BABI NA ASHIRIN DA BAKWAI

KWANCE ZAID yake idanun shi na rufe ina kallon shi. I'm really observing how young he looks and how young he actually is and how handsome he is with good body structure. Fuskar shi yayi boyish so innocence. Yana ƙoƙarin yin numfashi koda ciwo yake ji saboda sun ce ya dinga yi even though they know it hurts. Ɗakin da muke yana da haske sosai komai na cikin shi ma fari ne. Ban yi zaton ina zaune a wuri ba, kuma Zaid ba bacci yake ba amma kuma ya rufe idanun shi ya ƙyale ni. We have a lot to talk about. I want to tell him how scared I was of losing him. I want to tell him how my heart beats for him while he was unconscious and it's still beating for him. I want to tell him I'm ready to be pregnant again with our baby and this time, I'd give birth happily, not even a single thought of abortion will cross my mind. I want to tell him that I love him fearlessly. I love him even if he'll break my heart. 

Idanun shi ya buɗe ya ɗaura akaina. Yana min wani irin kallo wanda ban gama ganewa ba. Fuskar shi neutral. “Ina so zanyi wanka, Hadiza” ya faɗa min 

  “Okay” nace “Let me check the bathroom” Tashi nayi na shiga bathroom na duba. Komai intact their bathroom is very neat har shower suna da. Akwai towel a ciki da duk wani abu na buƙata a cikin banɗaki. Ruwan zafi na saka mishi saboda yanzu baya son amfani da ruwa koda sanyi ne dasu kaɗan. He likes them hot but mild not too hot. 

Koda na fito ina mishi magana ban ji ya amsa ba. Da na dawo kusa dashi sosai se naji bacci ya fara. Hannuna na kai a nashi “Ba kace zaka yi wanka ba, Zaid? Kazo kayi idan ka gama se kayi bacci. Zaka fi ji daɗin baccin ma harda jikin ka”

Buɗe idanun shi yayi ya stressing nasu kaɗan nace “Lafiya?” Nodding min kai yayi se na riƙa mishi hannu ya tashi. Ina riƙe dashi har muka isa cikin bathroom ɗin. Fitowar da zanyi na bashi space ya jawo ni naji tsoro sosai na ɗaura hannuna a chest ɗin shi ya kuma kashe bulb dake ciki, not entirely dark but the light is not too visible I could see his face and he could see mine. 

Muna tsaye a tsakkiyar shower ya kunna shi ruwan suka fara zubowa a jikin mu. Ruwan sun min zafi amma ban ce komai ba, tsorona ɗaya shine kar wani baƙo ya shigo a ɗakin ko kuma wani na gida ya shigo ba ma nan a cikin ɗakin.

  “How is your health, Zaid?” na tambaye shi, tambayar da ban taɓa mishi ba tunda aka kawo shi asibiti. I'm just there for him duk abinda yake so ni nake mishi, abinci ma ni nake bashi. Ni nake goge mishi jikin shi da ruwan turare i help him with his clothes I help him take care of his hair and his nails both fingernails and toenails. I take him to the bathroom and help him with everything literally. 

  “I'm tired of laying down here in the hospital on that bed everyday. I really don't like this place. I want to go back home, back to my workplace. It's not fascinating here, Hadiza. It has been 10days. I'm tired, really tired” ya faɗa min cikin husky voice nashi, kind of hoarse. 

   “Sun kusa zasu mana sallama. Ka ƙara haƙuri” na faɗi mishi cikin feminine voice nawa, wanda nake samun kaina inayi a tare dashi, soft and steady. 

Zip da yake a riga ta yasa hannu ya fara cirewa kuma ban tsaida shi ba. Irin haka be taɓa faruwa tsakaninmu a asibitin ba. Fuska ta ya fara haɗewa da nashi, tip na dogon hancin shi yana taɓa tip na hancina. Ina jin damp eyelashes nashi a nawa damp eyelashes ruwa na zubo mana. Zuciyata ce ta fara duka kamar zata fito inaso nayi steadying kaina amma ba zan iya ba saboda nasan a inda muke. 

   “Why, Hadiza? Please why?” Zaid yace. Na ɗauka ya dena wannan maganar ashe Zaid be gama wannan maganar ba. Dukan da zuciyata ke yi ya ƙaru ina jin kamar zan faɗi nasa hannuna a bayan shi sosai na riƙe shi. 

   “You once told me that I don't know you and I now trust you on that. I truly do not know you, Hadiza. I didn't know you could go to this extent and abort my two babies. What do I call you?”

   “I'm s.....”

  “Hadiza, please not sorry, please” Zaid ya faɗa and he kissed my lower lip. Wani tsoron shi naji ya fara shiga jikina akan abinda yake. He's confronting me on what I have done and he's getting so close I'm so scared what this will lead to and I'm scared of this confrontation and getting close in its entirety. It looks like he's going to hurt me. It looks like he's being a villain. 

  “Kin san, Hadiza, be kamata na zauna tare dake ba?”

