BABI NA ASHIRIN DA TARA

BAYAN KWANA biyu aka yi mana sallama muka koma gida. Kuma anyi clearing Zaid yana iya zuwa wurin aiki amma banda tafiye-tafiye zuwa offshore, ze de iya tsayawa office. 

A ranar da aka mana sallama naje ɗakin shi na bashi ruwa yace na zauna. A saman gado na zauna ina kallon shi baya kallona. Idanun shi ya dawo dasu a nawa yana kallona a cikin idanu har se da naji wani iri yace “I want us to be honest with each other, Hadiza”

Ya faɗa se kuma yayi shiru wanda yasa na gyaɗa mishi kaina. “Bana so na riƙe ki cikin wannan auren idan baki so. Idan kin fi so mu rabu da juna, Please tell me I promise to let you go this instant”

Tun yana magana na fara girgiza mishi kai “Komai ya wuce Zaid. Ka yarda dani, komai ya wuce”

  “Babu abinda ya wuce, Hadiza. Idan da gaske kina so mu cigaba da zama da juna, ina so nasan laifin da na miki for how I was treated in this house and I want to sincerely know the reason of your two abortions”

Ban san lokacin da zuciya ta tayi duka ba ina mamakin abinda yasa Zaid ba ze dena irin wannan maganar ba. 

  “Why are you talking about this, Zaid? Isn't it over?”

   “No Hadiza, no. It's not over. Believe me it's better I know”

   “Amma bashi da amfani Zaid. Me yasa zamu yi maganar da ba ze amfane mu ba?”

  “Wannan amsar naki shi ze determining ko zamu iya cigaba da zama da juna ko ba zamu iya ba”

  “Idan kana tunanin ba zamu iya ba, zaka rabu dani ne, Zaid?”

“Ina ga shine mafi alkhairi a wurin mu da mu zauna muna ɓatawa juna rai”

 “I'd rather stay with you hurting than to leave and be happy because I love you Zaid and my happiness lies in your happiness”

Murmushi Zaid yayi yace “This is satisfying but can you answer my questions?”.

Shiru nayi farin cikina duk ya tafi yawo. Bana son faɗa mishi dalili bana so yaji wani iri a cikin zuciyar shi, most especially yadda yake ƙaunata babu restrictions. Kuma inaso na faɗa mishi gaskiya saboda nasan shi ze sa yasan ya alaƙar mu ze kasance ina jin tsoron idan yana magana haka se naji kamar ya gama sanyawa a ranshi ze rabu dani. 

  “Bana so kayi tunanin wani abu a ranka akan abinda zan faɗa maka Zaid”

   “I'll be patient” yace yana kallona. Hannun shi na tafi riƙowa se ya hana be bari ba. Babu embarrassment na dawo da hannuna a jikina. 

   “I never loved you when I married you, Zaid. I married you because you were the only available option for me”

Zaid kallon Hadiza yake tana magana be katse ta ba. Fuskar shi de ta chanja yana cikin mamaki sosai har girar fuskar shi na son haɗewa akan takure su da yayi. Amma yana so ta cigaba da magana baya so ya katse ta. 

Shiru nayi ina kallon Zaid ina tsammanin yayi magana amma be yi ba. Na cigaba da magana “Dan Allah kayi haƙuri Zaid. Nasan nayi leading naka on. Nasan ban kyauta maka ba saboda nasan babu komai a cikin zuciyata meyasa zan yarda na aure ka amma haka na yarda aka ɗaura mana aure. Amma ka saurare dalili na Zaid. Ina ganin girman ka da nayi wani abu babba ne a wurina kuma mun yi karatu da ɗan uwanka a makaranta ɗaya a aji ɗaya. Duk shine yasa ban yarda muka yi aure chan baya ba. Dan Allah ka yafe min nasan ban maka daidai ba. Over time na fara jin ka a cikin raina that I even started hating myself but I fell in love with you what could I do but to succumb, Zaid?!”

   “Maganar juna biyu da na zubar kuma” na cigaba da magana ban san lokacin da hawaye suka taru a idanuna ba har suka fara zubowa amma ban share ba na cigaba da magana “I aborted the first pregnancy because it was a loveless marriage for me, Zaid. Nasan duk shimfiɗar da zamu haɗa tare da kai kana yin komai ne akan soyayya da ƙauna amma ba haka bane a wurina. Juna biyun da na samu na biyu na fara ƙaunar ka Zaid. The reason why I aborted it is because you didn't stand up for Rahama. I thought then that I got married into a terrible family. I'm so sorry you're hearing this Zaid. I'm so sorry. My heart now loves you in its entirety and I'm ready to stay with you forever Zaid. I'm ready for another pregnancy and I promise it'll be of great affection from me. Please you should accept me and my apologies. I'm sorry for treating you the way I did”

  “Ha.....” Zaid ya fara ya kuma yi shiru ya ƙara ɗauko wa “You married me without love , Hadiza? And now you're saying you love me with your heart in its entirety? How can I believe this new love is real not because you felt guilty or you just being scared?”

Girgiza kai na fara yi ina so ya yarda dani “Da za'a iya buɗe zuciyar mutum a duba ko da akwai soyayyar gaskiya, zan yarda ka buɗe nawa, Zaid”

  “Ba ze kai mu ga haka ba, Hadiza” yace tare da tashi tsaye “Im not disappointed because I was expecting this but to say I didn't look like a fool all these times, that would be a lie. I can't fathom...” he stopped and he was staring right at me “I still can't understand why you married me knowing you have no love for me. It's not I'm the only available option, no, I'm only the fool that will agree to marry you. Yaya Hauwa has being right all along. You look quiet but you're not quiet Hadiza. I don't know whom I should be scared of between you and the devil because you have no difference” 

Ban san ya akayi hawayen idanuna suka ƙara ƙarfi ba jin Zaid yace Yaya Hauwa tayi gaskiya duk wannan lokacin kuma be san dani da shaidan wa ze fi jin tsoro ba saboda bamu da banbanci. 

  “I should have divorced you, Hadiza. I so much have divorced you because we're not compatible but you know what? I love you truly and sincerely. I don't have any bad intentions towards you but I think it's high time I let you go because I don't trust your new love. You're like a chameleon and chameleon changes colour whenever it suits it and so you do that too, Hadiza. I know and I have seen how a cunning chameleon you can be”

Zaid na faɗin haka ya fita. Ban san ze taɓa iya magana haka ba. Ban san ya iya magana haka ba. Ban ma san yana da exposure ga irin kalaman da yayi amfani dasu a gare ni ba saboda be yi kama da irin waɗannan mutanen masu vile words a cikin su ba. He always looks soft and calm and naive. And I know now that he's just waiting to divorce me. 

Zuciya ta nake jin tana zafi tare da jin tsoro a cikinta. Bana tunanin zan cigaba da rayuwa kamar yadda nake idan Zaid ya rabu dani. Ina ƙaunar Zaid sosai da yanzu zan iya roƙar shi mu zauna tare da juna ko naje na faɗiwa Abban shi ko kuma nayi wa Yaya Hauwa magana akan mu ta bashi haƙuri duk na chanja halaye na. Har na jawo waya ta se kuma na maida. Nasan Yaya Hauwa ba zata taɓa goyon bayana ba se de ta saurari Zaid kuma tace zata faɗawa Abba Zaid ya rabu dani tunda dama ba son shi nake ba.