BABI NA HAMSIN DA BIYAR

BAYA CIKIN RA'AYI na yin bikin haihuwar da nayi. Da na faɗa wa Yaya Hauwa ba biki zan yi ba tunda har ɗagawa muka yi domin lafiya ta, tace ta yarda da abinda nace amma su close family za'a yi biki ƙaramin biki ba wani babba ba. Ban ji daɗin abinda tace ba amma babu yanda zanyi ba zan iya ce mata a'a ba. 

Suka sa aka azo har gida aka min lalle a ƙafa da hannu. Shahida ta wanke min kai a gida saboda nace ba zan je saloon ba. Aka kawo min ɗinkin kayan da zan sa a ranar biki Zaid da kanshi ya zaɓa min lace din me kyau light brown. Ranar bikin harda kwalliyya aka min. Yaya Hauwa ta kira me kwalliya aka min light makeup da taimakon su na shirya su ma duk sun shirya kowa yayi kyau. Aka yi decoration a cikin gidanmu a gaba aka sa Naming Ceremony of Aziza Zaid. Komai yayi kyau mu kaɗai ne ba yawa just the close family. I was happy kuma naji daɗin da ban ce wa Yaya Hauwa a'a ba because I really enjoyed the whole naming ceremony. Kwana biyu da gama bikin baby Aziza muka yi shirin zuwa Kaduna. Tare da Zaid muka tafi airport a departure muka yi sallama dashi kuma har yanzu bamu gama zancen yaushe zan dawo ba saboda ya faɗa ranar da yake so ni kuma nace a'a. Daga jin haka kuma yace ranar da yace zan dawo a ranar zan dawo. Ban sake ce mishi wani abu ba amma nasan ba zan dawo ranar da yake so ba. 

Anan Kaduna na tafi gidajen ƴan uwanmu har ma da na close family friends. Babu abinda yake min zafi kamar idan na juya bana ganin mahaifina a cikin gidanmu. Zuciya ta har zafi nake jin tana min. 

Kuka Aziza ke yi tana hannun Umma ta kira ni na amshe ta. Bayan na amso ta na dawo ɗakina na shayar da ita. Na sha faɗa a wurin Umma ganin yadda ake shayar da Aziza. Har cewa Umma tayi “Akan dalilin me? Jikin ki ne baki so ya lalace ko mijin ki yace baya so ana sucking naki? Ai da mace tayi aure ta haihu se de tayi haƙuri da wani ɓangare na jikinta ba ze taɓa dawowa irin yadda take lokacin da tana budurwa. Ke yanzu ba wani sabon aiki bane ace bayan kin zuba ruwan mamah a bottle ansa a fridge ko freezer se an sake warming kafin a ba baby? Amma daga jikin ki bata kawai zaki yi ba se kinyi irin wannan ba.” Bayani na yiwa Umma akan ciwo nake ji idan ina nursing na Aziza. Gyaɗa kai tayi tana me gane abinda nake magana akai. 

Na gama shayar da Aziza bata yi shiru ba. Ajiye ta nayi akan gado ina kallon ta, Zaid ya kira. Kallon wayar nake har ta katse saboda ban san ya zanyi ba ga Aziza na kuka kamar ta tada min ɗaki. Kira na Umma tayi tace na kawo Aziza. Miƙa mata ita nayi na dawo ɗaki na kwanta akan gado. Ƙara kira Zaid yayi na ɗauka. 

   “Mijin Barrister” shine abinda nace cikin wasa.

Dariya Zaid yayi har ina ji nima se nayi dariya. “Ina Aziza?” ya tambaya

    “Ba zaka fara jin ya wannan matar taka ba se de Aziza? Kar muyi faɗa fa”

    “A'a ba zamu yi faɗa ba. Naji muryar ki shiyasa nake tambaya about my little flower”

Murmushi na kan fuska ta jin abinda yace, nace “Tana wurin Umma kuka take min yau”

    “Faɗa min abinda yasa take kuka”

     “Ban sani ba fa. Na ba Umma ita kukan ma ya rage”

     “Alright, anjima zan kira ki haɗa ni da ita”

           “Okay”

   “Gobe zaki dawo. Na miki booking flight ticket”

     “Nace maka ba gobe zan dawo ba” na faɗi mishi. Zaid be sake cewa wani abu ba ya kashe wayar shi. Nan kuma kiran shi video call ya shigo. Se bayan wayar ta kusa katsewa tukuna na ɗauka fuska ta bata da alaman wasa ko fara'a. 

