BABI NA TALATIN DA UKU

KWANA BIYU duk da ina zuwa aiki be sa na fasa yiwa Zaid abubuwan da nake mishi ba. Duk lokacin da nake gida ina yin aiki kuma ina yi mishi kwalliyar kaina. Muna yin breathing exercise tare dashi saboda naga idan ban matsa mishi ba ba ze yi ba kamar baya son rayuwar tashi ni kuma ina son ta kuma ina son ya samu cikakkiyar lafiya har ya fara zuwa offshore wurin aikin shi ba tsayawa kaɗai nan Abuja ba a office. 

Shiga ɗakin shi nayi, akan gado na samu kayan shi an wanke an goge. Cirewa nayi a ledar da suke na mishi arranging a wardrobe ɗin shi. Bayan na gama na fito saboda gadon shi a gyare yake bathroom ma haka. 

Duk da a gajiye nake bana dawowa gida yanzu se kusan ƙarfe biyar ko shida saboda aikin da muke yanzu, haka na shiga kitchen nayi tsaye ban san abinda zan dafawa ba. Hannu nasa a goshina ina kallon gas cooker. Ƙamshin turaren Zaid na fara ji naji yace “Ba yanzu kika dawo daga aiki ba? You don't have to cook anything, I'm okay” ya faɗi ko kallona baya yi. Ruwan da ya shigo ɗauka ya ɗauka ya fita daga kitchen ɗin. Ni yanzu ba ma aikin ba, wanda nake yi saboda shi yayi appreciating shine magana amma kamar Zaid baya ma ganin aikin da nake ko saboda ban saba yi bane ba ko kuma saboda babu wani abu na aiki wanda baya iya yiwa kanshi ne? 

Gas na kunna, ai zan dafa abincin ko yace na bari kar na dafa. Na ɗaura mana sphagetti da dahuwar kifi, bayan na gama na zuba mayonnaise a plate na sphagetti na kai mana a dinning. 

Kiran shi nayi ya taho yaci abinci amma daga gani akwai wani abu cikin kan Zaid yau, yana kan wayar shi nayi aƙalla minti ɗaya da seconds talatin kafin yace min “Naci abinci, bana jin yunwa”

   “But i cooked” nace calmly duk da irin yadda raina ya ɓaci.

Danna wayar shi yake kafin ya bani amsa nayi wasu seconds talatin tukuna yace “Kafin ki dafa na faɗa miki ba se kin yi abinci ba”

   “Ina tunanin idan nayi zaka ci”

  “Bana jin yunwa” ya faɗi tare da kallona 

 “But i cooked Zaid. Kar ka watsa min ƙasa a ido”

Ɗago kai yayi yana kallona yace “I told you not to cook because I'm okay. You didn't listen but went ahead to cook and now you want to force me in eating the food I told you not to cook. Are you serious Hadiza?”

Raina in yayi dubu ya gama ɓaci har zafi nake ji cikin zuciyata amma bana so nayi wani outburst wanda ze goge duk abubuwan da nayi a bayan nan na kirki wa Zaid. Rufe mishi kofar ɗakin shi nayi ahankali na wuce dinning. Zaunawa nayi idanuna sun cika da hawaye. Sun fara zubowa nasa hannuna na share. Ganin wasu hawaye na kokarin zubowa yasa na ɗaura kaina akan dinning table na fara kuka. Se da nayi kuka me isa ta tukuna na tashi na kai duka kwanukan a kitchen na wanke na wuce ɗakina. 

Washegari na dafa mishi ruwan tea na zuba a flask na soya omelette na kuma aza mishi sliced bread tukuna na wuce wurin aikina. 

