BABI NA HAMSIN DA HUƊU

DUK RANAR DA doctor ya shigo duba ni se ya zolaye ni tukunna yake wucewa. But i always tell him he doesn't know how it feels and he'll never know how it feels because he can never give birth. Murmushi yake ya ƙara jaddada min how dramatic I'm Zaid must be really enjoying spending time with me. I'll look at Zaid and smile. Kuma na matsa mishi a sallame ni na gaji da zama a asibiti and it has only been four days there da banda hawan jinin da yake damuna da a ranar za'a muna sallama saboda yanzu idan akayi cs an dena riƙe me haihuwar a asibiti su jima ba'a yi sallama ba. 

Satin mu ɗaya a asibitin doctor yayi muna sallama se appointment da aka bani. Tare da su Mummy da Yaya Hauwa da Shahida muka koma gida suka min duk abinda ya dace kafin suka tafi. 

Ba'a yi yanka ba kuma ba'a sa suna ba saboda health condition nawa zamanmu a asibiti. Zaid yace se wani sati za'a yi. Ina so na tafi gida amma yace na bari ayi suna nan se na tafi gida kuma yace sati ɗaya za'a yi. Kallon shi nake da yace sati ɗaya ban ce komai ba. 

Zaune nake a gado while our baby is in her crib from across me ina kallon ta. Tunani na fara yi da ban zubar da cikin da na samu biyu ba, maybe this baby will be our second. Da sauri na kawar da tunanin a raina. 

Kuka ta fara ina da niyyar zan tashi se ga Zaid ya shigo se na koma na zauna. Ɗaukar ta yayi yana kallon ta ina jin yana cewa “What troubles you, my flower? Flowers don't cry. Now, do they? Of course they don't” Murmushi nake ina kallon su admiringly as he talks to his girl. 

     “Or are you hungry? Let Maama breastfeed you” yace tare da bani ita na amsa. Zaid shi ya cire min zip na riga ta na fara shayarwa. 

       “Nace zan faɗa maka, dan Allah kar ka ce a'a”

          “Menene?”

    “Ina son bottle na shayarwa da breast pump. I'll be breastfeeding her through it”

         “Why?”

  “Ciwo nake ji idan tana sha daga jikina”

    “Sorry, Diza. Idan na fita yanzu zan siyo”

Murmushi nayi nace “Nagode. Allah ya saka da alheri”

    “Ya maganar sunan da za'a sawa baby?” ya faɗa yana kallon baby da nake breastfeeding 

“I don't have any name on mind. Se de ko kai”

   “Diza ki faɗi gaskiya”

Murmushi nayi ina kallon shi “Bani da suna fa. Ka zaɓa sunan”

    “Na tambaya ne ko kina da sunan da kike so”

Shiru nayi ina nazari. Chan nace “Layla?” Zaid kallon ta yake har yanzu ya girgiza min kai. “Maisoon?” na ƙara faɗa yana me cigaba da kallon ta kamar yana tunanin wani suna ne ze yi fitting nata ya ƙara girgiza kai yace “What is that?”

      “It is a name”

Shiru yayi be ce komai ba. Na ƙara ce “Maram?” Girgiza kai Zaid yayi. 

    “Ban san sunan da zan faɗa maka ba kuma. Duk wanda nace se ka girgiza kai”

Ɗago kai yayi ya kalle ni sau ɗaya ya maida idanun shi akanta “Ina kallon ta ne naga sunan da ze fitting nata”

     “Okay, you choose the name yourself. I'm out of names”

    “Give me two to three more. Let's see”

Ajiyar zuciya na sauke tare da cire ta daga shayarwar, Zaid ya ɗauke ta daga jikina “She's full” ya faɗa yana me cigaba da kallon ta admiringly. “She's sleeping” ya ƙara faɗa 

    “What about Reem?” 

       “Reem, Diza? No. Is that the name you like?”