    “Tun kafin ayi suna na faɗa miki ranar da zaki dawo. A ranar da na raka ki airport na faɗa miki ranar da zaki dawo. Kika yi shiru baki sake cewa wani abu ba na ɗauka an bar maganar kenan har cikin ranki kin dai yi shiru amma ba zaki yi abinda nace ba”

    “Yaushe nazo Kaduna da har zaka ce na dawo gobe? Kwana uku fa kuma sabuwar haihuwa ce dani ba zaka jira ko sati ɗaya nayi ba. Nida ma ya kamata har se nayi arba'in tukuna na dawo”

Ɗaga idanun shi yayi yace “Arba'in? Menene arba'in? Are you serious, Hadiza? Na faɗa miki gobe zaki dawo. Tun ɗazu na miki forwarding e-ticket PDF da booking reference naki baki ce komai ba kenan kin gama kullawa a ranki ba zaki dawo gobe ba?”

   “Ka jira nayi sati ɗaya idan nayi sati se mu dawo”

   “Gobe zaki dawo” ya faɗa sternly yana kallon cikin idanuna.

     “Ba zan iya dawowa gobe ba. Ban yi wanki ba ban shirya ba”

 “Idan kika dawo za'a yi wankin. Ki shirya yau ki dawo gobe Hadiza. Bana son gardama”

   “Dan Allah ka jira. Sati ɗaya zanyi na dawo. Har Umma na cewa sati ɗaya zanyi”

Zaid be ƙara cewa wani abu ba ya kashe wayar shi. Gyara kwanciya ta nayi akan gado ina kallon waya ta har bacci ya ɗauke ni. 

Dama nace ba zan dawo a ranar da yace na dawo ba so ban ma yi wani shirin komawa Abuja ba. Ban kuma faɗawa Umma abinda Zaid yake so ba saboda nasan da ta sani se na koma gida. 

Ranar naji bata min daɗi ko kaɗan. Ɗakin Abba na shiga. Komai nashi yana nan ciki kamar yana nan ba'a taɓa ba. Ina da hoto ni dashi when I was a little girl lokacin Abba be tsufa ba he might be in his late 20s to early 30s. Tsaye nayi ina kallon cikin ɗakin ina tunanin inda aka kai hoton. A wurin littafan shi na gan shi an juya shi ba'a ganin mutanen dake cikin hoton. Juyo da hoton nayi ina kallon shi ina so na tafi dashi inda nake but i rather leave it here. Zama nayi a kujera zuciya ta bata min daɗi nasa duka hannuwana a fuska ta. Sanyi naji a hannuwana hawaye ne suka fara min zuba. Sukunyar da kaina nayi a cikin laps ɗina na fara kuka na gaske. I'm angry and sad and angry and sad at everyone. 

Bayan na gama kuka na shiga banɗakin shi na wanke fuska ta. Ina jin yadda idanuna suke ƙara cika da hawaye amma basu sauko ba na koma ɗaki na. Kwantawa nayi a gado ina kallon wuri ɗaya ina tunani. Wayata tayi ringing. Dama tana kusa dani a gado na jawo Zaid ne na ɗauka. Ko gaisawa be tsaya muka yi ba ya fara “Ba dai Hadiza ban isa na miki magana ki ji ba ko?”

Yanzu da dare nan bana jin faɗa da fushi ahankali nace “Kayi haƙuri”

Jin yadda muryata ta fito yasa Zaid yace “Lafiya, Hadiza?”

“Lafiya kar ka damu”

    “Video call?” ya tambaya.

Girgiza kai nayi kamar yana ganina se kuma nace “A'a”

     “Me yake damun ki? Anyi wani abu ne?”

    “Babu abinda ya faru, Zaid”

“Muryar ki ke faɗa min wani abu ya faru. Will you mind telling me what made you cry?”

Shiru nayi ina jin hawaye da suka cika min idanu sun fara zubowa. Hanci na fara ja nace “Babu komai, Zaid. Ina kewar Abba na ne”

Shiru Zaid yayi. Nasan yana ji min zafi ga abinda ya faru dani na mahaifina. 

   “Kiyi haƙuri kin ji Hadiza? Kar ki taɓa mancewa cewa kowa yana da lokacin shi”

Gyaɗa mishi kai nayi kamar yana kallona. 

     “I'm sorry” ya ƙara faɗa, muryar shi husky, ahankali. Bamu ƙara cewa komai ba be kashe wayar shi ba nima ban kashe ba. 

Babu abinda nake tunani se irin zamana da Zaid. Ina son rayuwa tare dashi. Naso ace na bashi damar muyi zaman aminci tun lokacin da aka ɗaura mana aure ba se daga baya ba. Zaid, a wurina, ya kasance miji wanda nake iya yiwa komai a duniyar nan. 

                                                                

Sati ɗaya nayi a Kaduna na koma Abuja. Zaid be yi faɗa ba tun ranar da muka yi waya dashi nake faɗa mishi ina kewar mahaifina be ƙara cewa na dawo gida ba se bayan nayi sati ɗaya. 

A gida idan yana nan yana taimaka min da komai za'a yi. Ko kuka Aziza take yi da ya ɗauke ta yana rarrashin ta yanzu zata yi shiru. 