Bani na dawo gida ba se ana kiran sallah Maghrib. Nayi zaton Zaid ya kira yaji ko lafiya amma be kira ba. Koda na shiga parlour naga alamar kamar ana renovating gida. Anyi sabon fenti har sabbin curtains an saka daga ash zuwa light brown masu kyau. An chanja carpet ta tsaka an chanja center table da na Tv. Juyawa nayi ina kallon parlourn saboda har kujeru an cire ba'a sa wasu ba. Sosai naji zafi a cikin raina amma babu abinda zanyi kuma nasa a cikin raina ba zan cewa Zaid komai ba tunda har ze iya fara renovating gida be sanar dani ba se kace ni bani da haƙƙin nasan abinda ze faruwa a cikin gidana. Ɗaki na na wuce, a chan ma an yi fenti an chanja labule irin na parlour. Ansa sabon carpet. Banɗaki na shiga na ɗauro alwala na dawo nayi Sallah ina ta mamakin abinda ke faruwa. Babu inda tunanina ya tafi kuma se ko dai Zaid aure ze ƙara ne gashi yanzu na fiye ganin shi tare da wayar shi yana danna. Gabana ne yayi duka saboda nasan ni de ba zan taɓa iya haɗa Zaid da wata ba. Se idan ze bar auren ko kuma ni na yafe na tafi na bar shi har abada saboda nafi so na wucewa ta da na tsaya kishi da wata akanshi. Zuciya ta ba zata ɗauka raba shi da wata ba. Ba zata ɗauki samun Zaid a lokacin da aka ƙayyade min ba. Ba kuma ina zama against polygamy bane ba, nasan addini ya halattawa maza mata huɗu amma ni de ba zan iya raba Zaid da wata ba. Idan nace zan yi haka, zan cutawa kaina ta yadda bana zato kuma zan tsaya ciwon zuciya ya halaka ni. Hala daa wani ne ba shi ba, zan iya zama na amince amma shi ko tunanin shi da wata yana sa min jin haushi da takaici da fargaba. Ko yanzu nayi roko Allah yasa ba aure ze yi ba saboda idan shine zan ce ya rabu dani da kaina. Kuma wanda yake da matsala da matar shi za'a ba shawarar ƙara aure maimakon a bashi shawarar da ze daidaita da matar shi? 

Ina nan zaune a carpet har lokacin Isha yayi. Inaso na kira na tambaye shi dafa abinci kar ya min irin walaƙancin da yayi min jiya. Nayi tunani kuma idan na kira shi na tambaye shi ze ce a'a kuma zan dinga tambayar shi ne ni kuma ina samun a'a. Da kuwa Zaid yace a'a baya ci gwara nayi abincin idan yaso kar ya ci ko yaci kaɗan. 

Ruwan tea kawai na dafa se suyan kwai da nayi na kai dinning. Shigowar shi bayan Isha nace “I made tea with omelette”

Tsayawa Zaid yayi yana kallona. Har ya ɗaura fuskar tausayi yayi sauri ya cire wannan karon be min musu ba muka wuce dinning table tare dashi. Jikina gabaɗaya yayi sanyi saboda be min musu ba saboda nafi so ya min musu, wataƙila idan yayi zan ɗauka ba auren ze yi ba, amma da be yi ba, se na ɗauka da gasken ina da surety aure ze ƙara. Shin wa ma ya sani ko ni ze sallama ya kawo sabuwar amaryar shi shi yasa yake renovating gida?

Zama nayi daura dashi wannan karon ba a kusa dashi ba. Tean da na haɗa one sip nayi ban ƙara yi ba saboda bana jin daɗin dukkanina. Zaid yana shan tean shi yana kallona. Shi baya ma jin nauyin irin wannan kallon da yake min wanda ko blinking babu. Gani nake har cikina yana iya gani idan yana min kallo haka. 