Wani duka na ƙara jin zuciyata tayi ba dai Yaya Hauwa tace mishi ya rabu dani ba.

  “I'm not supposed to still be with you, Hadiza. I'm really not supposed to. But we're still together. I should have divorced you a long time ago but I didn't. I thought you'll change but you didn't and I allowed you to have two abortions. I allowed it. I did. If I have divorced you a long time ago, you wouldn't be pregnant to talk more of abortion. I'm still with you because I love you. I love you for who you are. I love you with no conditions that's why my love hasn't faded yet. I'm scared it'll never fade away because I love you truly and I want to be with you forever and ever, Hadiza. Why don't you just keep everything at bay and let's live forever? Tell me what you don't like I promise I'll adjust. Do you know how tormenting it is to love someone that doesn't love you back?”

Hawaye suka fara zubo min bana son Zaid yana irin wannan maganar “Ba haka bane ba wallahi Zaid. Wallahi ina ƙaunar ka. Ban damu ba zaka iya buɗe zuciyata ka duba. Dan Allah ka duba Zaid. Kai kaɗai ne a cikin zuciyata kuma ina nan tare da kai a kodayaushe dan Allah ka dena magana irin haka. Ka bawa Yaya Hauwa haƙuri bata son min magana bata son gani na. I'm not judging her for this ko ni ce haka zanyi idan wata na yiwa ɗan uwana haka amma na gyara komai Zaid, ina kan gyara maka kaina, saboda kai kaɗai Zaid. Dan Allah kayi haƙuri”

  “You love me because you felt like I was going to die. You wouldn't do that if I was okay”

 “Why don't you open my heart and see if it's not going to last forever?”

     “Hadiza”

Girgiza kai nayi “Kace Diza. Dizan ka kai kaɗai, Zaid” i said and I go for a French kiss with him. 

Hannuwan shi biyu nasa a bosoms nawa and I gave myself to Zaid yet again bosoms nawa na min ciwo but i let him with whatever he wants to do. 

Hannuwana biyu nasa nayi hugging nashi na ɗaura kaina akan chest ɗin shi ina jin numfashin shi na fita da sauri. 

   “Are you okay?”

  “No, I'm not okay”

Da sauri na tada kaina ina kallon shi a idanu. Idanun shi na rufe he looks so tired chest nashi na yin sama da ƙasa. Gabana naji ya faɗi da sauri sau uku na jawo towel na ɗaura wa Zaid to cover his shame na kashe shower. Riƙa mishi hannuwa nayi biyu muna fitowa daga banɗaki. Fitowar da nake tare dashi yayi daidai da buɗewar da aka yiwa ɗakin se ga ƙamshin turaren Abba na kuma ji presence na wani mutum a tare da Abba. Zip na riga ta ma wallahi ban saka ba a buɗe yake. Sumar kaina shima a buɗe duk ya jiqe. Kayan da nake sanye dasu a jiƙe suke kaina duk ya sha ruwa ina ɗigar ruwa. 

  “Subhanallah” Abban su Zaid yace

  “Dan Allah ku kira Doctor baya numfashi da kyau i didn't.....” nace se na tsaya. Abba ya fita aka bar ni da Muhammad muka shirya Zaid. Da sauri na koma bathroom na chanja kayan jikina. Ina ciki naji Doctor ya shigo na kasa fita duk kunya ta kama ni ina jin kamar ƙasa ta buɗe na shiga ciki. 

  “Me ya faru dashi?” naji Doctor ya faɗa 

“Ina Hadiza, Muhammad?” naji muryar Abba ban san lokacin da cikina ya murɗa ba. 

  “Kamar naga ta shiga bathroom”

  “This man is cold! What has happened to you?” muryar Doctor ta ƙara fitowa

Da sauri na fito ina son danne duk wata kunya da zan ji. Kamar jira ake na fito Doctor na kallona yace min “Me ya faru dashi, Hadiza? He's cold, his health is deteriorating”

  “A cikin shower ya shiga ze yi wanka”

   “And you let him, Hadiza?” Doctor yace ɗauke da mamaki a fuskar shi da kuma cikin muryar shi “Bayan mun faɗa akwai high risk na pneumonia da respiratory complications tho they fixed his ribs, ko a wancan asibiti ba an faɗa muku ba, Hadiza? Why will you let him in the shower bayan kinsan matsalar shi? Biye mishi zaki yi ne? Kin san how we men are, sometimes we need guidance, why will you let him then? I didn't expect this from you” Doctor ya faɗa disappointedly yana duba Zaid. “Vacate the room, let me stabilize him” ya ƙara faɗa. Kallo ɗaya na yiwa Zaid da kyar yake iya numfashi na fita. Muhammad shima ya fito amma Abba be fito ba. 

Muna nan tsaye jikina duk yayi sanyi ina dana sanin abinda ya faru. Da gaskiyar doctor me yasa ban hana Zaid ba. Ban san tahowar Yaya Hauwa ba muryar ta kawai naji tana cewa “Me ya faru Muhammad? Jikin Zaid ɗin ne ko dai wani abu kuma?”