Aziza na cikin crib nata ina a gado kwance ina kallon ta. Idanuna rufewa suke suna buɗewa ina so nayi bacci. Zaid ne ya shigo ya tsaya a crib nata yana kallon ta yana mata magana “How are you my little flower? Aren't you sleepy?” yace yana mata murmushi. Hannun shi ya kai a nata ya riƙe tukunna ya dawo wurina. Hannun shi yasa a nawa “Bacci kike so kiyi ne?”

Gyaɗa mishi kai nayi “Abincin ka na dining. Ban dafa ruwan Lipton ba na gaji Zaid”

“No, don't worry about that” ya faɗa tare da pecking lips ɗina “I'll look after Aziza while you rest okay?”

Gyaɗa mishi kai na ƙara yi ina rufe idanuna. “Thank you. Thank you for everything. We love you”

Tashi yayi ya ɗauka Aziza daga cikin crib nata suka fita. Fitar su ban san lokacin da bacci ya ɗauke ni ba. 

Sati huɗu da haka nake mishi maganar family planning. 

     “Wane irin method zaki yi?”

“Se idan mun tafi mu ji wanne yafi”

     “Shekara nawa zaki yi?”

Kallon Zaid nake idanuna sun yi kalar tausayi yace “I seriously do not expect us to stop at Aziza, Diza. Don't do this to us, okay?”

“Tsoro nake ji”

   “Ba ina tare dake ba? Ina tare dake a kowane lokaci, a kodayaushe, a kowane irin yanayi, Diza, you'll find me beside you”

Shiru nayi saboda bana son wannan shawarar Zaid. So nake ya yarda da abinda nake so. 

“Look, idan kika ƙara samun wani juna biyu, zamu yi magana da Doctor about your fear okay? Believe me you're going to be okay”

Ban ce komai ba na sunkuyar da kaina naji ya riƙe min hannuwa na ɗago da kaina. “Baki yarda da Zaid ba?”

“Na yarda da kai mana”

    “Ayi na shekara uku?” ya tambaya se ya fara kawo nashi suggestions “Idan aka yi shekara uku, kika sake wani haihuwar, muyi na wani shekara uku, ki sake wani, shikenan na yarda a dena haihuwar”

“Har yara uku, Zaid?”

      “Hadizaaa!”

   “To se nayi shawara”

  “Dawa zaki yi shawara? Dani zaki yi ko? Saboda baki da wanda zaki yi shawara dashi da ya wuce ni”

      “Yaya Hauwa ma fa ɗaya ne da ita”

Idanu Zaid ya buɗa amusingly yace “Yaya Hauwa bata da lafiya shiyasa. Zara ma invitro fertilization suka yi”

    “Ohhh” nace, duk ɗauka ta bata de shirya wani haihuwar ba ashe bata da lafiya.

“Ohhh” na ƙara faɗa “Kayi haƙuri ban sani ba”

    “Alright so, ki yi shawara. Don't use your heart, talk to your mind okay? I love you and will always be beside you, Diza”

I still feel butterflies idan Zaid yace irin haka. Riƙon da ya min a hannu na ƙara riƙe shi nace “I adore you too, Zaid. Thank you for everything”

Bayan kwana ɗaya da faruwar haka na faɗawa Zaid na yarda da shawarar shi. Washegari muka tafi asibiti aka sa min implant na shekara uku. Dawowar mu gida nayi bacci peacefully. Bayan na tashi ne koda na shiga ɗakin Zaid na same shi tare da Aziza suna bacci. His little flower was sleeping peacefully on his chest. Kallon su na tsaya yi for a minute kafin na wuce kitchen na dafa mana abinci. 

Lokacin da nake jera food flask a dining ne Zaid ya tashi har ya dawo inda nake. Tare muka zauna dashi a dining area. 

    “It has been six weeks since the birth of Aziza. Don't tell me you're scared of intimacy”

Murmushi nayi bana kallon fuskar shi “I miss you too”

“Really?”

  “Uhmmhmm. Amma ka ɗan jira ni kwana biyu ka ji?”

     “Naji, The Barrister”

Wani murmushi na ƙara yi na ɗago kaina ina kallon shi. 

“Ban san ko tsoron irin ƙaunar da kake min nake ba. Idan na mutu ya zaka yi, Zaid?” na tambaye shi

   “We'll meet some time, in another world”

    “I'm asking what would you do when I die”

     “I don't know, Diza. I don't know. But I know it's going to be difficult. And who says you'll die before me?”

        “I have to”

Kallona Zaid yake yace “Okay kin sani ne?”

Dariya nayi “Ya za'a yi nasani”

   “Naga kina magana da certainity”

      “No, kawai ina magana ne. I'd love to go before you tho”

      “Why?”

    “I don't know”

   “Diza ki dinga faɗin gaskiya. You're scared because you can't live without me”

Dariya nayi sosai jin abinda Zaid yake faɗa. Wannan zolayar nashi is something that I love about him. I have a husband to smile, laugh and tease with. I'm happy that I found my spark with him. He has brought that up in me. I never knew I could be this but here I'm with the right person finding a side of me I didn't know existed.