Be tambaye ni abinda ya dame ni ba bayan ya gama ya tashi ya wuce da kwanukan da yayi amfani dasu a kitchen. Ina nan naga zaman ba ze min ba na tashi na wuce ɗakina na kwanta akan gado. Ban san meyasa yanzu nake craving wanda zan faɗawa matsalar rayuwa ta ba. Ba zan de iya kiran ummah na na faɗa mata ba saboda ban san wace irin masifa ce zata min ba idan har na faɗa mata na aure mijin da na aura ba tare da ina son shi ba se yanzu nake ƙaunar shi amma be damu dani ba. Maganganun da zata min se sun fi min zafi akan irin yanayin da nake ciki saboda nasan zata faɗa min ta kuma jaddada min kar na yarda duk abinda ze faruwa aurena ya mutu. Yanzu nake dana sanin ƙin holding onto friendships and nurturing them amma kuma waya sani ko hakan shine mafi alkhairi a gare ni na rashin ƙawaye. Waya ta na jawo har nayi dialling number colleague ɗina, Hanna, nayi sauri na katse ganin be kamata na faɗa mata ko wani matsalar gidana ba. Abinda yafi shine na tsaya na magance matsala ta da wanda nake da matsala dashi ba in je in rarraba matsalata ga mutane ba. Wasu zasu ji daɗi ana gani na haka into a wealthy family amma ashe ina da matsalar aure, wasu zasu samu abun yayatawa a duk inda suka tafi se a dinga min wani irin kallo nida mijina. Nake ganin gwara na bar damuwata wa ni kaɗai na magance ta. Bana buƙatar ƙawaye su san abinda ke faruwa a gidana tsakanina da mijina. Yadda kuke tunanin muna cikin farin ciki marar misaltawa, bari mu cigaba da nuna muna cikin farin cikin nan. 

Washegari na yiwa Zaid fries kafin na bar gida. A wurin aikina Hanna ke tambaya ta abinda ya dame ni saboda taga kwana biyu ko ƙarfin jikina bani da. A zolayance tace “Ko dai kina expecting ne, Hadiza?”

Murmushi nayi mata ina tunanin ma yaushe rabo na haɗa shimfiɗa da Zaid da har zan samu ciki. Girgiza mata kai nayi nace “No, I'm not expecting, Hanna”

   “So what bothers you? Ki ɗauka kamar ni ƴar uwar ki ce”

Wani murmushi na ƙara yi “Kinga kuwa bani da ƙanwa, ni kaɗai Ummah na ta haifa”

   “Really? How does it feel like growing up in a house where you are the only child?”

  “You get pampered amma idan kayi wanii abu, za'a gane kai kayi saboda kai kaɗai ne a gidan”

   “But you get all the love”

     “You surely do”

  “Now, back to our question. What bothers you?”

   “Babu komai Hanna"

   “Ina fatar da gaske kike?”

Wani murmushin na sake yi “Babu komai. Ina ga stress ne daga wannan aikin, kinga kwana biyu aiki ya mana yawa”

Kallona Hanna take bata yarda da abinda nake faɗa mata ba tace “Hakane”

Yau ɗin ma se ƙarfe shida na koma gida. Wannan karon, an kawo sabbin kujeru a parlourn mu, light brown masu kyau da suka yi iri da labule. An chanja TV zuwa wani babba sosai wanda yafi namu a baya. Wall clock na parlourn shima an sa sabo. Standing AC an chanja. Ina jin haushi sosai amma se da na tsaya ina kallon gyaran saboda yayi kyau sosai. Ɗakina na wuce, a chan na samu an chanja min gado da wardrobe da shoe rack da inda nake ajiye handbags ɗina. Kujera guda dake ciki itama an chanja zuwa irin kalar gadona. Buɗe wardrobe ɗina nayi naga kayana na ciki kamar ba'a taɓa ba se nayi tunanin yana yiwuwa company Zaid yaba kwangilar wannan aikin shi yasa komai yazo da sauƙi kuma ana yi yadda ya kamata. Handbag ɗina na aje na wuce dakin shi, a chan ma anyi irin chanjin da akayi ɗakina. Wani parlour da yake kusa da ɗakin shi wanda ba'a fiye shiga ba na buɗe, shima an chanja komai dake ciki. Tsayawa nayi ina kallon wannan gyaran yayi kyau sosai. Na ma mance ban duba dining table namu ba. Fitowa nayi na koma parlour chan dining area shima an chanja komai zuwa dinning table me kalar kujerun mu. Kitchen na shiga, anyi fenti ansa sabuwar gas cooker da sabon oven. Tsaye nayi ina mamaki yanzu kam dalilin da ze sa ayi irin wannan renovation. Ganin ban san dalili ba se hasashen da nake yasa na koma ɗaki nayi Sallah. 

