don't have the money”

Dariya nayi na riƙe hannun shi da kyau ina ji kamar ze yi slipping muka wuce study ɗin shi. A nan yaga painting da na sa mishi. 

Kallona Zaid ya dinga yi da idanun shi , irin kallon da yake min na affection tun lokacin da muna secondary school. 

     “What am i supposed to say?” ya tambaye ni fuskar shi neutral.

Blinking idanuna nayi sau ɗaya nace “Thank you”

  “Nagode kawai ya isa?”

Murmushi nayi “I wouldn't mind if you add something”

Folding hannuwan shi yayi ya cigaba da kallona naji yace “I love you, Diza”

Zuciya ta naji tana duka har wurin shoulder na ina ji. Ban taɓa jin irin wannan ba idan yace yana sona se yau. 

Kallon da yake min naji duk yasa ina jin kaina wani iri na sunkuye kaina ina mamakin duk abubuwan da nake. Nasan inda ban fara jin shi a cikin raina ba, ba zan yi duk waɗannan abubuwan ba. 

“I love the painting. And I love you, Diza. And I want to know the reason behind all of these. You being like someone who's in love, I want to know the reason behind it. You have never acted this way with me. I don't know what I did that made you looked so resentful while the only thing I did was love you and want to be close to you. I want to know why the hard feelings then and why you change all of a sudden”

Ban so Zaid ya ɗauko duka waɗannan maganganun ba. Na so ya karɓe ni a yadda ya ganni ba tare da tambayoyi ba. 

   “Ba zaka mance da duka waɗannan abubuwan ba, Zaid?”

   “Ya zanyi na manta, Diza? Ban san laifi na ba ake treating ɗina yadda aka ga dama. Ban san ko laifi na auren ki da nayi bane ba”

      “Kayi haƙuri Zaid”

  “Ba haƙuri nake so ki bani ba” Zaid yace tare da matsowa kusa dani sosai har fuskar mu na haɗewa da na juna yana kallona nayi ƙasa shi kuma yayi sama saboda tsawon shi. Hannuna na ɗaura akan kirjin shi naji yana bugawa da ƙarfi.

    “What was my fault? And why are you changing suddenly? Did you just realize no one can love you the way I do or what exactly is it, Diza? Lead me on, I want to know”

Ban taɓa zama very vulnerable to anyone ba kamar yadda nake jin zan iya zama vulnerable to Zaid yanzu haka ba. Kuma ba zan iya faɗa mishi na aure shi ba saboda he's the only one who is available ba. Ba zan iya faɗa mishi i didn't want him back then ba and now I want him. And I have started liking him because love is a very strong word for me. 

Hawayen da ban san dasu bane suka fara zubowa a idanuna. “No” Zaid yace tare da sa hannun shi yana share min hawayena “Don't cry. I'm not asking you to cry. I'm asking for answers”

    “Zaid” na faɗa tare da jan hanci “I was so ashamed to call you my husband because I'm older than you, Zaid. That's the reason why I was like that. But let's make amends. I'm ready to change because I understand there's no shame in it”

Hannun shi yasa a gefen fuska ta yace “I don't trust you, Diza. I don't trust you on what you said because my family, no one even knows you're older except Muhammad. And I have never heard Muhammad talks about it, Diza. But I'm letting it go because I love you with my heart in its entirety. I hope you don't have any motives in being this good suddenly”

Kaina na ɗaura a chest ɗin shi ina ƙara jin yadda zuciyar shi take bugawa. Be ɗaura hannun shi a jiki na ba ya dai tsaya tsaye while his heart keeps on beating. 

  “Can we make out here?” naji Zaid ya faɗa se da naji jikina ya min wani iri

   “Here? In your study?”

“Yes, we should” yace. Be jira abinda zan faɗa ba ya matsa dani a wurin bango just right a wurin painting da nasa aka sa mishi. It was a passionate kiss first before everything got deep and Zaid asked me to open my eyes and look into his eyes directly. I never knew he could be this but he is. And I love this about him and I love the way he stares at me and I love the way he touches me and the way he do me. I have never felt this satisfaction before. 

He looks a little tired idanun shi na rufewa ahankali yana buɗe su. Zuciya ta na duka ahankali na wanda take cikin natsuwa da kwanciyar hankali. Riƙe ni yayi sosai all to himself yayi kneeling yayi hugging nawa and places his head on my abdomen. Hannuna nayi resting akan sumar kanshi ina son kan nashi akan chest ɗina not on my abdomen. 

     “I love you, Diza” ya faɗa min ina jin sinceretyn shi a cikin zancen shi. 

Ina so na faɗa mishi i like him amma zuciya ta fisga na take da nace i love him ba dai i like him ba. Ni kuma ina ɗaukar time nawa ne na gama sanin abinda ke cikin zuciya ta kuma ba zan iya ce mishi i like him ba ganin nake kalmar yayi ƙaranta sosai ga irin wanda ke son ka irin yadda Zaid ke sona. 

The first time Zaid started staring at me differently was when I was in SS2 and he was in SS1. It was during our second term when we were back for holidays. I was sent by a teacher to their class. The teacher said I should look for a calm person and talk to. And I knew how he was so calm so I talked to him about an English teacher being absent today because he reported being sick , he should tell his classmates to go to Physics lab. As I was talking to him, I noticed how he looked at me with something different. I didn't knew what it was then. But I knew it was affection before we left secondary school.