    “No, just calling them out for you to choose”

    “Of all the names you have called out, which one do you like more? Let's call her that”

    “There is Aziza too. And Mahnoor”                                      

      “Or we should call her Aziza?” “It's a beautiful name”

Gyaɗa kaina nayi “So we named her Aziza. Allah yayi mata albarka a duk inda take” “Amin ya Allah”

   “Thank you for making me a daddy. Thank you, Diza. May God bless you for all that you'll do for Aziza”

     “Amin.” na faɗa tare da ɗago kaina na kalle shi “You made me a mother too. Thank you, Zaid. And we're grateful for all that you are doing for us and will do for us in the future. Thank you”

    “I love you. Do you know?” Zaid yace tare da sa hannun shi a nawa. Kaina na sunkuye ina sauraren shi. “I love you, Diza. I don't know the reason but I know I love you and it's going to be forever. I was scared of losing you. You scared me”

    “In the labour room?” nace tare da ɗago kai na kalle shi 

     “Yes” yace. Tashi tsaye yayi yasa baby a crib nata yace “Bari na siyo miki abinda kika ce”

Tashi tsaye nayi ina bayan shi muna tafiya. Bayan ya fita daga ɗakin na tsaya a ƙofa. “Drive safe”

    “Take care of yourself and Aziza” Zaid yace yayi pecking forehead nawa tukunna ya wuce.

Ƙarfe biyar ya dawo da duk abubuwan da nace ya siyo muna. Zaunawa nayi na haɗa electric breast pump a jikina milk din ya dinga zubowa a cikin sterile bottle. Tsaye Zaid yake yana kallo yace “I have never seen this” 

     “It is much better da ace da hannu zanyi pressing”

   “Yeah, much better”

Gyaɗa kai nayi yace “Yanzu duka wannan bottles se kin saka?”

   “Zan sa kamar quarter”

Kallona yake yana son fahimtar yadda ake yi yace “Alright then?”

    “Yawwa se na sa a cikin fridge kar ya ɓaci”

     “Okay da an tashi shayarwa ɗaukowa kawai za'a yi?”

    “Eh, amma se anyi warming nashi a cikin warm water then we feed her with it”

    “Alright na gane. But isn't you nursing her directly from your breast easier? My thoughts”

    “It might be. I don't like the nursing inajin ciwo sosai idan tana sha directly from me”

   “I understand, Diza” yace ya shafa kafaɗa ta 

  “Bari na tafi nayi sallah”

     “Yawwa, se ka dawo”

Se da ya fara tsayawa wurin Aziza yana kawai kallon ta kafin ya wuce. Murmushin dake kan fuska ta ya kasa barin fuska ta inajin daɗin irin wannan kallon da yake yiwa yarinyar shi. And it made me think again, I'd have let my previous babies stayed. 

Tare da Khalifa Zaid ya dawo, Khalifa ya kawo muna abinci. Godiya nayi mishi nace yace wa Mummy mun gode sosai. Aziza na hannun shi tun bayan da suka shigo har se da lokacin Isha yayi ya tashi suka wuce tare da Zaid bayan ya min sallama ba ze dawo ba gida ze wuce. 

A cikin crib nata na maida ta na shiga wanka. Ina cikin wanka nake jin kukan ta babu yadda zanyi. Ina cikin wankan nake jin muryar Zaid ƙasa-ƙasa yana magana da ita kamar tana jin abinda yake faɗa amma kuma bata yi shiru ba. Fitowa nayi saboda kukan yayi min yawa. 

Fitowa ta kenan daga banɗakin Zaid ya fara “Haba Diza! Zaki shiga banɗaki ki bar ta ita kaɗai?”

     “Ga ni na fito kuma ba za'a bar ta ita kaɗai ba?! Idan inaso nayi wani abu yaya zanyi?”

Miƙo min ita yayi na zauna ina kallon ta tana kuka saboda ban ma san me zan mata ba. I nursed her before I went to the bathroom I know she's not hungry. 

    “To ba zaki sa tayi shiru ba?”

   “Ban san abinda zan mata ba Zaid. Se da na shayar da ita kafin na shiga banɗaki ba yunwa take ji ba”

      “Shikenan se ta dinga kuka ba za'a mata komai ba?”

   “Ka ɗauko min bottle ɗaya a fridge mana mu gwada mu ga idan zata sha. Warm it first sanyi ne kawai dashi”

Fita Zaid yayi. Ya ɗan jima kaɗan kafin ya dawo da bottle na breast milk da na pumping ɗazu. Bata nayi bata sha ba amma kukan ta ya fara subsiding. Amsar ta Zaid yayi yana to and fro da ita se gashi tayi shiru se bacci kuma. 