Yanzu ma da daren, Irish na fere na soya da kwai na zuba ketchup. A dinning table na kai tare da Lipton na Zaid. Ina nan zaune ina jiran shigowar shi nasa kaina a table saboda gajiya. Nasan lokacin da yake shigowa yasa na ɗago kaina se kuwa gashi na hango. Idan raina yayi dubu to ya ɓaci saboda dai Zaid yasan na haɗa mana abinci but i have to call him everyday kuma se ya gama yi min gardama tukuna yake zuwa yaci abincin. 

  “Zaid” na ɗan ɗaga murya ta ina kallon shi.

Juyawa yayi, ashe waya ce a kunnen shi. 

   “Please come” nace. 

Yanzu be nuna min komai ba ya fara tahowa. Yana isowa ya zauna daura dani ya kashe wayar shi. 

    “Da wa kake waya irin wannan lokacin?” nace ina kallon shi da gajiyayyun idanuna.

Kallona yake “Work related”

   “Yanzu komai work related? Duk wayar da kake a gidannan gaba ɗayan ta duk work related ne? Please ka dinga min adalci mana Zaid. Ko aure zaka yi ne naga duk kayi renovating gida ko faɗa min baka yi ba se de na dawo daga aiki naga an chanja komai? Ana yin haka fisabilillah? Ko hoto nake a cikin gidannan tunda ba zaman kaina nake ba, a dalilin ka nake gidannan ai ya kamata za'a yi renovating gida a faɗa min. Yanzu idan nace an taɓa min takardu kuma ban gani ba fa. Za'a san inda aka kai su ne?”

   “An taɓa takardun ne baki gani ba?” yace yana kallona sharply

  “I was giving an example. I suppose to know duk wanda ze shigo a cikin gidanmu. Ba kai kaɗai kake zama anan gidan ba. Kuma ni ba yar aikin ka bace ba. Zaid, ko ƴar aiki ka aje a cikin gida, idan za'a yi gyara zaka faɗa mata bale ni da nake matar da kake aure idan kuma auren namu da kai ya warware ko kuma kana tunanin zaka warware shi, ka faɗa min. Besides, why the renovation? 

  “Idan kin ce na warware auren, zan yi yanzun nan”

Kallon mamaki nake yiwa Zaid. 

“Wallahi Zaid kace aure zaka yi a gidannan, zan bar maka shi har abada kuma zan yafe ka”

Kallona yake be ce komai ba. 

  “Kar kayi tunanin wasa nake. Duk ranar da kace zaka ƙara aure a gidannan, wallahi zan tafi Kaduna kuma ba zan sake waiwayar ka ba”

 “Yanzu ma idan Kaduna kike so ki tafi, ba hanaki zanyi ba”

Tashi tsaye nayi “Idan har kana so na koma Kaduna, ka faɗa min dalilin da ze sa na koma. Idan ma rabuwa dani ne kayi, se ka faɗa min nasan dalilin zuwa na Kaduna. Idan Abbana ya tambaye ni nasan abinda zan faɗa mishi”

Shiru Zaid yayi be ƙara cewa komai ba. Ji nake kamar na ɗauka plate na tangaran na fasa mishi a fuska saboda irin baƙin cikin da yake sa min a cikin zuciya. Plate ɗin abinci na na buga a dining table se ga Irish ya nata flying Zaid yana kallona calmly.

   “Wallahi zuciyar ka bayi da kyau, Zaid. I'm starting to hate myself saboda na kasa gane irin wannan zuciyar ka da bata yafiya. I said I'm sorry baka ganin na chanja ne? I'm a changed person Zaid. And I love you. I truly do. Nace nasan nayi kuskure don't I deserve a second chance?”

Ina magana Zaid ya tashi ya fita. Ina magana ZAID ya tashi ya fita.