  “Jikin shi ne Yaya”

  “Me ya faru to jikin yayi deteriorating?”

  “Shower ya shiga domin yin wanka shine ruwan were not good for him jikin shi ya tashi”

Rufe idanuna nayi saboda nasan yanzu kaina zata dawo a gaban duk wanda yake wurin. 

  “Ke Hadiza me amfanin ki to anan wurin idan har Zaid ze yi abinda ze tada mishi ciwo baki ce komai ba kuma baki hana ba? Me ya haɗa shi da shower tukunna?” ta faɗa tana kallona 

Shiru nayi ban amsa ba ban san abinda zan faɗa ba. Cikin tsawa naji tace “Dake nake magana” jikina ya motsa ina so na bar wurin amma ban wuce ba “Wanka yake so yayi”

   “Gabadaya ya rasa inda ze yi wanka a cikin banɗakin se ƙasan shower? Kuma kin sani fa and you let him. You know it'll deteriorate his health because you know he had his ribs fixed and there's high risk of pneumonia”

   “I thought he was completely out of danger, Yaya”

    “Then look at what your 'thought' had done to him. If you just can't take care of him , let us know. Abinda yasa na bar ki dashi saboda ke ce matar shi kece kike da haƙƙin zama da mijinki da kulawa dashi cikin wannan yanayin but if you can't, ki faɗa mana mu hutar dake da wannan aikin zamu iya mishi komai”

Nan take raina ya ɓaci se hawaye kamar an kunna pampo amma duk ɓacin ran da nake ji dole na danne because I understand Yaya Hauwa and I know where she's coming at with this and I know she's scared of losing the brother they have the same mother with, the brother that they stayed in the same womb with, da kuma yanda Zaid yake kallon ta a matsayin mahaifiya.

   “We....he just....” na fara se kuma na rasa abinda zan faɗa, na kuma ƙara ɗaukowa “I love Zaid too, Yaya. I'm scared of losing him too. I know I did wrong by allowing him in the shower but don't we make choices we are not proud of?”

  “So it's even a choice you are not proud of?” tace tana kallo na haɗi da observing ɗina ina jin sanyi sosai nima.

Kallon Muhammad tayi “Da ita suka shiga showern?” 

Shiru Muhammad yayi be ce komai ba se kallona da yayi. Ranta dama a ɓaci yake shima ta mishi tsawa “Im asking you something Muhammad”

Ahankali Muhammad yace “Tare muka ga sun fito daga banɗakin and she was wet, all of her”

  “Ke lafiyar ki lau shi bayi da lafiya wanda aka yiwa fixing ribs ana tsoron pneumonia a wurin shi da matsalar numfashi shine zaki zauna tare dashi a ƙasan shower? What nonsense se kace ƙananun yara? Duk abinda kuke so kuyi ba ze yiwu akan gado bane se a ƙasan shower? So kike ki kashe yaron nan ne ni Hauwa?”

  “Yaya haba mana. Wane kisa kuma? Matar shi ce zata so ya mutu? Dan Allah ki dena magana irin haka”

  “Ka min shiru Muhammad kar na ɓata maka rai”

Shiru Muhammad yayi aka buɗe kofar ɗakin Zaid. Likita ne ya fara fitowa Yaya Hauwa tace mishi “Akwai wani matsala ne, Doctor?”

   “Komai Alhamdulillah. He's stable in Sha Allah”

   “Yawwa mun gode”

Likita ya wuce Abba ya fito. 

  “Me ya faru nake ta jin zancen ki Hauwa?”

  “Abba dani da matar Zaid ne. Wannan matar tashi ban san halin ta ba. Ya za'a yi ace duk an faɗi abinda yake damun yaron nan ta sani kuma amma ta ja shi zuwa ƙasan shower. Wannan wane irin abu ne?"

   “A'a Hauwa. Ban san ki haka ba. Ai idan ba za'a gode wa Hadiza ba be kamata a faɗi laifin ta ba. Tana iya ƙoƙarin ta yau ne aka samu matsala. Kuma duk mutum ai ba za'a samu komai daidai a wurin shi ba. Ayi haƙuri dan Allah”

Shiru Yaya Hauwa tayi ba tace komai ba se shiga ɗakin Zaid da tayi domin duba shi.

Abba yana kallo na yace “Kiyi haƙuri da abinda take faɗa kinji Hadiza. Mun san kina iya ƙoƙarin ki amma kar a sake irin haka kinji? Allah yayi miki albarka Ya baki lada”

Gyaɗa kaina nayi Abba ya sake ce “Kuma ban da kuka kinji? Ai Hauwa yayar ki ce kema kamar a wurin Zaid”

Ƙara gyaɗa kaina nayi. 

“Ki shiga ciki ki ganshi Doctor yayi stabilizing nashi se de bacci yake”

Ƙara gyaɗa kai nayi kuka na son fito min amma na danne tunda yace banda kuka.