    “Ka taɓa babysitting ko?” 

Murmushi yayi ya sata a cikin crib nata. 

   “You see, Aziza is a good girl. She don't want to stress her Daddy”

   “I'll pinch her tomorrow so that duk rarrashin ta da zaka yi ba zata yi shiru ba”

    “Idan kika yi pinching Aziza ni kika yi pinching Diza”

     “Oh! Ba dai tunanin ka ba zan iya pinching naka ba, Zaid? Please tell me no” na faɗi tare da tashi tsaye naje kusa dashi. Hannuna ɗaya ya riƙe na fara murmushi. 

“Kinga cs aka miki kar nazo ramawa nasa hannuna a cs naki”

   “Even in your wildest dreams ai ba zaka yi ba”

    “Okay whatever don't try me” yace tare da riƙe ɗayan hannuna. 

    “Ouch Zaid! Zan faɗi” 

Da sauri ya sake hannuwana ya riƙe ni ta baya. Cikin tsoro yace “Hadiza?”

Dariya nayi ganin yadda yake cikin tsoro. Girgiza kai yayi yace “Nasan se kin sa min heart attack watarana”

“Idan nasa maka heart attack, da wa zan zauna? Kana nan dai tare dani ba wani heart attack da ze same ka. We'll raise Aziza together”

    “Only Aziza?”

      “An faɗa maka zan sake wani haihuwa ne?”

    “Okay, not family planning?”

     “Ni gaskiya ba zan iya wani sake haihuwa ba. Aziza ta ishe mu”

   “Amma bamu yi maganar Aziza kawai zamu haifa nida ke ba. Wannan ke kaɗai kika yi deciding”

Kallon Zaid nayi na samu wuri a gado na zauna. Doguwar rigar da na ɗauko tun ɗazu nasa. Yayi tsaye yana kallona amusingly. 

     “Ba zaki yi wani haihuwa ba? Let it be something we both decide not only you because you're not the only one in this marriage”

  “Dama baka tausayi na ban sani ba?”

  “Oh please Hadiza”

     “Are you angry already?”

   “C'mon! Why would I be? It's your body but a child born in this house belongs to me and you. That's what I want you to understand”

   “You understand me. I'm scared of giving birth again. I'm so scared. I haven't forgotten what I went through to bring Aziza here”

   “Ba kowane ciki ne ze miki irin na Aziza ba”

   “Kana son yara dayawa?”

Shiru Zaid yayi yana kallona be ce komai ba. Bana son na saka tunanin da yake min yawo a cikin kai cikin zuciya ta amma na samu kaina da faɗin “Koda bana so na ƙara samun juna biyu, ba zan zubar maka ba. Koda bana so. Ka yarda dani”

   “Ba shine a cikin kaina ba”

Nasan ba haka bane ba. Wannan abun shine a cikin kan Zaid. Shi yake tunani.

    “Nasan shine abinda kake tunani Zaid”

Wani kallo ya min kamar ya gaji yace “Lets stop talking about this”

Jin yace haka ban sake cewa wani abu dangane da yara ko zubar da ciki ba. 

Murya ta na ƙasa-ƙasa nace “Bacci nake ji. Ina so na kwanta nayi bacci”

    “Ki kwanta kiyi bacci zan duba Aziza idan ta tashi”

Gyaɗa mishi kai nayi na kwanta a gado. Na rufe idanuna zuciya ta na duka naji hannun Zaid a cikin hannuna. Ban buɗe idanuna ba na ƙara maimaita mishi “Da gaske ba zan ƙara zubar maka da ciki ba”

  “I said let's stop talking about it”

Gyaɗa mishi kai nayi kamar wata ƙaramar yarinya. 

    “I love you, Hadiza”

Ban san ya akayi har idanuna suka samu damar zubar da hawaye ba. Ban san lokacin da har nayi forming nasu ba da zasu zubo. Nasan da gaske da gaske Zaid yana ƙaunata nasani. Be taɓa contradicting maganar shi ba. Mutum ma ya so ka tun kana yarinya a cikin shekarun ka na goma sha wani abu har yanzu da kake ashirin da wani abu, kasan da gaske yake akan maganar shi ta ƙaunar ka.